Moonstone Cowboy

Come with us now on a journey to… The Wild West and the town of Moonstone. Vince is the cute cowboy with a big heart and an even bigger wardrobe. Howard is the dark and lamenting Sheriff trapped in an emotional cycle of guilt and need. In a world that’s like, but not like, the Boosh we know and love anything can happen (AU). But mostly our lads get in loads of bother. There’s plenty of mature imagery peeps so M+ for sex, violence, hurt/comfort, darkness, slash, angst etc.

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Enclaves

Enclaves

Howard shoots awake and starts to fret before remembering where he is and identifying the weight against his chest.

Vince.

Howard breathes deeply and pulls his deputy tighter against him. Vince sighs in his sleep but does not stir so Howard risks placing a kiss on the top of the younger man’s head before raising his gaze upwards to the ceiling.

After so much pleasure and this much contentment the last thing Howard wants to do is to get on with the rest of the day, or early evening going by the light in the room. He wonders if he can get away with another ten minutes. Heck another twenty. Another hour? Exactly how long does it take to pack up a life anyway?

Vince sighs again and Howard softly strokes his hair to lull him. He knows Vince must be exhausted and doesn’t want him roused yet. The Sheriff smiles to himself. He can’t help it, he feels quite proud. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he’d find someone that would allow him to do what he’d done earlier to Vince. That he’d be able to successfully please another man like that! His smile grows broader as he allows images of Vince in the thrall of passion to sweep across his mind. There is nothing in the world that can take those memories from him, and nothing that could ever stop him from wanting to do it all again. Nothing, he supposes, except death.

He shivers despite the heat being emitted from the smaller body beside him. He doesn’t want to think about it, doesn’t want to go there, but he is Howard Moon. He is an expert at wallowing in dark thoughts. Vince might have brought a huge chunk of the sun into his life, but beneath it all Howard is still a troubled and guilt-ridden soul. He knows the truth of himself, he’s not ignorant of it. And if he somehow manages to put Vince into danger again, well… Howard screws his eyes shut and pulls Vince closer… well he knows he would never be able to live with that.

Howard reopens his eyes and looks down at Vince. The Deputy’s eyelashes are fluttering, but aside from that he looks to be at peace. Howard smiles weakly and looks back to the ceiling. He thinks over what Naboo had told them that morning. It is so incredible a story, so outside of anything he’d ever experienced or could ever fully comprehend that he is scared to try and unravel it. But unravel it he must if he has any hope of regaining some control over the situation. Besides it is not just his own life in the balance here.

So exactly what had Naboo told him that he could understand? That he and Vince are fated to be together? Well, okay then. That their love is not love in the normal sense, but that it is important and necessary to the smooth running of everything that had gone before and is still to come? Howard isn’t so sure about that part. That their love is an intrinsic part of the Universe’s grand design? Honestly, he still isn’t quite sure he understands fully what the universe is. Oh he gets the stars and the moon and stuff, but other worlds with people like him on them! The whole thing sounds so ridiculous, so utterly absurd in his head.

But Howard, Sheriff Howard, is determined to keep going with his deductions.

Someone or something has been messing with the Universe, and is, for some reason, wanting to tip everything off kilter. And it was using him and Vince to do so. Keeping them apart for so many years had stirred up all sorts of problems in the cosmos and had eventually led to the Board of Shamen sending Naboo to help tidy the mess. The Universe along with its little ‘magic man’ had fought back, and he and Vince had finally found each other.

Trouble is this thing, this crazy something, had not simply given up and gone home. Oh no! It is still out there somewhere and as determined as ever to screw everything up for everyone else.

This is what Howard currently knows of the situation. But where does this crazy something start and end, and where does Bainbridge and Lance Parrot’s murder and the whole of Moonstone fit in?

Howard exhales slowly. Surely, as a lawman, and a pretty good one at that, the murder is the one thing he can actually solve in all this. If he can work that out then maybe it would go some way to helping him protect Vince. Howard forces his thoughts in this direction. Yes, if he can somehow sort the facts from the fiction, the nonsensical from the rational then it would certainly quell the foaming tide of trepidation within him. He thinks back over the events of the last few days. He starts to reassess the information in his head and map it all out.

He feels like it had all started when he’d gone to the cemetery to visit Tommy. Vince had been quick to track him down, but not before Bainbridge had beaten him to oblivion and Lance had stolen his clothes. But why had Lance stolen his clothes? Was it really for his family? Howard frowns. Probably. There wasn’t another explanation that made sense. He doubted Bainbridge had instructed it. But Bainbridge must have told Lance to meet someone at the railroad, why else would Lance go? But was the meeting Bainbridge’s idea or the murderer’s?

Howard feels a tightening in his gut, something that always happens when he’s on the brink of knocking pieces into place. To be fair it had been a while since he’d had this feeling, yet it returns to him now like a long lost friend. He takes another deep breath and shuffles carefully up the bed into a more seated posture, cradling Vince’s head as he does so and resettling it on his thigh when he’s comfortable. Vince murmurs, nuzzles his cheek against Howard’s skin and wraps his arm across the Sheriff’s lap before sinking back into slumber. Howard watches him quietly, his large hand resting softly and protectively against Vince’s nape. As Vince re-drifts away Howard moves it to the Deputy’s arm and softly strokes the lower part of Vince’s shoulder with his thumb, the gesture as much to soothe himself as anything.

“Right then,” Howard whispers aloud but very much to himself. He often found vocalising his thoughts helped to sort them. “Let’s run this through. Bainbridge had wanted Lance to meet someone at the railroad. I’m going to call this someone Cutthroat. Why though? Because Bainbridge was going to scare him or run him out of town? Why? Maybe he thought Lance had stolen from him, or maybe it was the murderer’s idea. Had the murderer wanted Lance dead and told Bainbridge to set up the meet. That is more likely than it being Bainbridge’s idea. Why would Bainbridge use such convoluted tactics, he’d just beat Lance into submission or man-handle him onto a train and out of Moonstone. So if Cutthroat set it up the reason behind it could be anything. Maybe Lance knew something he shouldn’t. That would make sense if someone was trying to hide his true self, or his true motives. Okay, so Bobby had also been there with a knife. He’d given the knife to Cutthroat as instructed to by Bainbridge. Fossil, purposely or accidentally, had distracted Lance as Cutthroat had come up behind him and, well, cut his throat.”

Howard pauses as he realises that this means that Bainbridge had organised the knife well before his run in with Howard at the cemetery. “He’d planned it all, way before he knew about Vince. That’s probably why he was at the cemetery the same time as me, he’d gone to tell Lance to be at the railroad. We thought Lance had abandoned his post, but Bainbridge had instructed him to leave. But did Bainbridge know that Lance was going to be murdered?” Howard didn’t think so. Naboo had said as much when he commented that Lance’s death wasn’t supposed to happen. Which meant that Bainbridge was probably as surprised to hear about it as Fossil was to witness it. And if he and Vince were right, if this Cutthroat had some sort of hold over Bainbridge, then no wonder the Mayor was keeping schtum. Not to mention he’d only be implicating himself in the whole affair. Bainbridge must have been smiling really wide when he’d heard about Vince and realised he had an alternative person to pin the killing on, especially after Vince had ran off. Of course he’d neglected to take into account Vince’s instant popularity and the fact that Howard loved him, but for a moment Bainbridge had succeeded in deflecting attention away from himself and from the real Cutthroat.

So Howard understood Bobby Fossil’s part, and could guess at some of Bainbridge’s, but who was Cutthroat, and why did killing Lance help to keep him and Vince apart? But of course it had, from the moment the body had been discovered actually, when Vince had offered to walk Ruby Dalston home. From that moment on it had been a constant struggle for him and Vince to stay in the same room as one another. They had become the unwitting rope in a tug-of-war between fate and foe!

Howard shakes his head. “But this Cutthroat, this cold-blooded murderer, are he and the foe one and the same, or is Cutthroat simply another person being directed?” As of yesterday Howard thought he was looking for a human killer. Today he isn’t so sure. But whether the killer is a manipulated human or a powerful monster with a human face he almost certainly lived amongst them in Moonstone. This meant that he could be identified.

As hard as it is the Sheriff lets his thoughts wander across the faces of the townsfolk. Who is not what they seem? The idea that it is a friend fills him with horror. He wants more than anything for it to be the callous actions of one of Bainbridge’s Boys but no, that doesn’t feel right to him. This type of killing is far from the Piper Twins style, plus being two of them they wouldn’t have needed Bobby’s help. Howard didn’t think Ralfe White had it in him and the rest of Bainbridge’s men seem too coarse to murder so neatly. No burning down theatres and fist fights were more their thing. He couldn’t rule it out completely of course, after all he hardly knew most of them, but something was telling him to look elsewhere.

Howard replays his and Vince’s conversation with Naboo through his head. “And so Bainbridge knows who killed Lance, but for whatever reason hasn’t turned him over to us. Which means it’s either someone who works for him or…it’s someone who Bainbridge can now blackmail.”

But there’s that third ‘or’… “Or it’s someone who scares Bainbridge.”

Someone who scares Bainbridge?

Howard strokes Vince’s cheek. A part of him wishes it is he that is able to scare Bainbridge but he knows that this could never be true. It is far too late for that. Besides he figures as murder suspects go he is the most unlikely candidate being that, you know, he didn’t do it and all. Who else can he rule out? Vince of course. And Monty. Well he reckons the actor scares Bainbridge a little, but a killer, never!

Howard rolls the names of the other townsfolk through his head. Chalky. No, he is too meek. Eleanor and Lucien? Eleanor definitely not, and Lucien seems too indecisive. The Tucker Brothers? Well both are handy with a razor, but this was a knife. He didn’t like it but they are possibilities? Miss Glister? Corky Hamilton? Ruby Dalston? Amos? All of them are totally implausible.

There is one name though, a name that creates in Howard a kind of heavy sinking feeling, a feeling which very much stems from the tightening of his oh so overactive gut instinct.

Doctor Neville Bamshoot!

Howard takes another deep breath and closes his eyes to help remember the Doctor’s involvement in the various incidences of the last four days.

He had been part of the mob that had come to talk to Vince before he ran, but then so had Lucien Hopkins. He had been part of the crowd that had gathered to watch Vince hang, but then so had Chalky. When Ruby Dalston had ran to the street to seek help after finding Lance’s body it was the Doctor she had come across first, but then the Doctor had been chatting with Monty. He was always there, but in a small town that was hardly surprising. Plus he had done a lot to help Vince and Monty. Well at least seemingly. Howard still thought it weird that the Doctor had left Vince alone during the theatre fire saga. That had really annoyed him at the time, yet the Sheriff knows he can’t convict a man on annoyance alone. He had absolutely no evidence what-so-ever that pointed to the town medic except…the Doctor seemed more, well, doctorish of late. Howard felt, that in the recent times, the Doctor had been a little absent. A bit like himself stepping back from sheriffing duties after his trauma the Doctor too had seemed less approachable, less professional, less together. Yet more recently he’d seen a change in the Doctor. He stood up straight again, had his medical swagger back. Howard, like his friends, had noticed, but figured it was none of their business. But…

“Is he whom he seems?”

Beside him Vince murmurs something unintelligible before stretching and slowly opening one eye. Howard smiles down at him and brushes away his fringe. Vince smiles sleepily back.

“You’ve let me nap for far too long Howard.”

“You needed it.”

“And you?”

“I’m okay.”

Vince rolls over onto his front and rests his chin on Howard’s leg. “What are you thinking about?”

“Honestly?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Well I was thinking about Lance’s murder and what we said about it being someone who maybe scares or has power over Bainbridge.”

“It makes a sort of sense doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, but who scares Bainbridge in this town?”

Vince shrugs before pulling himself up the bed to sit next to Howard, pulling the Sheriff’s left arm around his shoulders as he does so and grabbing Howard’s right hand in both of his own. He plays with Howard’s fingers for a few seconds.

“Maybe it’s someone that knows something about Bainbridge, a secret maybe, something from the Mayor’s past.”

Howard brings Vince’s hands up to his lips and plants a small kiss on each before lowering them back to his lap.

“That’s what I’m thinking Vince. If someone was threatening him physically he’d just set the Piper Twins onto them. No, it’s someone with a stronger hold over him than that.”

“Have you any idea Howard?”

The Sheriff turns to look Vince in the eye. “What are your impressions of Doctor Bamshoot?”

“The Doctor?!”

“Hmm.”

“I don’t like him very much.”

“You don’t? Why not?”

“I dunno, there’s something a bit creepy about him I guess.”

“Is there?”

“Yeah, you know, something… offish.”

“Right.” Howard’s brow wrinkles in thought.

“So why do you ask Howard? Do you think it might be him? Do you think he might be our murderer?”

Howard clicks his tongue before responding. “I have no solid reason to suspect him. I’ve known the Doctor for years and have seen him work wonders on the sick. I’ve spent many an hour in his company and discussed many a topic. He’s a respected man in this town, respected and admired and trusted, and yet…”

“Yet…?”

“And yet Vince I, like yourself, feel something’s off.”

Vince nods. “There’s something about him.”

“Yes, there is.”

“Do you remember when we were at the Doctor’s house Howard, when we were outside and I was showing you the knife?”

“Yes.”

“Well do you recall the Doctor just appearing in the doorway? You know, I always had the distinct impression that he’d been eavesdropping on us. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now you’ve brought him up.”

“I hadn’t thought of that but you’re right. He was all of a sudden there wasn’t he?”

“It was a bit odd.”

“And Vince, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Before you were taken by Naboo back to his cave, do you remember what you were doing? Do you remember the Doctor being with you at all?”

“Sure.”

“And did anything strike you as weird about how he dealt with you?”

“Hmm, well he did seem like he was in a bit of a hurry?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, not before the town bell rang but definitely after it. He tried to get me to drink from his hip-flask, said it would help me sleep, but I could smell laudanum in it so I only pretended to take a swig. Again at the time I thought nothing of it, I figured he was rushing so he could go help with whatever emergency was happening. Plus I was too busy willing him to go so I could get Fossil and sneak away.”

“Laudanum though Vince! That’s pretty suspicious. And why do it secretly?”

“Dunno. Maybe it’s his way of administering it so it doesn’t taste so bad.”

“Or his way of making you easy to kill.”

“You think?”

“Well Bainbridge and company paid you a visit soon after, you know that don’t you?”

“Naboo said he saved my life, I assumed it was from the Mayor.”

“My god Vince.”

“But Howard, it’s all still theory. We can’t prove Doctor Bamshoot did anything wrong.”

“No, and hopefully we’ll be gone from here without having to ask him directly, but for the next few hours let’s keep our eyes on the Doctor shall we. Let’s prepare ourselves against any possible ‘interference’ from him.”

“Will do Howard. So what are the plans now?”

“Well now we get up and pack some stuff. Anything we can’t take we’ll arrange to have collected later or sold. We need to get some food into you too and then we go find Monty.”

“Should we tell him of our suspicions?”

“Nah, not yet. No point in worrying him.”

“Okay, but Howard?”

“Yep?”

“Have I got time to tell you that you’re brilliant?”

“Ha! Yeah, there’s always time to tell me that little man.”

“Really though, I mean it. You’re brilliant you are.”

“And you’re not bad yourself Vince.”

“Cool, then you’d better give me another kiss to show your appreciation.”

Howard smiles and leans in.

Dixon Bainbridge is pacing.

He’s pacing and scowling and sucking the life out of his cigar.

To the side of the room Charlie and Eddie Piper watch on, Charlie scrunching his hat between his hands, both men as nervous and they are tense.

Dixon stops suddenly and takes a long steadying breath before turning and pinning the twins against the wall with his gaze.

“Where?”

“The Hopkins’ House boss.”

Dixon clenches his jaw. “That meddlesome woman. Why aren’t I surprised?”

He takes another drag of his cigar, looking almost demonic as his eyes glisten dark and hooded through the heavy cloud of grey-brown smoke surrounding his head.

“Is the Sheriff there?”

“No boss, not that we saw.”

“Hmm, that seems odd. Although he’s probably playing nursemaid to his Deputy.”

“We ain’t seen either of them leave the jailhouse boss.”

“Still this reeks of Moon. He’s behind whatever this is.” Dixon moves to a side buffet and removes the stopper from a full decanter, but he pauses before pouring. “You said the Hopkins house?”

“Yes boss.”

“Who’s our smallest man?”

“Boss?”

Dixon turns and glares at Eddie. “Our smallest man, who is it?”

“Umm, Duke maybe.”

Charlie shakes his head. “Nah, Duke’s thin as a rake but Nutter’s the smallest. He looks like a fucking child.”

Bainbridge claps his hands together making the twins jump. “Nutter! Perfect! Eddie, go get him and send him under that house. I want to know what’s happening inside there. Tell him to clean his ears and find out as much as he can. That Eleanor woman has a voice that can uproot trees and Mr. Flange still thinks he’s on a stage most of the time. Shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Sure thing Boss. Anything else?”

“Yeah. Find out if Doctor Bamshoot is in there, quick as you can.”

“On it Boss!”

Eddie rushes out the door, eager to be free from Bainbridge’s attentions.

Charlie puts his now heavily creased hat back on his head. “What about me boss?”

“Get Mr. White. He can keep an eye on things here. Me, you and your brother are going for a ride.”

“Where to?”

Bainbridge crushes his cigar stub into the ashtray hard. “It’s about time we paid a little visit to a Shaman.”

Naboo is pacing.

He’s pacing and scowling and sucking the life out of his pipe.

Bobby Fossil is sitting crossed legged on the floor, his eyes shut.

“So you have the knife in your hand?”

“Yes.”

“Held out in front of you?”

“No, hidden inside my coat.”

“Okay, so you’re down by the railroad.”

“Yes.”

“And the knife is under your coat?”

“Yes.”

“Can you see anyone?”

“No, I’m alone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, wait! No! There’s someone here.”

“Where?”

“In the shadows.”

“Who is it?”

“He’s wearing a hat.”

“But can you see his face?”

“No.”

“What’s he doing?”

“He’s moving now.”

“Towards you?”

“Yes.”

“What are you doing?”

“Walking towards him.”

“With the knife.”

“Yes.”

“Does he say anything?”

“No.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“What do you say?”

“I say the code words.”

“What are the code words?”

“Drum and Fife.”

“What? Really?”

“I don’t know what it means.”

“Well it means…never mind Bobby, what next?”

“He’s putting his hand out.”

“For you to shake?”

“No. He wants the knife.”

“And you give it to him?”

“Yes. Carefully. Handle-first.”

Naboo stops and crouches down in front of Bobby, laying a hand on each of the bank manager’s shoulders. “And can you see his face now?”

“I dunno.”

“Why don’t you know?”

“I…I don’t want to look up.”

“But you must, you must look up.”

“I can’t. I mustn’t.”

“Why?”

“He’ll hurt me.”

“Nothing can hurt you, you’re safe here. Look up Bobby, look up.”

“It’s too dangerous. I want to go now.”

“No Bobby, you must help me. You must help the Sheriff. You must help Vince.”

“Vince?”

“Yes.”

“I like him. He’s kind to me.”

“Yes, so can you help him?”

“I want to help.”

“So do it Bobby, help him now, help him by telling me who you gave the knife to.”

Bobby is rocking, his arms wrapped around himself, his eyes moving rapidly behind closed lids.

“I can’t, I mustn’t, I don’t know, I don’t know, please.”

“You can Bobby, you can do this. You can help Vince. Look up. Look now, look at his face. Who is it Bobby. Who is it?”

“It’s…”

“Yes?”

“It’s…”

“Yes?”

Bobby slowly raises his head, his eyes still screwed shut. “It’s…oh god why? Why you? Why is it you?”

“Bobby?”

“It’s him.”

“Who?”

“Him.”

“BOBBY?!”

“The Doctor!”

“What?”

“It’s the Doctor. Oh christy, it’s Doctor Bamshoot!”

Howard is pacing.

He’s pacing and scowling and sucking the life out of the end of a quill.

Vince is lying upon the couch, arms crossed behind his head and a soft smile upon his lips. “This is the third list you’ve written Howard.”

“It pays to be organised.”

“You’re making me giddy.”

“I need to get this right. I need to be able to convince them. I need to get it all down.”

“They already know most of it Howard. And you can’t convince them all.”

“But if I can show them, if I can remind them of every incident, every wrong that Bainbridge has done, then maybe they’ll agree to leave.”

“And maybe they won’t, but that won’t be your fault.”

“But I must try. I’m the Sheriff and it was my job to protect them. But I failed time and time and time again. This is my chance to reach them, to make it up to them, to help. I’ve got to get through. I owe it to them, to every single one of them.”

Vince jumps to his feet and rushes to stand in front of the Sheriff.

“Please, stop a minute. You’re chasing your brain around your head. Pause, take a moment.”

“There’s too much to do. There’s so many people, and some I haven’t even spoken to properly for ages, and so many must see me as a failure, and I don’t know how to change their minds, I don’t know if I can, but if I show them, if I can take the facts to them…”

Vince grabs Howard’s face between his hands and pulls it down towards his own. “Howard.”

“But Vince I…”

“Howard stop!” Vince continues to hold Howard’s face until the bigger man’s eyes properly meet with his own. Then he smiles and circles his thumbs around Howard’s cheeks. “Please stop.”

“I hate this Vince. I feel so useless.”

“I know, but you’re not. And they’ve seen that in the last few days, they’ve seen their Sheriff return to them. Have some faith in them, and have a little in yourself.”

“I’m not sure I can.”

“That’s because you don’t see what I see.”

“What do you see?”

“I see a good man, a remarkable man, a man who would give his life for this town.”

“I don’t know if they see that.”

“They see it, I’m sure they do. I think you’re right though, for a while you did neglect them, but they neglected you too Howard. They let you disappear on them. But now you’re back and it’s made them realise what they’ve been missing for so long. And they’re happy about it. They’re happy to see you, the real you, again. Don’t underestimate how much they need you, and more importantly don’t underestimate how much they like you.”

Howard closes his eyes. “I’m so tired.”

“Well you haven’t slept properly in days.”

“No, I mean I’m tired of feeling this way, feeling so guilty and so ineffectual, but I’m not sure if I can change.”

“Come here.” Vince takes Howard’s hand and leads him to the couch. He sits him down and kneels before him, his forearms resting on Howard’s knees.

“I can’t click my fingers and make all the crap go away, but I’m here for you okay. We’re here for each other. I’m the one you can share your emotions with now. You don’t have to bottle everything up or suffer in silence. I’ll never not want to hear you. I’ll never turn my ear away, never my shoulder. Everything you feel, you experience, you fear, it’s all important to me. Nothing matters in my life as much as you do. What affects you affects me. We’re side by side. You don’t have to do it alone anymore.”

A single tear rolls down Howard’s cheek and gently Vince brushes it away.

“I mean it Howard. We’re a partnership now. Our future may be a little uncertain, but it’s a future we’ll face together.”

Howard nods and cups Vince’s face in his hand. “Together forever?”

“Absolutely! No question! Moon and Noir against the world!”

Howard nods again. “I’m sorry Vince.”

“It’s okay. I love you.”

“And I you.”

The men’s lips meet but they’re still, content to quietly breathe against each other rather than kiss. Vince eventually moves upwards from his knees, climbs into Howard’s lap and wraps him in his arms. Howard rests his head against his chest, Vince’s heartbeat calming him. The Deputy pulls him closer.

“I do agree with you though Howard. You should present the facts as you know them to everyone. You should try and convince as many as you can. But you’ve got to accept that change is hard and it’s scary and that many of them will not come with you.”

“I know.”

“And you’ve got to remember that Monty has already done his part to encourage them.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Okay then. So what’s left to pack up here? The quicker we finish the quicker we can get around there.”

“Should you come?”

“What choice do I have?”

“I don’t know. I certainly don’t want to leave you here alone.”

“And I don’t want to be here alone.”

“But how are we going to explain your health?”

Vince leans backwards so he can look at Howard properly. “I think I’ll pretend for now. I’ll wrap myself up, sit in the shadows, stay quiet I guess. You and Monty will have to keep Mrs. Hopkins away from me though.”

“Goodness, I’d hate for her or any of them to work out we’re lying. That wouldn’t help with the trust issues.”

“No, that wouldn’t be good, but we can’t tell them about Naboo can we?”

“I don’t know, maybe we should. Maybe we should tell them everything.”

“I don’t think they’ll understand Howard.”

“No, you’re probably right. Maybe we’ll tell them tomorrow when we’re on the train.”

“Yeah, well hopefully they’ll have met him for themselves by then.”

“So is Doctor Bamshoot there?”

“I think so.”

“You think so…THINK so!”

“Well I…”

“And what else?”

“Else Mayor Bainbridge?”

“Yes, what else. You’ve been under there for thirty minutes man so what else?”

“I dunno Mayor. Umm, I think they’re eating.”

“Eating!?”

“Yeah, and someone in there has a harmonica.”

Nutter doesn’t see the punch coming. He’s out cold before he hits the floor.

“Fucking useless piece of shit!” Dixon Bainbridge flexes the fingers of his right hand as he coldly eyes the rest of the men in the room. All edge ever so slightly backward towards the wall. He points at the smallest man.

“You!”

“Me Mayor,” stammers the man.

“Yes you. Step forward.”

The man takes a tiny step.

“You’re Duke is that correct?”

“Yes Mayor.”

“You got ears Duke?”

“Yes Mayor.”

“And a brain?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Then what the fuck are you doing standing here? Go get yourself under the Hopkins’ house and find out what the hell everyone’s doing in there.”

“Yes Mayor.”

“Oh and Duke.”

“Mayor?”

“Disappoint me and it’s more than a punch you’ll receive.”

Duke swallows. “Yes Mister Mayor Sir.”

“Good, now fuck off!”

Duke rushes out the door.

Dixon turns to Ralfe White who’s been leaning the whole time against the door jamb.

“You okay to look after this bunch of idiots?”

“Sure Mayor. I’ll scatter them around the place a bit, see if we can’t pick up on a little gossip elsewhere. We’ll secure a few extra weapons too and lay off the drink tonight.”

“Good thinking. If only everyone was like you White. Now me and the twins should be back in a few hours. There’s a good chance we’ll have a couple of friends in tow. Can I trust you to prepare the guest room, if you catch my drift?”

“Certainly. I will need the keys though.”

Dixon chucks Ralfe the set. “And make sure that Duke is ready with a full report when I get back. No excuses!”

“Sure thing.”

“Charlie, go bring the horses around. And Eddie grab a couple of extra rifles. We’re going to go catch ourselves a magic man.”

“Are you sure Bobby? The Doctor yeah?”

Bobby, now roused from his hypnotic trance, is deathly pale and rocking back on forth on the floor of Naboo’s cave. “Yes. It was him. It was horrible. No-one told me he was gonna kill Lance. If I had known that…”

“I believe you Bobby, and so will the Sheriff. But tell me, why did the Mayor use the Doctor? Why get him involved? Surely he’s enough men to use for something like that. Do you think the Mayor knew that Lance was to be killed?”

“All he told me was to get a knife and go to the railroad where I’d meet a man. He told me I had to say the code words which seemed weird but I was too nervous to fret on that much. The Mayor said he wanted to shake Lance up a bit. Reckoned fists wouldn’t be enough and that we needed to threaten his life. The Mayor suspected that Lance was stealing from him, but he couldn’t prove it. He told me to get hold of a knife so that we could give him a right proper scare. He knew that Lance would either admit to it, or that he’d deny it but then later move his stash. He told me to follow him if this happened. But it didn’t happen, none of it did. Doctor Bamshoot didn’t even ask him anything. He just got me to distract Lance and then he came right up behind him and he…” Bobby rocks harder, “…and he sliced his throat.”

“What did he do next? Did he speak to you?”

“No. He dropped the knife at my feet and walked away like nothing had happened.”

“But why did he kill him Bobby? Why risk angering Mayor Bainbridge?”

“I don’t know, I really don’t know. But you got that wrong Naboo.”

“Wrong?”

“Yeah, Mayor Bainbridge isn’t angry with the Doctor.”

“No?”

“No. He’s petrified of him.”

Naboo frowns in thought before crouching in front of Bobby and offering him a bowl.

“Here, have some of this.”

“What is it?”

“A little something to make you feel better.”

Bobby nods his thanks and brings the bowl to his lips, but before he takes a sip he softly states, “We’ve got to go straight to Moonstone now haven’t we? We’ve got to go warn the Sheriff and the Deputy.”

Naboo smiles feebly. “Yes. The Doctor is an unknown. He’s unpredictable and he’s clever. If he chooses to, well, he could cause a lot of damage very quickly.”

“I don’t want Deputy Noir to get hurt anymore.”

“Well we don’t want anyone getting hurt do we? The trouble is we’ve a bit of a hurdle to get around first.”

“What’s that?”

“My carpet’s recharging and won’t be ready for another three hours so.,” Naboo points towards his tiny horse, “…we’ll both have to ride Bollo together.”

“Was that a knock at the door?”

Howard sticks his head out of the bedroom cell. “Was it? I couldn’t hear.”

“I think so Howard yeah. Shall I…”

“No, just hang back a bit Vince.” Howard removes his gun from its holster and speaks through the door.

“Hello, who is it?”

No answer.

“I’m going to open it. Take your gun out and cover me yeah.”

Vince has his gun trained before Howard has finished his sentence. “Be careful.”

Howard quietly turns the key in the lock and edges the door ajar keeping himself well hidden behind it.

There’s no-one there.

Vince takes a couple of steps forward, his gun cocked and ready, as Howard pulls the door fully open and takes aim at the empty space on his threshold.

“Are you sure you heard a knock?”

“Yeah I’m sure.”

Howard takes half a step, then another, then another.

“Howard please don’t go out there.”

The Sheriff suddenly catches a glimpse of bright red hair ducking around the side of the jailhouse. “It’s alright little man, it’s just Lillian White.”

“Lillian! What the hell is she doing here?” Vince unintentionally clenches his jaw.

“Not sure. I’ll go find out.”

“Hang on a sec, I’m coming with you.” Vince picks up his jacket.

“You don’t have to.”

“Howard, I am not leaving your side for a goddamn minute you understand, not one minute.” Vince strides through the door, his boots resonating through the wooden floor. Howard follows.

Lillian White looks at the ground sheepishly as the two men approach her. Howard gently lifts her chin.

“It’s okay Miss White. We’re not that frightening, honest.”

Vince tuts loudly and receives a warning look from Howard. Lillian though unexpectedly reaches for the Deputy’s hand.

“I’m sorry.”

Vince thinks about snatching his hand away, but something about the look in the girl’s eyes stops him. Instead he moves his hand to her shoulder.

“As long as you’ve learnt something from it then I forgive you.”

Lillian nods vigorously. “I have. I’m so sorry. I didn’t. I never meant.”

Howard puts his hand on her other shoulder. “Calm down, it’s fine. Just take a deep breath and tell us why you’re here. Did your father send you?”

Lillian closes her eyes briefly before speaking again. “Yes. He told me to be very cautious and to make sure I wasn’t followed. And I wasn’t followed, I’m sure of that.”

“Good, great, that’s brilliant.”

“Yes, and he told me to tell you that the Mayor has made a move.”

“What move? Where?”

“He said to say that the Mayor and the twins have gone looking for a man in the desert, and he also told me to say that the Mayor has a spy hiding underneath the Hopkins’ house.”

Howard and Vince exchange worried glances.

“Shit Howard.”

“Yeah, shit!”

“We can’t let Bainbridge get to Naboo, or Bobby. Definitely not Bobby! He’ll kill him!”

“I know, but we can’t let that spy learn our plans either. Christ knows what he’s heard already. We’ve got to get over there now Vince.”

“What and grab the spy?”

Howard bites nervously at his bottom lip. “No, but we’ll certainly feed him some lies.”

“Oh yeah. Good thinking Howard. But what about Naboo?”

“For the moment we keep everything crossed that out little shaman friend can look after himself.”

Naboo pulls Bollo to a stop. “Someone’s coming.”

“Who’s coming? I can’t see anyone?” Bob Fossil grabs the little man’s waist that bit tighter and squints towards the horizon.

The Shaman closes his eyes before nodding to himself. “It’s the Mayor. He’s coming this way.”

“WHAT? No, no, no. That can’t be. He’ll kill me. What we gonna do Naboo? You gotta hide me please.”

Fossil slides himself ungracefully down Bollo’s rump to the ground. The horse snorts his disapproval. Fossil tries to conceal himself behind a skinny cactus.

“Well there’s not much I can do. There’s only one track and if we head back to the cave he’ll catch up with us before we get there.”

“Haven’t you got a trick or something? Please, I’ll give you anything. Anything!”

Naboo raises an eyebrow as if mulling over this offer before grinning widely.

“Come here Bobby, I’m going to make you dead.”

Lucien Hopkins is not surprised to open the door of his home to Howard Moon. “Good evening Sheriff, we’ve been expecting you,” and he invites the lawman in.

Howard declines a seat electing instead to stand before his closest friends and confidants. Well friends except for maybe Doctor Bamshoot who is sitting in the corner. Now that Howard has cultivated the idea that the Doctor may have something to do with the murder he’s finding it difficult to make eye contact with the man. He internally scolds himself though. The last thing he wants to do is alert the Doctor to his suspicions.

So Howard clears his throat and offers a smile to each of them.

“Thank you all for gathering here tonight. Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Hopkins for allowing us to use your home.”

Eleanor rises from her chair.

“You’re welcome Sheriff, but please what’s all this about? Mr. Flange is being rather vague on the details.”

“Yes, apologies for the secrecy but I’ve come here to explain everything to you. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and believe there’s only one course of action I can now take in order to keep everyone in this town safe.” Howard raises his voice. “Tomorrow I will arrest Mayor Bainbridge for the murder of Lance Parrot.”

Monty stands, his expression one of total surprise. “Since when did you decide this Howard?”

The Doctor speaks next. “Don’t be ridiculous man, on what evidence?”

“I have it.”

“You do? Are you sure?”

“Yes. I have Bobby Fossil.”

There a few murmurs around the room and Jean Claude stands. “Um Sheriff, if I may be so bold, I think it is a dangerous idea.”

Jack stands next to his brother. “Very dangerous. I think you’re going to get yourself killed by the Mayor’s men.”

“It’s a risk I’m prepared to take, but I promise to protect myself and Vince and Bobby as best I can. No-one else will be directly involved, and that means none of you.”

Monty shakes his head, “This is crazy talk.”

Eleanor puts her hand on Howard’s arm. “And you’re not a judge Howard, what sentence can you possibly pass?”

Howard hesitates in replying and Eleanor anxiously puts her hand to her heart. “Oh my goodness, are you are going to execute him without a trial?”

“No, no Mrs. Hopkins, I am not going to hang him. I will keep him locked up in a cell until a judge can arrive. Deputy Noir and I will guard the jailhouse against the likes of the Piper Twins for as long as it takes. But if the Mayor tries to escape then maximum force may be necessary.”

“But the Deputy’s hardly in a fit state to help you is he Sheriff?” The Doctor edges forward in his chair. “Plus I’m intrigued about this proof you claim to have. I hardly think Bob Fossil can be considered a reliable source. What is it you think you know?”

The two men stare intently at each other for a moment, the Sheriff determined not to give anything away but needing to read the Doctor’s expressions. The Doctor, it seems, is trying to read Howard too.

Howard looks away and at each of the other faces in turn.

“As I say I don’t wish to involve any of you so I will not share my evidence. But I’ve made my decision. Tomorrow morning I’m walking into The Bullet, I’m grabbing the Mayor, and I’m going to try and end his crap once and for all.”

Lucien stands to join his wife and puts his hand out towards Howard. “Sheriff Moon, you’re one crazy son-of-a-gun but you have my full support.” Howard shakes the outstretched hand. “Thank you Lucien.”

Eleanor sighs but then extends herself to full height to plant a kiss on Howard’s cheek. “I worry this will have terrible consequences, but if you think it’s what needs to be done then so be it.”

Jean Claude and Jack also extend their hands. “We don’t like it but we trust your judgement Sheriff. Godspeed.”

Monty looks into Howard’s eyes. “It’s bloody stupid, but you know I’ll always back you.”

“Thank you. Thank you all.”

The Doctor is the only person still seated. He slowly pulls himself out of his chair and stands tall, chin jutting somewhat.

“I’m sorry Sheriff Moon but I cannot agree. Mayor Bainbridge may have his faults but sometimes the devil you know is better than the alternative option. If you do this I will not interfere but neither will I condone. And in my learned opinion Bob Fossil is not fully sane. If I am ever asked that question by a judge I will be obliged to answer thus.” The Doctor puts on his hat and coat. “I must now leave as I wish to have no further part in these discussions. I bid you all goodnight.”

He strides from the room and out into the night.

The remaining occupants are a little shell-shocked. They stand in silence looking at the door as if unable to grasp quite what just happened. Only Howard is smiling. Lucien eventually notices the lawman’s strange expression and frowns at him.

“Is this some kind of a joke Sheriff because I’m failing to see the funny side?”

All the faces turn now to Howard. He puts his finger to his lips to indicate everyone to be quiet then whispers, “I’m sorry Lucien, I’m sorry all of you, but if you wait a moment or so all will become clearer.”

“Clearer?” Eleanor whispers too. When one person whispers it makes everyone else whisper too. She takes a step backwards to better study Howard’s countenance. “What’s going on Howard?”

“Please everyone take a seat. I ask for you to be patient only a minute or two more. Monty, maybe a round of drinks if you’d be so kind.”

“What you up to Howard?” He tops up everyone’s glass.

All retake their seats but remain staring at the Sheriff who finally takes a seat himself.

“Sheriff please. Why are you grinning?”

Howard raises a finger to hush the room again and tilts his ear to the left. The room holds its collective breath in nervous anticipation of the unknown noise to come.

A sharp tap, tap, tap at the window. Everyone jumps in their seats.

Howard smiles widely at his friends. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.” He stands and exits through the door to the outside.

“Over here.” Vince beckons from the heavily shadowed area at the back of the house. Howard tiptoes across to him.

“You okay Vince?”

“Yeah fine. It worked a treat. You could hear every word you said clear as a bell, and the spy left straight after the Doctor.”

“Heading towards The Bullet?”

“Yep. And the Doctor headed to his house.”

“You weren’t seen?”

Vince rolls his eyes. “Of course not.”

“Good, that’s good.”

“So what now? I take it the Doctor’s lack of support told you something about whether he’s involved in all this.”

“Oh yes, there’s definitely a secret or two hidden there. I can see it so clearly now. But whether he’s our murderer I’ve yet to ascertain.”

“He was certainly in a big rush to get home. I still think I should have followed him though Howard. He may be up to something dodgy right now.”

“No way, it’s far too unsafe and we agreed not to split up again didn’t we? Besides right now it’s all about diversion. We need to get them all looking one way so we can rally and get out of town without incident.”

“I pray it’s that easy.”

“Probably not but it’s our best shot.”

“You going back in then?”

“Yeah. Time to put them out of their misery and explain the real plan of us leaving tomorrow. I hope they don’t think me a coward when I tell them I’m going to run rather than fight.”

“From what I heard I think it might come as a relief to them.”

“That would be nice. And I also hope they seriously consider joining us. But if not I’ll have to accept it. You and Monty are my main concerns.”

Vince gives Howard a quick kiss. “Okay then Sheriff hop to it. I’ll be out here hiding in an uncomfortable crouch position so please don’t be long.”

Howard winks. “It’s alright little man, I’ll massage those knots out of you later if you like.”