Arctic Conditions

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What's the real reason behind the hiatus of The Boosh? Why did Fielding and Plume break up? Why does no-one ever see The Boosh boys together any more? What lies ahead for the future of The Mighty Boosh?

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Refreeze

Contents

Refreeze

Chapter Summary: What do you do when you have no idea where to look? Start at the beginning?

Chapter Notes: Well it’s been a while but I’m back. I do want to apologise for my absence, however, I would rather I took time away from writing and give my full effort when I am up to it, rather than give a half hearted effort. I was supposed to publish this about a week ago but I got some bad news so I haven’t been up to much. I’m here now with a new chapter though and I hope it’s good enough for you guys. Enjoy! Xx

He’s pressing into the doorbell, the ringing sound oh so reminiscent of his own that it makes him want to throw up. He doesn’t know how well she’s gonna react to him doing this, but then again…

The door opens abruptly, making him jump in surprise.

“Julian?” Her broken voice questions. He smiles back at her shyly, not aware of what it is she knows.

“Hi.” He takes in her appearance. Unkempt hair, rumpled clothing and red ringed eyes that are free of makeup.

Her pink fringe was unruly and curly, let loose without styling, and the rest of her black locks were secured in a hairband in a rough ponytail. Julian felt guilt course through him at how long he had left this woman uncontacted, and how much pain she must have been through.

“Um…” She shakes her head as though gathering her scattered thoughts, clearly pulling herself together in the face of company. “Come in… I mean, it’s a bit messy but…” she trails off as she stands aside for Julian to walk in.

He steps past her into the hallway; going round the corner to face the open plan flat. His shock at facing the, once tidy Dee’s, flat is badly concealed, and he can only sigh in relief that Dee hasn’t made her way past the doorway.

He hears the door softly shut, before a shaky sigh is delivered. Julian mentally curses himself out. Clearly a bad time.

Well no shit. How would you feel if your ex’s best mate came over, whilst you were clearly busy and going through something personal? Good point. Obviously. Shut up.

Padded footsteps make their way round the corner to stand next to Julian where he’s still stood in the doorway surveying the mess. Dee sighs again deeply.

“Sorry. If I’d known you were coming I’d have tidied up a bit.” She says scratching the back of her head nervously as she looks shyly to Julian. He gives her a half smile as he waves his hand in dismissal, despite him being used to Dee being the tidy type.

Suppose that was before Noel came and trashed her heart.

So she trashed her flat too?

Exactly.

Julian still makes no move in any direction, stood awkwardly shifting from foot to foot, whilst looking at the floorboards. There’s a tension between the old friends, as neither can think of an icebreaker that doesn’t involve the enormous elephant in the room that they’re both trying to avoid.

The silence finally seems to be too much for Dee, who breaks it with a cliché yet simple opener.

“I’ll put the kettle on then.”

Julian had just begun to wonder why he thought this a good idea, when he was currently sat with absolutely no clue on what to say. Why don’t you start with telling her that you dicked her ex? Shut up brain, shut up brain, shut up brain.

Julian continued to look directly into the steaming cup that sat in front of him, almost mocking him with how easy its life was. Julian wished he could be a teabag right about now; the self-sacrificial ritual, the boiling hot water, tortur—

“Are you planning on drinking the tea, or drowning in it?” Julian jumped slightly, almost forgetting he was with someone else in the room; his self-pity taking over once again on his pathetic life.

Glancing up to catch Dee’s eye, he gave a weak smile towards her; almost asking for forgiveness in its fragility. Why the fuck do you deserve to be forgiven? Julian sighed deeply again.

“Look, I think it’s kind of obvious why you’re here…” Dee’s soft yet scratchy voice carried over to him, her throat raw from crying. Julian hums his conformation almost silently, but in the quiet flat it’s easy enough to hear.

“I just wondered if—” Julian started to speak before Dee overlapped his words.

“You wanted to know what Noel was doing here.” Julian’s slow working mind took a second to digest the information, before his eyes grew wide.

“Wait, Noel was here?” Dee looked shocked at Julian’s lack of knowledge on the subject, giving a confused frown as she answered.

“Yes… isn’t that why you’re here? To shout and ask me what the hell I was doing…?” she trailed off, realising by the look on Julian’s face that he had no idea what she was talking about. “Well then why the hell are you here?” She asked, confused as hell by Julian’s presence if not for that.

Yeah Julian. Why?

 

“I just… I haven’t been closest to Noel for a couple of years and I remember him saying something about you two meeting up, so I was wondering if you knew where he’d go when upset?” He mumbled, ashamed of himself for lacking in the friendship department.

“Because you slept with Julia?” She asked. Julian’s head snapped up to look at her with wide eyes, before it clicked.

“Noel came round to talk to you about it, of course he did. God, I’m such an idiot.” You’re just realising?

“Why did you Julian?” she asked, no judgement or malice in her voice, just curiosity. Never malice with her. Never. She had a heart of gold, and Julian cursed himself for not coming to see how she was doing earlier. Not coming to see her when Noel started dating someone else. Not coming to see her when the band took a break and her best friend moved to Wales.

“I didn’t mean to at first.” He muttered. “Honestly, I didn’t. I’m not just making excuses!” He said, holding his hands up in surrender. “I went to go and tell her, but then… I saw her and I just thought that she deserved more than just a quick breakup…” He trailed off, his own reasoning sounding like shit even to himself as he sighed brokenly. He hung his head, too ashamed to carry on talking.

Dee sighed sympathetically, looking down at her own lap. “You just felt as if you should give her one last night.”

Julian looked up at her, surprised that she wasn’t screaming about what a selfish bastard he had been. She spoke instead as if she understood. Julian fish mouthed for a moment, before speaking. “Yeah I… How did you…?” He trailed off.

“Julian… Did you not think that telling that to Noel would’ve been the best course of action?” She said solemnly.

“You… You don’t think I’m a heartless bastard?” Dee smiled sadly.

“Ju—trust me when I say I know what a heartless bastard looks like.” Something in her bitter tone made Julian scrunch his face up in confusion. Her teary eyes made everything clear to him however.

“You mean…” She looked over at him, tears welling up even further in her eyes. “Noel?” She let the tears flow over as she nodded, not having the voice to speak without her held back sobs coming out in full.

Julian looked around the room and something hit him suddenly. The clothes strewn on the floor weren’t there because Dee was too depressed to pick them up; they were strewn on the floor too wildly and haphazardly for just laziness.

“You thought I came round to shout at you because Noel was here.” He mumbled, almost to himself. “He wasn’t just here, you slept together.” He said as he moved his head to look directly into her eyes.

Her eyes widened as she realised that she had been found out, scared for his reaction. She knew about what was going on between them and still, she had gone through with it.

“I know and god Ju—I mean Julian—I am so fucking so—” She stuttered out.

“Dee I’m so sorry.” He interrupted.

“You… wait what?” She looked at him as if he lost his mind.

“I’m so sorry. If I hadn’t gone back to Julia for that one fucking night, then Noel and I wouldn’t have been fighting, and he wouldn’t have come here to fucking get back at me or make himself feel better or whatever the fuck his excuse is, and he wouldn’t have played the fact that…” He trailed off as he looked directly into her eyes; knowing all too well the look that played in them. “That you’re still in love with him.”

Dee gasped out a sob as Julian whispered those last few words that were the cause of seemingly all her problems in life. Silently, Julian stood up with tears in his eyes, and walked over to Dee. She looked up at him, with wide, scared eyes.

“I’m sorry Julian, I know I shouldn’t still love him and you have every right to be pissed off at me, okay? I know. I knew what was happening with you two and I still just… God, I’m so sorry.” Julian said nothing to the statement, instead choosing to grab her tiny hand in his and pull her up to stand, before wrapping her in an embrace.

She stood in confusion for a moment before clinging desperately to the man she was once close to. All the pent up emotions from the past coming out as she cried. Julian was the only one who could even begin to understand. Plus, without Noel being out, it would make it difficult to talk to other people about it who weren’t Sue; but she was in Wales with her new family.

“I just… I wish I was over him.” She sobbed as she clung to the jacket on Julian’s shoulders. “I mean, it’s been years since we were actually together, I shouldn’t be feeling this way. But when he’s with another woman? I just…” She broke off into more sobs and Julian calmly stroked her hair. “If it had been you, I may have been over him by now. That’s why I broke up with him.” Julian tensed up. He had no fucking idea about that.

So you’re the reason they broke up are you? Marvellous. You fucking homewrecker. You wreck everybody’s lives don’t you?

“He told me what happened that night. He told me he kissed you and that he was in love with you, and I mean I already knew that, but hearing him say it hurt me so bad.” Julian’s tears started flowing more and more frequently the more Dee spoke. “And I fucking told him that you loved him back and when you guys stopped talking I knew he blamed me. I mean… Well, he never said it, but I could see it in his eyes every time he looked at me…” Julian sobbed aloud at the confession, burying his face into the side of her neck.

“Then he started dating Lliana…” Julian could almost taste the dislike on his tongue with the venom that Dee spat the statement at. “And I knew it was for me. He never had to say it, but I knew it wasn’t a closet thing, it was more of a ‘fuck you’ gesture to me. And it worked…” She hiccupped, trying to keep herself from falling apart. Julian held her tighter, as if making sure she wouldn’t as he moved his head so that his chin rested on top of her head, as she cried into his neck.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through this alone.” He whispered, as he gently stroked her hair, silent tears still tracking down his face. The two stood in silence, the only noise coming through the open window of birds and traffic.

Dee’s crying subsided as they both sat down next to each other, Julian with his arm over Dee’s shoulders, and Dee with her arm around his waist, leaning into his side. The two sat in comfort for a while, before Dee spoke up. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

Julian shook his head in disagreement, “No love, it’s me who hurt you. You’ve been in love with him this entire time and I never realised. I was never there for you throughout the years when I should’ve been. You’re like a sister to me DeeDee.”

Dee smiled sadly as she whispered out, “You too JuJu.”

He laughed slightly. “What a sister?” Dee giggled, despite his attempt at humour being half-arsed at best.

The two continued to sit, both just enjoying the other’s comfort and company, before Dee yawned and sat up away from him, stretching out the ache in her bones from the angle she had been sat.

“So, what you gonna do?” She asked, looking genuinely curious at how this awful game would play out next, after she’d been played and tossed aside. Julian looked at her sadly. He loved Dee. She was like a sister to him, he wasn’t lying. He felt awful that she had been hurt during this time.

“Guess I’m gonna go to his flat to see him, wait for him if he isn’t there.” He said with a resigned sigh.

“Well you’re gonna be waiting for a while then I guess.” She said with a dry humourless laugh; something Julian hated as a comedian. His need to please almost kicking in, until something about Dee’s words sunk in.

Julian looked at her, confused. “What do you mean? Is he not at his flat? I thought he wasn’t staying with Dave anymore? I went round and Dave said he had no clue where he went, just took off.” Dee looked shocked, as if she thought Julian would have held this information. She blinked slowly before opening her mouth to say something Julian was going to have a hard time processing.

“Julian… Noel’s in America.”