Little Pink Pants
Category: Real Person Fic
Characters: Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding
Pairing: Noel Fielding/Julian Barratt
Length: <1k words
Notes: Written as a thankyou to _phoon_ for buying more tickets to the Boosh, who is the most wonderfullest cousine in the world ever (this is _phoon_ writing this. I’m paraphrasing.) Spot the subliminal message!
Little Pink Pants by tundra_boy
Julian pulled on the little pink pants™ and smiled, they were a little snug-well a lot snug, ‘things’ could be seen. But they were beautiful little pink pants. He had wanted them ever since he first saw them, sparkling away at him. Almost beckoning to him ‘Wear me. Wear me. You know you want to wear me. Be all pretty in my sparkly pink.’ And before Julian could get himself sectioned for thinking that pink pants were talking to him, he’d bought them. And now, looking in the mirror, he knew he’d made the right decision.
At that moment his door opened and Noel bounced in, he stopped mid-bounce at the sight of Julian in little pink pants.
“Hey…are those mine!?!?” Julian spun round, almost falling out in the process.
“No. I just bought these.”
“Mens Most Pretty Pink Things™ its on the high street.” Noel grinned,
“I know. I buy all my pants from there. They stock pants made specially for me now!” He edged closer to Julian. “That’s a good pair of pants. Sparkles in all the right places. A little snug but I like that. I especially like the little bow on the back. Very nice.”
“Yes, they are aren’t they?” Julian smiled and went back to fondling his pink pants, Noel joined in.
The door opened again and Dave stepped in, Noel and Julian momentarily stopped their fondling to turn around, “Yes Dave.”
“I’ve just been told to say that LAURA SAYS THANK YOU ROWAN FOR GETTING HER AND PAUL TICKETS TO SEE THE BOOSH….. AGAIN!!!”
“Oh right.” Noel said, fondling Julian’s pants again, “Thanks.” Dave nodded and left the room, muttering ‘I have those in green’ under his breath.
“Well…” Noel mused after several hours of fondling the pant, “These are very lovely pants. But I think they might look better on the floor.”
“Er…I don’t think so Noel. I think they look better on me.”
“No…I mean they’d look better on the floor.” Noel said again, nodding suggestively towards the bed. (mmm ‘ello bed…come wiz me….)
“Noel. That’s the bed. Not the floor.” Noel realised that it would take action, not words, to get what he wanted. And so in one swift motion he ripped the little pink pants off Julian and hurled him onto the bed.
The pants fell softly to the floor, contrasting beautifully against the black carpet.
“Whaddya know….they do look better on the floor.”