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PWP with angst. Angsty PWP.


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Length: words

Notes: Uh, tundra_boy made me write angst. Ugh. She makes me write things for her at work, and they’re all done in about 10 minutes and are kinda crappy… but oh well. Are you happy now, Laura? Are you?!

Noel had come to him the night before. Crept into the dark room, and slid under the covers, as stealthy as always. And Julian always welcomed him with open arms, and willing body. Gave himself over completely.

Sometimes, it would simply be friction. That lithe body between his legs and rubbing, over and over. Sometimes there were fingers digging hard into his hips and a warm mouth descending over him, and he would bite down hard on his fist to stop himself from screaming. Last night, Noel had turned him over silently onto his stomach, and Julian had to bite down on the pillow to muffle his moans as he Noel drove himself deeper and deeper.

And last night, as always, Noel had left without a word, leaving Julian sweaty and panting and sticky on the bed.

Julian watched him go, face pressed against the wet spot on the pillow from where he had been biting it, and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut. It hurt, like it always did, and the ache just got worse over time. Every time Noel left without a word, and greeted him the next day like he always did. Flirty and gorgeous and just beyond reach.

This morning, when Noel sauntered, grinning, into the kitchen, the ache seemed to encompass him. Watching Noel get a cup of coffee, chatting away about… something. All Julian heard was buzzing, and he shifted where he was leaning against the counter. He winced, bringing the cup to his mouth to hide it, and shifted again.

He couldn’t do this. Not any more. It was killing him.

He left the kitchen, walked out of the house, and spent the day wandering, anywhere, everywhere. Wherever Noel wasn’t. He didn’t come back til the evening.

This time, when Noel slipped into his room, and Julian felt the expected touch on his legs, saw the shape move in the darkness, he reached out and touched Noel on the shoulder. It was the first time he had ever reacted, and the shock in Noels eyes hit him like a hammer.

“No.” It was said quietly, but it seemed to echo round the room. And the shock in Noels eyes grew, changed, shifted to something like anger. “I can’t. No…” The words stuck in his throat.

The anger deepened, mouth set in a firm line, as Noel turned and stalked out of the room, slamming the door. And Julian curled up on the bed, hands clutching his pillow in a white-knuckle grip.

Noel didn’t come back to his room at night, but he was still the same in the day. Still flirty and gorgeous and now.. now definitely beyond Julian’s reach. Julian coped, played the best friend, the comedy partner by day, but now at night he would see Noel with others. Pretty things picked up in clubs and after shows. And there was a dark look in his eyes when he looked over at Julian.

And Julian would go to his room with heavy heart and an ache that deepened hour after hour.