Moonstone Cowboy
Category: The Mighty Boosh
Characters: Bob Fossil, Dixon Bainbridge, Howard Moon, Naboo, Vince Noir
Pairing: Howard Moon/Vince Noir
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, AU (Alternate Universe), Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: NC-17
Warning: BDSM, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Murder, Smut (graphic sex scenes), Violence - Heavy, Unspecified Warning
Status: Complete
Length: 100-150k words
Away
Contents
Away
Howard splashes his face with water. “Just go in and ask the question. You’re The Sheriff, you’ve every right to go in and ask the question.” He splashes his face again. “Keep it simple and brief. There’s no need to get angry, not yet. Yes, keep it simple.”
Howard straightens up and adjusts his shirt collar in the dirty mirror in the station rest room. He combs his wet fingers through his hair flattening down the few curls that always insist on raising themselves up from behind his ears. He fiddles with his badge.
“Bainbridge, where’s Vince?” No, too accusatory. “Mayor Bainbridge, please where is Vince?” No, too apologetic. “Bainbridge, Vince is missing. Do you know where he is?”
“I take it your Deputy is missing.”
Howard instinctively puts his hand to his gun as the all too familiar voice booms out from behind him.
“First tell me how I got here.”
“I brought you here.”
“How?”
“On my carpet.”
Vince shakes his head in misunderstanding. “Your carpet?”
Naboo points to a rolled up rug leaning up against his bed. “It flies.”
“Pull the other one.”
Naboo shrugs his shoulders. “Believe what you like.”
“But why bring me here?”
“You were about to die Vince but it’s not your time yet. I had no choice.”
Vince shakes his head even more. “Please, you have to explain it better than that.”
Naboo fidgets a little on his stool before putting the bowl on the ground. He puts his hands out in front of him.
“Imagine this is you.” He shakes his left fist, “And this is Howard,” he shakes his right.
“Okay.”
Naboo links his fingers together. “And this is you now.”
Vince blushes slightly at the analogy.
With fingers still linked together Naboo raises a digit and drops it back. He raises another one and drops that back. “You and Howard are the constant but there are all these things pulling at you to try and tear you apart. Other people, other events, your own misgivings.”
“But that could be said of any partnership.”
“No Vince, you and Howard are different.”
“How?”
“Because you are spiritually pure and eternally bound soul-mates. You are meant to be together for always and forever. When outer forces try and separate you the consequences are greater than with others. The universe feels the rift.”
“But we’ve only known each other for four days.”
“No Vince, think about it. You’ve known about Howard Moon much of your life. All those stories you heard.”
“But he didn’t know about me.”
“Again that’s incorrect Vince. In the depth of Howard’s soul, in the well of his heart and the inner workings of his mind Howard Moon has been waiting for you this entire time.”
Vince closes his eyes in disbelief.
Naboo continues. “Recently though the natural order of things has been off kilter. The balance of the spiritual cosmos has been tipping slightly to the left. That’s why I’m here. The Board of Shamen worked out that it was you Vince, well you and Howard. For some reason your predestination has started to unravel. We couldn’t work out why and we still don’t know, so I’ve been sent to Moonstone by the Board to help steer you, to help guide your choices and present you with opportunity. To help protect you and put you back on the correct path.”
Vince reopens his eyes.
“So we’re puppets to you is that it? What, are you a god as well as a shaman?”
“Anything but. Unlike a god I make no rules and demand no worship. Neither can I intervene completely, I can only suggest.”
“And is it working this intervention of yours? Is the balance coming back?”
“Not exactly no. I thought it was but there’s something I’m still missing. Something that still keeps tripping us all up.”
“Is that why I’m here then?”
“Yes. Something went astray today, something I hadn’t foreseen. I had to step in because to not do so would mean your untimely death.”
“By whose hand?”
Naboo shuffles his stool a little closer to Vince. “Tell me Deputy, have you worked out who killed Lance Parrot yet?”
“Bainbridge.”
“Moon.”
“I was about to come and find you.”
“To ask if I had anything to do with the disappearance of your Deputy it seems.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Not at all?”
“No.”
“Oh.” Howard breathes in deeply through his nose before exhaling noisily.
“What about Fossil?”
“You’ve lost him too Moon? How very careless of you.”
“Have you taken Bobby Fossil?”
“Fossil works for me.”
“No, Fossil works for the bank.”
“And the bank works for me.”
“It’s meant to work for the town.”
“Semantics.”
“So?”
“So what?”
“Have you taken him?”
“If you mean Fossil then he’s quite safe.”
“You took him from the jail cell?”
“Actually no, he wasn’t in the cell.”
“But you were at my jail. Why were you at my jail?”
“I came to see how my friend was faring. I really didn’t think he would be doing too well under lock and key and it seems I was right. When I got there he was wandering about your veranda like a lost puppy. I merely guided him home.”
“He wasn’t at his home.”
“My home.”
“Where you can keep an eye on him.”
“Where I can look after him. Bobby’s gone through quite a traumatic time you know, what with being arrested and falsely accused of murder and such. He needs my support.”
“He needs nothing less.”
“So cynical Sheriff.”
“I’d like to see him.”
“Who?”
“Fossil.”
“I’m afraid that isn’t possible right now. Bobby’s, how should I say, otherwise engaged.”
“Bainbridge if you’ve…”
“If I’ve what? If I’ve murdered him, slaughtered him, cut his throat and left him to die by the railroad. Is that what you were going to say? You’re so goddamn predictable Moon.”
“That’s because you’re so goddamn malicious you son-of-a-bitch.”
“Sticks and stones Sheriff.”
Howard shakes with anger. “I swear Bainbridge, if you’ve harmed Vince or done anything to Bobby!”
“There you go again, always swearing this, that and the other. I told you Bobby is fine and as for your precious Deputy, well I haven’t seen him or his stupid hair since yesterday. When I got to the jailhouse it was empty, aside from Fossil meandering about outside. I assumed you were both helping fight that terrible fire that broke out at the theatre. What a shame that is.”
Howard grunts. The glint in the Mayor’s eye tells him that he knows all about ‘that terrible fire’, but the bit about Vince, about him not knowing where he is, Howard actually believes him about that. Bainbridge wouldn’t come out and say the jailhouse was empty to cover his tracks. No, if he’d taken Vince then he’d play with Howard, drop him clues and vindictive asides. It wasn’t his style to be so blunt.
Howard turns back around to face the mirror. “Okay.”
“Okay. Is that it?”
“Bainbridge if you say you don’t have Vince then I guess you don’t have Vince. I dunno, maybe he skipped town.”
“Hmm maybe.”
Howard catches Dixon’s eyes in the mirror. “What do you mean maybe?”
“Oh nothing.”
The men glare at each other before the Mayor finally takes a step backwards. “Well if I can be of any further assistance you know where to find me Sheriff.”
“I certainly do Mayor, and don’t you worry, if I need to I will definitely come get you.”
“Good.”
“Fine.”
“Good day Sheriff.” The Mayor sweeps out of the restroom.
Howard stands in front of the mirror for a good few minutes staring at his reflection, hands gripping the sides of the cabinet below, knuckles white and eyes glazed cold as the adrenalin starts to ebb and his fears start to return.
What the hell was he supposed to do now?
Dixon Bainbridge’s rooms above The Salty Bullet are a confusing maze of boudoirs and offices and adjoining doors designed to make any visitor feel uncomfortable and disoriented. They are also a very effective means of hiding secrets and other things away from prying lawmens’ eyes. It is to one of these things the Mayor hurries now, brushing aside the attentions of a scantily clad woman on the way, a woman he vaguely remembers is called Candy or Sandy or Brandy. It didn’t really matter, these women are a dime-a-dozen to him.
He walks through his office and into a less formal, richly embellished room, a place where meetings are conducted with a quality brandy and a cigar. He continues over to the corner and folds aside a red velvet drape to reveal yet another door. Reaching into his pocket he removes a small bunch of keys and slips one of them into the keyhole.
The room he enters is of stark contrast to its neighbour. For a start there’s no window, just a metal gridded hole in the roof that lets in light but little air. As a result the room is stuffy and rather unpleasant on the nose.
In the centre of the room is a wooden table about the length of a man and not much wider. Four leather straps are nailed to each corner and reddish-brown stains scar the surface like something from the history books on Tudor torture techniques. Bainbridge did think that King Henry the Eighth was one of the greatest men to have ever lived, a man who took no shit and demanded the respect and loyalty of everyone around him. Nobody messed with Henry, nobody dared.
There are more straps on the far wall, but they’re currently unoccupied too. The bench on the right hand side however houses a very sorry looking Bobby Fossil. The bank manager leaps to his feet as soon as Dixon enters.
“Mayor Bainbridge sir, please sir, I didn’t tell them anything, well only that I had the knife but they knew that already, but they don’t have it, I haven’t given it to them yet, I can deny saying it, I’ll give it to you, please Mayor Bainbridge, please, I’ll take it to you…”
Bainbridge knees Bobby once in the privates and he drops like a bag of stones, writhing about on the floor. The Mayor leans over him and grabs his collar, hoisting him back to standing and pulling his face an inch away from his own.
“Now you listen to me you sniveling sack of shit, I couldn’t give a toss about the knife. All that proves is that you’re a fucking imbecile. You will tell me where you’ve hidden it, but right now I want you to tell me something else. I want you to tell me what happened at the jailhouse before I found you.”
“I told you I didn’t say anything.”
“Not what you said fool, what happened. Why weren’t you in a cell?”
“The Deputy let me out.”
“Of your cell.”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
Bobby hesitates before answering. “He wanted me to take him somewhere.”
“Where?”
“To see your magic man.”
“My magic man? What the fuck? How the hell does he know about my magic man?”
Bainbridge twists Fossil’s shirt collar tighter. “He made me tell him. He said he’d let me go if I told him. I’m sorry Mr. Bainbridge, I didn’t know what to do. He kept asking who killed Mr. Parrot and I panicked because I didn’t want to tell him that. I knew you’d be cross at that so I told him something else instead.”
“You fucking idiot.”
Bainbridge raises his fist as if to pound it into Fossil’s face, but he stops himself. As much as he wants to smash something he doesn’t want Fossil unconscious. He lowers his fist and shakes the bank manager hard instead.
“What happened to the Deputy?”
“I dunno.”
“Think man.”
“Really I dunno. One minute he was undoing the cell door, the next there’s a swooshing sound and a strange smell and a bright light. And then I woke up outside.”
“A smell, what kind of smell?”
“Umm like flowers, or like how the ground smells when it rains.”
“Anything else?”
“A sound. A tune I think. Pipes, a tune on pipes. A little melody. It went like this ‘ooh-la-la-la-le-la-le-la-le’. It was kind of pretty actually.”
Bainbridge smiles. “Definitely pipes you say?”
“Yes.”
“And you didn’t see the Deputy again after that?”
“No Mayor Bainbridge sir.”
“What about Sheriff Moon? Does he know about the magic man too?”
Fossil shakes his head. “No. The Deputy was very clear on that. He didn’t want me to tell him.”
“Didn’t he now?”
The smile on Bainbridge’s face spreads into an evil looking grin.
“Well that’s interesting isn’t it? I wonder why that is?”
“I’m not sure if he really believed me.”
“Well believing you is hard at the best of times Fossil.”
Dixon lets go of his hold on Fossil’s collar and starts pacing the room. Bobby waits, nervously wringing the front of his shirt.
“Do you remember Fossil the first time we saw the magic man out in the desert?”
“Yes, we thought he’d got lost from a circus the way he was dressed. He was picking the flowers off a cactus and I tried to help him but got a thorn lodged in my ear flappy bit.”
“Yes, yes, and he helped you pull it out but you were in a right state, all panicking and rolling about.”
“It hurt. I thought my ear had come off.”
“Do you remember what he did Fossil?”
“He played me a song and I felt all happy and calm and sleepy.”
“A song on his…”
“On his little wooden pipes and he… oh…”
The men look directly at each other as the coin finally drops in Bobby’s brain.
“That’s right, a little set of wooden pipes that lulled you into a sleep so that I could get you on the damn horse and back here.”
“So the magic man was at the jailhouse. But why?”
“I’ve no idea, but I’ve got a feeling that if I find the magic man then I’ll find our missing Deputy too.”
“And then what Mister Mayor Sir?”
“Then Fossil I get rid of the meddlesome Sheriff and his fancy-boy sidekick once and for all.”
Vince is slumping against his chains. “Whatzinthaa?”
Naboo lowers the pipe from Vince’s mouth. “Just an herb to make you relax a bit.”
“Izvereegood.”
“Yeah. Are you ready?”
Vince gives Naboo a big sloppy sort of grin.
“Yessssiirr”
“Well you better be ‘cause this is going to hurt. Now open your mouth.”
Vince opens his mouth as wide as he can, giggling the whole time.
“For pity’s sake stop laughing or else you’ll choke.”
Vince snaps his mouth shut again and looks at Naboo with all the innocence he can muster. “Soz. Meisrightnow.”
“Concentrate Vince and remember what I told you. You got to try not to fight it yeah. Your body will want to but you’ve got to let it in, you’ve got to let it do its thing.”
“I will try, will I, I…”
“Open your mouth then.”
“Nabuuuu.”
“Yeah?”
“Franks.”
Naboo smiles at Vince and puts a large dollop of a greenish-grey goo onto the end of the spoon before raising it to the Deputy’s lips. “You won’t be thanking me in a minute Vince.”
Sheriff Moon doesn’t really have a plan so he decides to watch the comings and goings at The Salty Bullet for a bit. He knows Bainbridge has Fossil holed up inside somewhere but knowing isn’t enough. Never has he felt more impotent.
He’d already been back to the jailhouse and scoured every inch of the floor and wall and ceiling for any clue as to what had happened, but the only thing he’d found was a slight powdery substance near the cells. It looked a little like gunpowder, but it was finer and had no taste. There was also a faint lingering smell, something almost floral, but Howard assumed that had been something the Doctor had used on Vince’s injuries. Other than that he’d drawn a blank.
So Howard is sitting now outside the barber shop watching the front of the saloon. If anything he feels sort of numb. Vince is missing and there is absolutely nothing he can do about it. Well he can try raiding every home to see if someone has him, but he can’t see that being a plausible solution to the mystery. And he doesn’t believe for one minute that Vince has run out on him, not with the argument the young man had put up for staying. Besides the train isn’t due until the next morning and all horses are accounted for. Bainbridge doesn’t have him, he is sure of that, and nobody in town remembers seeing Vince after the hanging incident. Even then most hadn’t seen him properly, what with it being dark and him spending most of the time on the ground unconscious. In asking around though Howard had quickly realised that Vince had become the most spoken name on people’s lips. He was a person they felt they knew but had never met. Eleanor and Lucien had told him that they were being bombarded with questions all the time like “Who is he?,” “Where does he come from?” and “Is he the murdering type?” And once Eleanor gave a resounding “No, definitely not!” as an answer to that one the next question the women tended to ask is “So, is he married?”
But all in all none of this was helping Howard establish the whereabouts of Vince.
Jean Claude steps out of the barbers and hands Howard a glass.
“Here Sheriff, to take the edge off.”
“Thanks JC.”
“No problem. You know I don’t mind you sitting here but it’ll be dark soon. Are you going to stay here all night?”
“I don’t know where else to go.”
“Where’s Monty?”
“With Mr. and Mrs. Hopkins. They’re spoiling him a little I think.”
“Good, he’s had quite a shock.”
“Yeah.”
“And you’ve still no idea where Deputy Noir might be?”
“None at all.”
“But you think the Mayor does?”
“Maybe, I’m not sure. Maybe not.”
“I wish I could help more.”
Howard raises his glass. “This is help, thanks.”
“Well there’s more of that so if you fancy coming in at any point.”
“Cheers.”
As Jean Claude re-enters the barbers the tall flame-haired figure of Mr. White exits the saloon. He turns to go right but then stops, shakes his head as if reprimanding himself and instead turns left.
Howard doesn’t call out to him. Instead he backs up into the shadows and watches. Mr. White walks past with his head down and doesn’t see him. He walks right to the end of the street and then turns as if approaching the jailhouse.
Suddenly Howard has an idea.
It takes exactly two minutes and thirty-eight seconds for Naboo’s special goop to start working its way through Vince’s system and exactly two minutes and thirty-nine seconds before Vince starts screaming.
Naboo had only seen the effects of Babolisk Oil once before on his home planet of Xooberon. That had been when the King’s daughter had fallen from her balcony and the King had instructed the shamen to use any means possible to heal her. It had been Kirk who’d suggested the oil and Dennis who’d mixed it into the Princess’ soup. It hadn’t been a pretty sight back then either, and the King and Dennis had nearly gotten into a sword-fight over it. But it had worked and that’s what had mattered in the end.
Still seeing it at work again now Naboo thought maybe he should have just let Vince’s body be. It would have healed itself eventually, there was after all no major damage. But Naboo had chosen the oil because he simply didn’t have the time. Vince was never meant to have gotten himself so damaged in the first place, and being as injured as he was made him too vulnerable and too slow. Plus it made Howard an over-protective jumble of nerves. No, the time of reckoning was close, and if Naboo was going to fix things he at least needed both his main players in top-notch working order.
Vince screams again and strains against the chains. His eyes are screwed up tight in agony and he’s foaming slightly at the mouth, around the cloth Naboo had placed there to stop him from biting his tongue. Sweat is pouring off of him and there’s a funny sort of tinge to his skin. As awful as the sight of Vince is though Naboo smiles. The oil is working.
Howard spots Ralfe White moving alongside the jailhouse and quickly follows him into the shadows. He loses sight of him for a second before he’s suddenly thrown up against the side of the building with a hand around his neck.
“No Mr. White, it’s me, Sheriff Moon.”
Ralfe quickly lets go. “Shit, sorry Sheriff. I didn’t realise.”
Howard smooths himself down. “It’s okay. No harm done. But then I’m not as easy a target as others, am I?”
Ralfe drops his head at the obvious reference to Vince. “That’s why I’m here now Sheriff.”
“To help protect him, I know. Well you’re a little late this time Mr. White. Vince isn’t here.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s missing.”
“What?”
“You didn’t know?”
“No, I, well I’ve been keeping a low profile.”
“I was hoping you could tell me where he might be.”
“Sorry.”
“So you had nothing to do with the fire at the theatre either then?”
“No. God no! I swear I know nothing about that or where Deputy Noir is.”
Howard puts his hand up. “It’s okay, I believe you.
“You really don’t know where the Deputy is then?”
“Not a clue. But there is someone who might be able to help me find him.”
“Who?”
“Mr. White, if Mayor Bainbridge was keeping a person under lock and key just where might he stow them?”
“Easy, in his room.”
“His room, what above the Bullet?”
“Yeah, he has this special little room. He calls it the roasting room. He uses it to force information out of folks if you know what I mean.”
“Right, and how would I get to this roasting room?”
“It’s not that well-hidden, but you need a key to get in.”
“And the key is..?”
“On a steel loop the Mayor keeps on him at all times.”
“In his pocket?”
“Yeah.”
Howard puts his hand on Ralfe’s shoulder. “And tell me Mr. White, realistically speaking, how hard would it be to get a hold of these keys when, say, the Mayor was sleeping?”
Ralfe White nods in understanding. “Is this really going to help you find the Deputy?”
“I think so, yes.”
“Well then getting those keys will be no problem at all.”
Vince has finally stopped screaming and thrashing about. In fact he’s hanging limp now and muttering to himself, his eyes rolling back and forth behind his closed lids. Naboo decides it’s probably safe to unchain him.
He places a load of blankets and cushions below Vince and unfastens his ankles. Then using the little stool he reaches up and uncuffs the young man’s wrists. The Deputy drops like a rag-doll and although Naboo manages to partially catch him the blankets play their part. The little Shaman rearranges Vince into a comfortable position on the floor, grabbing more pillows and furs to further cushion his body from the hard ground. By the time he’s done he’s breathing hard. It’s about time he got himself a familiar he thinks. Something strong that can help him with the heavy lifting. Physical work just isn’t his forte.
He turns Vince onto his side and lays his hand on the Deputy’s forehead. The skin feels icy cold now, and Vince is shivering hard, his teeth rattling against each other. Naboo folds more blankets around him and backs away knowing that this is the last of the Babolisk Oil’s side-effects. He pulls up the little stool and produces from his pocket his pipe. He packs it with some strong smelling leaves, lights it and settles himself for the night, watching over Vince like some sort of gnome-like guardian angel.
Howard waits a good two hours after closing time before he arms himself with a couple of guns and makes his way to the back of The Salty Bullet. The saloon is in darkness. With a little difficulty he manages to squeeze himself beneath a set of stairs to await the success or failure of Ralfe White.
He’s semi-dozing when the soft pad of footsteps on the stairs brings him to his senses. His hand hovers above his holster.
“Sheriff?” Ralfe White whispers into the gloom and Howard slowly emerges from his hiding place, his eyes the whole time focused on the upstairs balcony to make sure they are alone.
“Over here.”
Ralfe joins Howard and holds up a set of keys.
“Piece of cake.”
“And he definitely didn’t see you? I don’t want to be walking into a trap.”
Howard knows that keys or no keys the threat of a trap is very real. If Ralfe has told Bainbridge earlier, has double-crossed him or has been caught with the keys, well then the Mayor will be there waiting, no doubt about it. He could shoot him as a trespasser or burglar. It would be oh so simple to explain away. In his head he could hear Bainbridge now – “I had no idea it was the Sheriff, Mr. Judge Sir, it was dark and I saw a figure in my room. I thought I was in danger so I shot first…” Yes, that trap would be so easy to spring.
Yet for some reason Howard trusts Ralfe White. Oh he still can’t find it in himself to forgive, after all the man is partly responsible for the near death of Vince, but strangely enough he does trust him. Ralfe really seems keen to make amends and Howard sees nothing in the man’s eyes to suggest otherwise. Plus the only thing Howard can put his faith into right now is his gut instinct. With no clues as to Vince’s whereabouts, and no easy access to Bobby Fossil, gut instinct and trust in Ralfe are all he has to rely on.
“You okay Sheriff?”
Howard realises he must have zoned out for a few seconds. “Yeah, I’m fine. So where is Bainbridge now?”
“Dead to the world in his bedroom. One of the girls is in his bed with him. He won’t be up until the morning.”
“The Piper Twins?”
“Same, except they’ve got about four girls with them. They’re downstairs though so they won’t even know you’re up there.”
“And Fossil’s definitely in that far room?”
“The roasting room? Yes he is. The Mayor has absolutely no idea I’ve been helping you that’s for sure because he was telling me about grabbing him from the jailhouse. Besides I got caught in the middle of the Twins arguing about which was going to fetch him his dinner, and I heard when Bainbridge went to check on him to make sure the twerp hadn’t done anything stupid.”
“Anything stupid?”
Ralfe nods. “Fossil has a habit of freaking out when he’s stressed, hitting his head against the wall, running around naked, insane dancing, that kind of thing.”
“Oh, right.” Howard frowns at this new snippet of information.
“Don’t worry Sheriff he’s fine right now, completely compos mentis. Well as much as Fossil is ever really sane.”
“And I go right through to a red curtain?”
“Yep, like I said earlier, it’s not that well-hidden.” Ralfe holds up one key from the set. “This is the one that’ll get you in.”
Howard takes the keys. “And where should I put them when I’m done?”
“I left The Mayor’s bedroom door ajar. There’s a chair just inside and I put his pants across it. Simply reach through and drop the keys there. Don’t push the door though else it will creak.”
“Won’t he notice that his pants and keys aren’t where he left them?”
“He was drunk and sated to sleep by sex. He won’t remember a thing.”
Howard puts his hand out towards Ralfe as a peace offering and a gesture of thanks. Ralfe takes it firmly.
“You’ve done very well Mr. White. I won’t keep you any longer.”
“Thank you Sheriff, but remember please that I have a family to protect. If it gets out that I helped you with this…”
“It won’t come from me Mr. White. If he catches me inside I’ll say that I broke in and stole the keys myself. I promise your name will not come up.”
Ralfe gives Howard’s hand one more shake before moving swiftly away into the shadows. It dawns on Howard then that the trust between them is very much a two-way thing.
Every creak, every groan makes Howard freeze and hold his breath. He’s already passed Dixon Bainbridge’s bedroom and risked a quick peek through the door. The snoring of both occupants had helped him further marshal his courage, but he wasn’t going to hurry along to the roasting room regardless. Instead he creeps furtively on, placing one foot gingerly in front of the other until he finally reaches the red curtain situated exactly where Ralfe White had said it would be. Now all he hopes is that he and Fossil can talk without the bank manager freaking out.
Howard turns the key until the lock softly clicks, and pushes the door slowly open. There’s a little light coming from above and he can make out the form of Bobby Fossil curled up asleep on a cot by the right-hand wall. The room is empty except for a table in the centre. Howard closes the door behind him and creeps across to Bobby’s side. He kneels down and clamps his hand to Bobby’s mouth immediately making the bank manager shoot awake in alarm, eyes madly wide with fear and fingers scratching at Howard’s arms.
“Ssshhhh Fossil. It’s me, Sheriff Moon.”
Bobby continues to struggle so Howard leans further against him, completely overpowering him with his size. “Calm down man, it’s me, the Sheriff.”
Bobby suddenly stills. He gazes up at Howard no longer in fear but in pure amazement.
“I’m going to take my hand away now Fossil. You’re not going to shout out or anything are you?”
Beneath Howard’s palm Bobby shakes his head from side to side.
“Do you promise because I’d hate for you to make a noise. I won’t be responsible for my actions if you yell or scream.”
Bobby shakes his head again and Howard cautiously removes his hand. He helps Bobby sit up.
“What are you doing here? Did Mayor Bainbridge put you in here too?”
“No, I’ve come to talk to you. The Mayor doesn’t know I’m here.”
“But he’ll kill you if he finds you.”
“I’m hoping that won’t happen.”
“Are you here to arrest me again?”
Howard puts his hand on Bobby’s arm. Bobby flinches at the touch, clearly still very scared of the larger man. Howard needs to get him onside, and fast.
He thinks back to the interactions at the jailhouse and quick as a flash it comes to him. Fossil’s concern about Vince has been evident from the beginning. The bank manager has obviously taken a liking to his Deputy. Howard can understand why, it was hard not to. Actually, come to think of it, all of his friends and acquaintances had taken to his Deputy in a similar manner. Vince certainly had an understated charisma about him. In fact it was this charisma that had already helped save the young man’s life. Howard knew he could use it again here.
“Foss…err…Bobby, I need to ask you about Vince.”
“Is he still missing?”
“You know about that?”
“Mayor Bainbridge asked me about it.”
“Did he?”
“He wanted to know what happened.”
“And what did happen Bobby?” Howard tenses on the edge of the bed, wanting and yet not wanting to hear Bobby’s story.
Bobby tenses too, unsure of how to proceed. Eventually he speaks. “If I tell you then you’ll save Vince won’t you.”
It’s a statement, not a question. Bobby continues, “I mean you saved him from the Mayor last time so you can do it again.”
Howard feels the pulse in his neck throb but he fights to remain calm. “Is Vince in danger?”
“Not yet, but he will be in the morning.”
“Why the morning?”
“Because Mr. Bainbridge knows where he is now and he’s going to go and get him and I don’t think he’s going to let him live this time.”
Howard fingers twist the edge of a blanket. “Bobby, I can save Vince. I can go now and get him and save him from Bainbridge but you’ve got to tell me where he is.”
Bobby turns to look at Howard. “I’ll take you.”
“What? No, you can’t. You have to stay here. It’s more dangerous if you leave.”
Bobby’s expression turns grave. “Mister Sheriff Moon, I know I’m not a smart man, but I’m smart enough to realise that the Mayor is only keeping me alive whilst I’m useful to him. I thought he was my friend but Vince showed me that friends don’t treat each other like this.”
Howard smiles sadly. “Well Vince is right. Bainbridge doesn’t treat you like a friend. He never has.”
“So I can come with you then? We can leave straight away. I know where Vince is and I think I know how to find it.”
“You think you know! Bobby, where the hell is he? Just tell me already.”
“He’s in a cave in the desert.”
“A cave. Did Bainbridge put him there?”
“No, like I said Bainbridge didn’t know where he was until this evening either, but he worked it out.”
“So what’s Vince doing in the desert? Who’s with him?”
“He’s with the magic man.”
Howard just stares at Bobby. He doesn’t respond. He just stares.
“Sheriff?”
Howard eventually shakes his head. He’d made a terrible misjudgment thinking Bobby could help him. The bank manager had clearly lost his mind. Howard shakes his head again.
“Sheriff, are you okay?”
“Tell me again Bobby, and tell me the truth. Where is Vince?”
“I told you, he’s with the magic man in a cave in the desert.”
Howard looks to the ground and rubs his eyes. He suddenly feels so much older than his years. All the running around, the stress, the fatigue and now this, sitting in a megalomaniac’s torture chamber questioning a man who’s clearly deranged about the whereabouts of someone it’s taken him less than four days to fall in love with. Exactly how had he gotten here?
Howard stands and starts to walk towards the door, his shoulders slumped in defeat.
Bobby jumps up too and places himself between the Sheriff and the exit. “I know you don’t believe me.”
Howard sighs. “Whatever gave you that idea Bobby?”
He goes to push Bobby aside but the smaller man holds his ground.
“No, you can’t go, I swear I’m telling you the truth. I told Vince too. That’s why he let me out of the cell before he was taken.”
Howard looks up, interest slightly re-piqued. “Explain yourself.”
“I told Vince about the magic man and he didn’t really believe me either, but he agreed to let me take him.”
“Vince would have told me.”
“No, he didn’t want to until he knew it was real. After the Doctor left he let me out of the cell. He wanted to hurry before you came back. He was going to leave you a note or something, but then there was a bright light and I fell asleep and when I woke up Vince was gone and the Mayor was at the jailhouse with the Piper Twins.”
Howard puts his hands on Bobby’s shoulders and gives him a little shake. “How the hell can I possibly believe any of that?”
“Because it’s true and because I’ve no reason to lie and because I can show you.”
Howard stares at Bobby again. His mind had already been over every possible scenario involving what could have happened to Vince, but for some reason being abducted by a magic man and taken to a cave in the desert hadn’t been one of them.
He shakes Bobby again, but Bobby smiles at him. “I promise Sheriff I’m not lying. Mister Bainbridge knows about the magic man too. He’s visited him a few times now. I don’t know why but the Mayor seems a bit scared of him actually. I suspect that’s because of the magic though.”
“When you say magic do you mean card tricks and such?”
“No, I mean real magic, like a wizard or something.”
Howard closes his eyes. He has one choice to make, he walks out and heads back to the jailhouse, or he walks out with Fossil and goes on a crazy quest into the desert to find a magic man in the dead of the night.
“How far away is the cave?”
“Not far, but we’ll need horses.”
“And you can find it in the dark?”
“It’s quite easy, follow the railroad until the lake then follow the stream until the cactus clump.”
“And then?”
“Then I’ll show you.”
Howard bites his lip before finally nodding. “Okay then Bobby, you’re on. We’ve got to get out of here first though, nice and quiet yeah.”
“I’ll be like a mouse.”
“And you promise to take me straight to Vince?”
“As quickly as I can.”
Howard nods again before ushering Bobby out of the room and relocking the door behind him.
It takes Vince’s brain a good couple of minutes to remember where he is before it manages to tell his eyes to open. He rolls over onto his side and blinks away the last veils of sleep. He is surprised to see Naboo sitting quietly by his side on the little wooden stool.
“How are you feeling?”
Vince runs his tongue around his mouth. It feels sticky and dry as if he’d been yelling all night at one of his band’s performances. He scrapes his hair away from his face and wipes his forehead on his sleeve.
“How should I be feeling?”
“Well right now you’re probably in need of some food and water, but give it a little while, and a good wash, and you should feel brand new.”
“How long was I out?”
“Not too long. The sun’s just come up.”
Naboo stands and shuffles away into the corner.
Vince rolls onto his back and stretches his muscles. He waits for the stabbing twinge to pass through his stomach and ribs but there’s nothing. He rubs his back into the pelts below him and again feels nothing. Slowly he gathers up the edges of his shirt and lifts the material away from himself. There’s not a bruise to be seen.
“Wow.”
Naboo shuffles back to Vince’s side and hands him a bowl. “Here, you must get your strength back.”
“But the bruises, they’re all gone.”
“That is what I said would happen. Now eat.” Naboo shakes the bowl but Vince is still staring at his perfectly pale and unblemished midriff.
“I can’t believe it. It’s a bloody miracle. I can’t believe it.”
“It’s not a miracle, it’s Babolisk Oil. Eat!”
“But you could sell this Naboo. You’d make a fortune. A cure for everything. Does it do deep wounds too like when a bull gets you right through with his horns? Or what about broken bones? Or bullet holes?”
Vince looks up at Naboo, his bright eyes wide in exuberance. “What about knife slashes?”
Naboo meets Vince’s eyes. There’s a rakish gleam sparkling in the blue, a gleam that makes the Shaman feel both paternally protective and soft and squidgy in his centre. The kid oozes both charm and vulnerability. It’s a near exquisite combination.
Naboo shakes the dish at Vince again. “Eat!”
Vince takes the bowl from Naboo’s hand and starts tucking into the contents. “Honestly though you could sell the stuff. What did you call it? B something Oil? It would be worth way more than any gold. You could become rich overnight. Heck you could do anything you liked. Buy a town, two towns. By a saloon. That would be genius. Me and my mates could play in the band every night. We could put flyers up everywhere. And it wouldn’t be a scuzzy saloon like the Bullet, it would be proper with decent beer and friendly faces and we could showcase new bands and Monty could do some acting and Howard could help with security and, cuch, and, cuuchhcucch, and….”
Naboo pats Vince on the back. “Calm down, you’ll choke yourself.”
Vince’s eyes are watering but he smiles at Naboo regardless. “You could do anything and yet you live in a cave.”
“I’m not here to get rich, I’m here to help you and Howard.”
“Maybe getting rich is how you help me and Howard.”
Naboo frowns at the thought. Could it be… no! That would be wrong somehow. “I don’t think that would work.”
“Why not? We’d all be happy and we’d all be together. You could stay on Earth forever. We could all live in the saloon. It would be great.”
“I don’t think so.”
“But why not?”
“Because you have to…” Naboo stops himself before he says anymore.
“Because I have to, what?”
“Just eat your food.”
“I have to know, what Naboo?”
Naboo turns his back and walks away.
“What were you going to say? What do I have to do? Naboo?!”
Vince is about to stand and chase Naboo into the darkness when from outside there’s the sudden sound of hooves, the shouts of ‘whoa’ and the distinct crunch of boots hitting the ground as riders dismount. Naboo comes rushing back out of the shadows to stand at Vince’s side.
“Bollocks!”
“Who is it?”
“How the hell am I supposed to know, I’m here with you.”
“I thought you knew loads of stuff.”
“I do know stuff but not this stuff.”
“What are we gonna do?”
“Umm, hide.”
“Hide? Haven’t you got like a spell or something?”
“No I haven’t got like a spell or something.”
“Crap.” Both men start spinning around on the spot looking for somewhere, anywhere to conceal themselves when,
“Vince! Vince! Are you in there Vince?”
“Shhh, you don’t want to upset the magic man Sheriff.”
“I don’t care about the magic man, I’m here for Vince. VINCE! Are you here Vince?”
All of a sudden Vince comes flying out of the cave mouth, launching himself at Howard and wrapping his arms tightly around his middle. The Sheriff freezes somewhat in shock before returning the embrace as tightly as it is given.
“Howard!”
“Vince, oh thank god. I’ve been worried sick little man. What the hell are you doing all the way out here?”
Vince lifts his head, his eyes shining bright with glee. “You’re never going to believe it but I was brought out here by a Shaman. And he’s fixed me Howard, look!”
Vince lifts the front of his shirt for Howard to see. The Sheriff is as much astonished by the unbruised nature of Vince’s body as he is aroused by the reunion and the dark trail of hair leading to the waistband of Vince’s trousers. He grabs Vince’s face suddenly between his large hands and places his mouth forcefully onto the Deputy’s. Vince squeals in surprise before softening beneath Howard’s lips and returning the kiss with vigour. Naboo, standing at the entrance to his cave, shakes his head and looks away. Bobby Fossil just stares, his chin nearly on the floor.
Howard and Vince separate and look around themselves, embarrassed somewhat by the force of their passion. Vince smiles coyly. “Hi Bobby.”
Bobby remembers to breathe and clamps his mouth shut. Howard walks over to him.
“I’m sorry if we shocked you there Bobby. Umm, it’s just, well we, umm…”
Vince joins them. “What Howard is trying to say Bobby is that we’re a little more than friends.”
Bobby stares at Vince and then Howard and then Vince. Vince speaks again, “Bobby, did you help Howard to find me?”
“Yeah.”
“Then thank you for that.”
“Yeah.”
“And are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“I understand that this must be a bit startling for you.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah.”
Vince and Howard look at each other before taking hold of Bobby’s arms and walking him towards the cave and Naboo.
Howard nods a greeting towards the small turbaned figure. “You must be Bobby’s magic man.”
“I am Naboo. I am nobody’s man. I am a shaman.”
“A shaman? Aren’t they made-up make-believe characters from books?”
Naboo tuts and walks back inside his cave.
Howard frowns in confusion and looks at Vince. “Is he actually a shaman?”
“I think so Howard yes. He really did cure me you know. And he knows some stuff about us.”
“What about us?”
Vince goes to speak but then bites at his bottom lip instead.
“Vince?”
“I’m not sure Howard. It’s all a bit weird really. I think maybe Naboo would be better telling you himself.”
“But you believe him?”
“I dunno, but he didn’t only cure me Howard, I think he saved my life.”
“When?”
“Back at the jailhouse. He said I was about to be killed and that he had to swoop in and save me before that happened. He said he brought me here on a flying carpet. Imagine that, a carpet that flies.”
Howard screws his features up. “He could have totally made that up.”
“I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous doesn’t it, but there’s something about him. Something that makes sense about him in all this madness. And there’s another thing.”
“What?”
“I think he knows a bit about our future, but he doesn’t want to say too much.”
“Good, because I don’t want to know.”
“You don’t?”
“No!”
“But what if it’s important to know? What if it saves our lives?”
“Why would us knowing do that? I’m too young to die and so are you. We’ve years in us Vince. We’ve so much more to give.”
“But what if something were to happen?”
Howard lets go of Bobby’s arm for a moment to put his hand on Vince’s shoulder instead. He squeezes it. “I promise this is the last time I will lose you. We’re going straight back to Moonstone, we’re going to pack a bag and we’re getting out of this town. I’m through with it. All this has made me realise what’s important, and what’s important is you now. I can’t risk you getting hurt because of some foolish quest of mine. Let Bainbridge rot at the Bullet, I don’t care. If I never see his pig-stinking face again it will be too soon.”
Vince eyes widen with amazement. “But what about Monty?”
“The theatre’s been burnt down Vince.”
“What?”
“Bainbridge, he burnt it down.”
“Is Monty alright?”
“Yes, but there’s nothing left for him in Moonstone now. He’ll come with us I’m sure.”
“But what about Mr. and Mrs. Hopkins and Sally Glister and Chalky?”
“They can come too.”
“We can’t all go.”
“Of course we can. What’s Bainbridge gonna do? What can he possibly do? Bar our way? Force us back into our homes? I don’t think so. We can just rally up and all walk out of Moonstone together. It’ll be perfect actually. Fitting.”
“Walk out?”
“Walk out Vince.”
“All of us?”
“Yep. We can jump on the next train.”
“And if they won’t come?”
“We give them the opportunity. If they don’t take it then I can do no more. We go anyway.”
“But what about avenging Tommy and catching the murderer?”
“I don’t care anymore Vince. I really don’t care.”
“You can’t mean that.”
“But I do. I’m sorry, but if giving up means keeping you then it’s worth it.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything, just come with me now. We can be out of town within twenty-four hours.”
“Alright Howard, but first hear Naboo out yeah. I dunno, but I’ve got a feeling that it’s not going to be as easy as leaving Moonstone.”
“Have faith little man.”
“I have faith in you Howard, it’s everyone else I doubt.”
Howard gives Vince’s shoulder another squeeze before readjusting his grip on Bobby’s arm. “Lead the way. Now I’m here I might as well listen to what this magic man has to say. If nothing else I want to find out how he knows Bainbridge.”
“Shaman Howard, he’s a shaman, and yes, I haven’t asked him about Bainbridge yet.”
“Well okay then. Let’s go and find out.”
“Owl beaks.”
“What the hell are owl beaks for?”
“Um, well they give the Mayor a certain vigour.”
“Vigour?” There’s a very puzzled expression on Howard’s face, but Vince smiles in understanding.
“Oh you mean…vigour!”
“Yes.”
“I still don’t get it.”
Vince makes a gesture at Howard with his hand and laughs as a blush hits the Sheriff’s cheeks. The Sheriff laughs too though. “Well that’s certainly some information I’ll happily take from this town. I might not be able to bring him to justice, but I’ll always know that.”
Naboo puts his hand up to shush Howard. “What do you mean by take from this town?”
“I’m leaving. Well we’re leaving actually. Today if we can, but tomorrow’s more realistic.”
Vince is nodding enthusiastically by Howard’s side. “We’re going to try and take the whole town with us Naboo. It’ll be brilliant. Can you imagine Bainbridge’s face when we all stroll on out.”
“You can never leave!”
“What?”
“You can never leave, Moonstone that is. You can try but you’ll always end up back here.”
Vince looks at Howard, a worried expression on his face. Howard shakes his head. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course we can leave. We’ll get on a train.”
“I tell you, you can get on a train, a horse, an aeroplane it will make no difference, you can’t leave.”
“An air – o – what?”
“Plane. Look trust me on this, you’d be wasting your efforts.”
Howard stares hard at the Shaman before turning to Vince for a second opinion.
“I told you it wasn’t gonna be that easy Howard.”
“Hang on a minute Vince, what makes you think he’s right?”
“Why have you got any reason to doubt him? He healed me and he saved my life and why else would the Shaman council have sent him to help us.”
“You believe that too?”
“Yeah Howard, I do.”
Howard turns back to Naboo. “We’re still going to try.”
Naboo shrugs.
“We are!”
Naboo stares calmly back at him, his lips puckered around the stem of his pipe.
“Oh for fucks sake!” Howard stands and strides towards the mouth of the cave. He steps outside and puts his hand and forehead against the warm stone. Vince rushes after him. He moves up close to his side, gives Howard’s back a firm rub and rests his chin on the Sheriff’s shoulder.
“Come on Howard, it’s alright. We can still give it a go. Look, even if Naboo’s right it’s gotta be worth trying if only to get everyone else out. If we can’t do it for ourselves we’ll do it for Monty yeah?”
Howard opens his eyes and looks sideways at his Deputy. He feels the familiar rush of warmth through his body as he makes eye contact, and gently reaches across to lay a fingertip on Vince lips. Vince kisses it instinctively before pulling Howard into a hug, resting his cheek against the Sheriff’s chest. Howard wraps his arms tightly around him.
“I was really worried you know Vince.”
“When you couldn’t find me?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault little man, and I’m really glad Naboo did bring you here, but I wish he’d have left me a note or something.”
“I was going to leave you a note.”
“I know, Bobby told me.”
“Do you think Bobby’s going to be alright Howard?”
“Not sure. He seems pretty shocked by the whole thing. Maybe everything’s finally caught up with him.”
“Has it caught up with you yet?”
“I dunno Vince. I hardly feel like me anymore.”
Vince nods in agreement.
The two of them stand holding each other in silence for a bit, rocking each other ever so slightly. Vince nuzzles further into Howard’s shirt and closes his eyes.
Howard can’t relax so easily. He stares across the top of Vince’s head out to the horizon, a deep frown set on his brow. How is he supposed to accept everything Naboo has told him? Everything about it is preposterous in the extreme. He is a simple man, a god-fearing and fairly law abiding man. He’s never questioned his life, well not really. He’s been dealt a tough hand sure, but he’s never thought himself particularly special. So how is he supposed to accept that the whole universe (he is still getting his head around that one) is being affected by his actions? When exactly had things become so goddamn mystically complicated? All this talk about soul mates and other planets and shaman councils and predestined futures, it didn’t make the slightest bit of sense.
Howard feels Vince sigh deeply against him and he kisses the top of the shorter man’s head. “Are you scared Vince?”
“Of what?”
“Of what Naboo said about our love putting us both at risk.”
“Well we’ve already been through a fair amount already and we’ve survived haven’t we?”
“Yes, but what if it gets worse?”
“Well I don’t think our love will be easily accepted by many people Howard. Two men isn’t exactly the norm now is it whatever town we live in? I think we’ll always be a bit at risk.”
“But Naboo meant something more than that didn’t he? This thing about the universe needing us to be together.”
“Else it will explode or something?”
“Yeah that stuff, and the bit about someone or something trying to keep us apart.”
“Why would someone want to do that? Why does someone want to hurt everyone and everything everywhere?”
“Why do people do anything horrible Vince? Why did The Piper Twins beat you up? Why did Bainbridge burn Monty’s theatre down? Why did someone kill Lance Parrot?”
Vince shrugs and looks up at Howard. “But Naboo said we had to be together though didn’t he, that we had to stay together whatever happens. And that even the universe itself is trying everything to help keep us together and that we’d best not argue with it.”
“I don’t like the idea that we’re being controlled, either positively or negatively.”
“Neither do I, but you’ve got to admit there’s something special between us.”
“That I do not deny Vince.”
“And that whether we’re being a bit controlled or not, that nothing feels as right as when you kiss me.”
“Is that true?”
“It’s my truth Howard.”
“Well I guess we’d better go along with the universe for the moment then hadn’t we?”
Howard bends, tilting Vince’s head as he does so and gaining himself full access to Vince’s neck. He notes the perfectly pale skin, stubbled but unmarked now by rope burns, and he hungrily applies his lips to Vince’s pulse point. Vince tips his head back further and plunges his hands into Howard’s hair, pulling them tighter together and screwing his eyes shut in pleasure. His pulse quickens and Howard, feeling it beneath his mouth, responds by spinning them both around and pushing Vince up against the outer wall of the cave. He jams his thigh forcefully between Vince’s legs and pushes upward enough so that Vince has no choice but to straddle it. It makes the smaller man sag against him in need and grab at Howard’s clothing. The Sheriff moves his thigh upward again and Vince groans so loud he forces Howard to quickly quieten him with a deep kiss, muffling the Deputy’s desire with his own heavy breathing and talented tongue. Vince grabs at the back of Howard’s neck and shoulders, pulling him even closer, and grinding himself roughly against Howard’s upper leg, his arousal clearly evident. Howard can feel himself growing rapidly too, and as much as he wants to have his way with Vince right there he’s very aware that it is hardly the time or the place.
Reluctantly Howard pulls back.
“Fuck!”
“Fuck is right. I’m hard as this rock Howard.”
“I know, I’m sorry, I got a bit carried away.”
“Shit.”
Howard’s enthralled by the rapid rise and fall of Vince’s chest, of the bulge in his trousers, of his mouth hanging open and by his reddened lips. ‘I did that’ he thinks to himself, and he feels the tingle rush again to his groin. He almost cedes to his longing to re-kiss Vince, and to the image of pushing him back against the wall and tearing his clothes off, but somehow he manages to close his eyes and take a few long breaths instead. When he opens then he sees Vince is doing the same.
“You gonna be alright?”
Vince opens his eyes, the blue of them dazzling Howard more than the desert sun. “By alright do you mean can I calm myself and my privates down and successfully walk back inside as if nothing has happened?”
“Um yeah.”
“I think so Howard, but you’ve got to promise to do that again to me later.”
Howard smiles. “Okay then, it’s a deal. We should think about heading back to town anyway. We need to talk to everybody about leaving tomorrow. We need to hear what they think about it.”
“What about Bobby?”
“Maybe it’s best if he stays here for tonight. We could get Naboo to bring him to the station tomorrow. I don’t want to leave Moonstone without him, and then if Naboo wants to he can come too.”
“And what do we tell Mrs. Parrot?”
Howard stalls. He hadn’t really thought about her. “That can’t be helped I’m afraid Vince. She can certainly come if she likes, but somehow I doubt she will. When we get out of here we can put the case as it stands to a judge, let the law decide how it wants to proceed.”
“But Bobby still knows the killer Howard. Maybe we should force him to tell us now.”
“You can’t.” Naboo’s voice from the entrance makes them both jump.
“What? Why not?”
“He’s, how should I put this? Well he’s a bit vague on that period.”
“Vague?”
“He’s forgotten.”
“But how? And how do you know?”
“Because whilst you two were out here fondling each other I was trying to get to the bottom of this mystery.”
Naboo smiles directly at Vince. “I see you won’t be needing owl beaks any time soon then.”
Vince whips his hat from his head and holds it in front of him. Howard looks guiltily at the ground.
Naboo grins a sort of lopsided toothy grin at both of them. “No need to be embarrassed gentleman, that’s exactly what the universe needs.”
Howard clears his throat, keen to change the subject. “You were talking about Bobby?”
“Oh yeah, well he seems to have lost his memory.”
“How?”
“You two kissing probably didn’t help. I don’t know. I think it’s probably some sort of post-traumatic stress amnesia. Well that, or the fact I gave him a puff on my pipe. It might have been a bit strong, it’s hard to judge with you humans. Either way he seems to have forgotten everything since last week.”
“Shit, you’re kidding!” Howard slaps the wall in frustration.
“Naboo, do you really not know who killed Lance?”
“No, I told you Vince it was never meant to happen. Some event or someone triggered it.”
“Well Bainbridge organised it. We know that.”
“No, Bainbridge organised the knife. We don’t know if he meant for him to be murdered.”
“What? But surely…” Howard stumbles as the idea takes root in his mind, “…well I suppose that could be the case. But then why threaten Lance at all?”
“Why ever threaten someone?”
“To keep them in line.”
Vince pipes up. “It’s like what you said Howard, he was probably murdered because of money or power. Lance stole from you for his family. Maybe he stole from Bainbridge too.”
“And Bainbridge wanted to punish him, to teach him a lesson.”
“But it went wrong and Lance was killed instead.”
“And so Bainbridge knows who killed him, but for whatever reason hasn’t turned him over to us.”
“Which means it’s either someone who works for him anyway or…”
“..It’s someone who Bainbridge can now blackmail.”
“Or maybe someone is blackmailing him. Maybe the murderer is leveraging Bainbridge somehow.”
Howard and Vince look at each other passionately as they feel the thrill of thinking as one pass through them. Naboo nods his head in appreciation.
“I’m not sure if you two are star-crossed or not, but you’re definitely meant to be together, that’s for sure.”
Both men look at the little shaman before Howard throws his arm loosely around Vince’s shoulders.
“And we’d like to stay together if we could please Naboo. So apart from telling us that we can never leave and destroying the brains of my key witness with whatever it is you’re smoking in there, would you kindly give us some advice on how we can help ourselves. I mean the only person I can see that’s trying to keep us apart is Bainbridge. Are you sure he’s not the one you’re looking for.”
“Don’t be soft Howard. Bainbridge is a mere mortal. He’s not got the skills or the strength to go up against the will of the cosmos. Besides he’s not trying to keep you two apart as such, he’s trying to kill Vince.”
“But why kill me?”
“Who knows, he’s an egomaniac. He doesn’t like Howard and he’s got psychopathic tendencies. His reasons for wanting you dead Vince will be simple ones. I can assure you he’s acting out his own personal grievances.”
“So how else are we being kept apart? I don’t see it.”
“That’s because you’re only thinking of the time you’ve been in each other’s company, the last few days if you will. What you’re failing to realise is that you were meant to meet a while ago.”
“When?”
“Exactly when is not important. In fact with all the turbulence it’s impossible to pinpoint, yet believe me it should have happened already. That’s why the pull is so strong between you now. It’s like having finally managed to get you together the universe is making up for lost time. The energy between you, well it’s tangible. It’s both beautiful and almost savage.”
Howard swallows hard. “Naboo, if I’m to believe any of this surely you must understand that I’m going to need some sort of proof. I can’t take your word on something as crazy sounding as that.”
“And even if it were true we’re together now right. Whatever it was has failed. The universe won and we’re here.”
“The proof is standing right next to you and nestled in the chambers of your heart Howard. And Vince yes, I too thought that it was all fixed now, but as I told you yesterday something’s still askew. Whatever it is, it’s still hanging about, and I’ve a feeling that when it finally shows itself it ain’t gonna be pretty.”
Vince leans forward. “Earlier you said I had to do something, you said it as if that something might finish all this and save everyone. What did you mean Naboo, did you mean I had to something dangerous?”
Naboo takes a big puff on his pipe. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’ve already said too much.”
“No, you can’t pull that one on me now. I’ve already nearly died twice so I’ve a right to know if it’s third time and lights out for me.”
“What’s Vince talking about Naboo?” Howard’s turned pale.
Naboo turns his back on them for a moment, fiddling with something he’s pulled from his pocket. A small purple light shoots upwards above his head. Howard and Vince watch it rise until it hits the roof of the cave and vanishes.
Naboo spins back around to face them. “I’ve sent a message to the Board of Shamen asking for help, but it may not come. They’re not the best at time management or multi-tasking.”
“That in no way answers my question!”
“Vince, I’m not saying that it will happen, but yes, there is a chance that you, and Howard, may need to sacrifice yourselves for the sake of the cosmos and every being in it.”
Howard stiffens. “So let me get this straight magic man. Vince and I are fated to be together, so much so that if we’re not then time, space or whatever is put into some sort of peril. We can’t leave Moonstone to help ourselves, but chances are if we stay Bainbridge or one of his lackeys is going to try and murder Vince. Annoying as that is it’s nowhere near as dangerous as the something that’s coming to really try and rip us apart. We don’t know what it is or how it will manifest itself, but when it comes the universe will try and keep the balance, and we’ll be slap bang in the centre of it all barely keeping our footing. And then, to top it all off, we may both have to die regardless.”
“That’s it in a nutshell, yeah. If Bainbridge succeeds in killing Vince and you survive Howard then the universe is effectively screwed and I will have failed in my mission. That’s why I saved him at the jailhouse. But if you can stay alive long enough Vince then the big, unknown enemy will come looking for one of you himself. It doesn’t want you to be together, that’s for sure. Why is still unclear. Clout maybe, greed, boredom. Powerful beings do get bored easily. Or maybe it’s just a massive arsehole!”
“But you’ll be here to help us won’t you Naboo?”
The Shaman looks up into the wide pleading pools of Vince eyes. He sees the fear but sees too the brave determination set within them. The same is present in Howard’s dark glare.
“I promise I will do absolutely everything to keep you safe whilst helping the universe, yes.”
“So you’ll support us then in trying to get us and some of our friends out of Moonstone once and for all.”
Naboo sighs and straightens his turban. “Okay. As much as I think it’s a wasted effort, there is a chance, a small chance that some of the residents will be able to pull clear. I’m not sure which so don’t bother asking me. I also cannot predict what Dixon Bainbridge will do or how he will react, but I suspect that he won’t take it too kindly. For that reason I am happy to keep Bobby for today and tonight, and will see he’s at the station tomorrow morning by eleven.”
Howard gapes.
“But how did you know…”
Vince puts his hand on Howard’s arm. “I find it best not to question it. Let’s do as he says and get back to town.”
“But how can you know so much and yet so little Naboo?”
“I know only what is already written along the predetermined timeline of your lives. These external unknown things that are affecting it mean there are now big black holes where there should be facts.”
“And how far ahead is the next black hole Naboo?”
Naboo looks from one to the other. “Oh, sometime before eleven tomorrow morning.”