26 Fics in 26 Minutes

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A story for a song by a band starting with every letter of the alphabet. Ranging from angst to fluff to humour to porn to general whimsy. Encompassing Boosh, RPS, Nathan Barley, Robots in Disguise, and Asylum, and probably a few other things too.

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Length: words

Pet Shop Boys – Love Comes Quickly

Contents

Pet Shop Boys – Love Comes Quickly

“Fuck. I’m really sorry,” Howard muttered, sitting back up.

Vince tried to hide his disappointment, his chest still rising and falling, his heart pounding. “No, no. Don’t worry about it. It’s fine.”

Howard put a hand over his mouth, face tilted away from where Vince was still sprawled on the bedclothes. “It’s really… I mean, I bet you’ve heard it before, but this really hasn’t happened before. Not to me.”

Vince made an effort and sat up, the sheets sticking to his back slightly with sweat, and put an arm around Howard’s shoulders. “Really. It’s fine. We’ve had a bit to drink, and–”

“I haven’t had that much!” Howard snapped, and Vince took his hand away, wrapped both arms around his legs.

“Alright, alright. I’m just trying to help.” He propped his chin on his knees and mused for a bit. “Also, it’s not like you’ve done this before.”

“I’ve done this before, thank you.“

“Not with a bloke, you haven’t.” Vince watched him carefully, but received no contradiction, and smiled slightly. “Thought not.”

“Yeah, alright.” Howard clambered out of bed and started searching for his clothes on Vince’s floor – no mean feat, since Vince’s floor was already covered in discarded clothing.

“Howard, don’t be like that. We can, you know, try again. I thought it was going pretty well, me.”

“It’s late, Vince. I’m tired. This was… I don’t know. A sign, maybe.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled his trousers on, back to him.

“Don’t be stupid.” Vince crawled over to him and wanted to touch him, but resigned himself to just sitting close, looking at the scar on his left shoulder and remembering tracing it with his tongue. “This happens to everyone, sooner or later.”

Howard swivelled to glare at Vince. “To you?”

“Yeah!”

Howard just looked at him.

Vince folded his arms. “Oh, what, I’m not allowed to be a human being now? I might be sex on legs, I might have every bi-curious bloke from here to Shoreditch after me, but it doesn’t mean I have mind-blowing orgasms every night. I’m quite capable of, you know.” He gestured vaguely as Howard turned towards him properly, intrigued.

“… you know?” he asked with the beginnings of a smile, copying the gesture.

Vince sighed, half-closing his eyes. “Accidentally biting down the first time I sucked cock. Or trying to tear open a condom with hands covered in lube, and ending up throwing it across the room.”

Howard smirked.

“Or, and this is a good one,” Vince held up a finger, “losing a condom entirely. As in, put it on, got down to it, never saw it again. Ever. That was a nasty couple of days.”

“What happened to it?”

Vince leaned in slightly. “Howard, when I say ‘never saw it again’, I mean, never. I have absolutely no idea.”

Howard laughed, then closed his eyes as he remembered what he was laughing about, and sighed. “Still. Not on your first go, though.”

Vince pretended to think about it, nodding. “No, no, not on my first go. The first time I went to bed with another bloke I never actually got to the fun part at all. Complete wanker, that one. And, I didn’t have any lube, he didn’t carry any around with him, and didn’t, like, make any suggestions. So not the best start, all round.”

Howard squinted at him. “You’re making this up.”

Vince sighed. “Howard. It’s just sex, really. If all I wanted from you was a quick fuck, I could… well, okay, maybe I couldn’t just go out into the streets of London and find myself another, not without paying for it. You’d have to give me a few days, at least. But I… this is more to me than that, it is.” He lay backwards slowly, making himself comfortable in all his many cushions, and twisted under the sheets, grinning. “Come back to bed.”

Howard smiled, very, very slowly, wolfishly, his eyes crinkling up and his tongue flicking out to lick his lips. “Do you have lube?” he asked.

Vince held eye contact. “Fuck no. I don’t see why your first time should be any better than mine. We want to start off equal, don’t we?”