Category: The Mighty Boosh, Crossovers / Fandom Fusions
Characters: Vince Noir
Genre: PWP (porn without plot)
Warning: Smut (graphic sex scenes)
Length: 1-5k words
Notes: I don’t own the Boosh, or Breakfast on Pluto. I just love them both.
Svelte, Gamine by cia
Vince was alone in the club. Howard had found some girl and wandered off with her, which Vince supposed was only fair, after the number of times he’d done that to him. He’d become much more confident with the ladies, Vince mused. Old Gregg must have taught him a few things on his birthday.
Trying to put thoughts of manginas out of his head, Vince looked around at the people milling about and dancing. It was quite dark, with fairy lights adorning half of the walls, and mirrors the rest, something that had made him warm to this place the first time he came in. The entire club was like this too, even the toilets, the black walls making it seem like some sort of shiny wonderland. Vince was dressed as some kind of shiny Alice, with a headband around his straightened hair, knee length silver boots and skin tight black trousers. His tight top was light blue, with enormous flowing sleeves and a scooped neck, very low, to the point where his Pecs started to curve outwards.
Turning to check his eyeliner and lipgloss in the mirror next to him, Vince started. Standing next to him, also checking her reflection was a woman, with curly, brown hair and beautiful, fine features. Vince was hypnotised by her grey eyes, and the curve of her pink lips, and his eyes moved down to look at her body. She was very thin, he thought, no breasts or hips to speak of. Svelte. She was wearing a black dress, extremely tight, with a thin green belt across her waist, and very high, green shoes. He was utterly captivated by her. She checked her hair, and reapplied her pink lipstick, rubbing her lips together and licking off some of it with her tongue so it didn’t get on her teeth. He felt a jolt of electricity pulse through his cock.
The more Vince stared at her, the more he got the feeling that there was something different about her. Then, as she reached up to straighten out her black satin chocker, and position the green jewel, he realised: she wasn’t a she. As breathtaking as she was, there was no mistaking that Adam’s apple. This, of course, didn’t affect Vince’s lust in the slightest; if anything it made him even more excited. This woman was stunning. And Vince had always enjoyed fucking men anyway. Now he was going to get the best of both worlds, he decided.
He moved through the few people who were separating them, and looked at her in the mirror.
“I’m Vince” he said, into her ear “You’re beautiful”
She blushed, and Vince moved in closer, lightly pressing his body against her, and then moving his crotch away a bit, as he immediately started to get hard. Didn’t want to frighten her off.
He moved his mouth closer to her ear, and lightly stroked the part of her neck that the choker was covering.“Gamine” he said, as quietly as the club’s music would allow, his eyes still fixed on hers in the mirror.
She whipped around to face Vince. There was fear in her eyes, and Vince realised that she had probably had some bad experiences after men realised who she was. But as soon as she had taken in Vince’s hair, makeup and clothes, her expression relaxed into a seductive smile. She moved closer to Vince, and purred into his ear “My name is Kitten”. Her full lips were so close to Vince’s ear that they brushed it, and Vince felt yet another jolt to his growing erection.
He regained composure quickly enough to ask her if she’d like to dance, and, taking her rather delicate hand, he lead her into the crowd of dancing bodies. Positioning his hands on her hips, she placed hers on his chest, and they began to sway in time to the steady beat of the music. They stared into each other’s eyes, Vince’s dark with desire, and Kitten’s wide with anticipation. The song changed, a heavier, dirtier beat. Vince moved closer to Kitten, and pulled her towards him, so that the entire length of their bodies were flush against one another. Her eyes widened as she felt the bulge in Vince’s tight jeans, and her lips parted with desire. Vince grinned and grinded his hips into Kitten’s. She gasped, and Vince thought he might have scared her off, but instead she moved her hands down from his chest, to his arse cheeks, biting her lip discreetly as she squeezed the soft curves. Now it was Vince’s turn to gasp, the sensations causing his cock to twitch and grow to its full size, pressing into Kitten’s own crotch.
Vince decided that enough was enough, and taking one of Kitten’s hands he led her out of the writing crowd, towards to toilets. They hurried though the doorway and into the corridor separating the toilets from the rest of the club. Again it was all black walls, fairy lights and mirrors. Vince pressed Kitten against a mirrored wall, and kissed her, a deep, passionate kiss, his tongue granted immediate access to explore her mouth. She was shy at first, her only indication that she was enjoying it in the way she pulled Vince closer to her, opening her legs and allowing him to press one of his legs between hers. Vince slid a hand up her thigh, a moan escaping his lips as he realised that she was wearing stockings on her toned legs. She broke their kiss, and looked Vince straight in the eye, desire and lust all over her features, from her swollen lips and wide eyes, framed by flirtatious lashes, to the blush spreading in her cheeks. “Vince” She said, in that impossibly soft, light purr “Kitten wants you to fuck her”.
They all but fell through the cubicle door. Vince had worried that the toilets would be too seedy for this delicate creature, but she was as high on lust as he was, and didn’t seem to mind. Vince pushed up Kitten’s dress, marvelling at the taught, stockinged legs before him. Kitten tore at Vince’s trousers, ripping them down as fast as their tightness would allow. Vince sighed at his erection at last having some room, his trousers had long since become painfully tight. She looked up at him, through her lashes, and flashed him a filthy smile, before sinking to her knees and flicking her tounge out to tease Vince’s cock. His knees buckled at the contact, his over sensitive penis in danger of coming at the slightest electrifying touch. He felt the smile on Kitten’s face, as she took him into her mouth, and Vince moaned quietly, tangling one hand into Kitten’s curly brown hair, using the other to steady himself against the cubicle door.
On the opposite wall, there was a mirror, and Vince’s arousal was taken to a new level after seeing the reflection. Kitten was on her knees, her pushed up dress revealing firm, rounded cheeks, framed by black lacy underwear. He looked down and saw his cock disappearing into her hot, wet, eager mouth, her eyes were shut, and every now and then she moaned, sending vibrations through Vince’s whole body.
“Oh, Kitten” He breathed, pulling her head away from his cock. “Stand up”. She obeyed, leaning back against the wall, arching her back, pure sex written all over her body.
Vince took two of his fingers, and slowly pushed them past her swollen, wet lips. She sucked them into her mouth, covering them with saliva. Vince removed them, and trailed his hand down her body, to her underwear. He ripped them down, marvelling at Kitten’s rather attractive cock. Taking it in his hand, and pushing a wet finger inside her, Kitten gasped, grabbing hold of Vince’s arms for support. He smiled, and began to push his finger further inside her, adding another after a minute, enjoying watching her moaning under his touch. “Vince” She breathed, “please…please”. He removed his fingers as slowly as he could bear to, before pulling a condom out of his pocket and sliding it on to his cock. He positioned it at Kitten’s entrance, waiting for a heartbeat before sliding it slowly inside her.
They both let out identical moans as Vince filled Kitten. She wrapped her legs around him, letting Vince go even deeper inside her. After resting for a moment Vince began to thrust inside her, slowly, enjoying the purrs and gasps escaping her rounded lips. He felt as if he was going to explode, and Kitten fucked his hand to the same rhythm as Vince had set for fucking her. She put her arms around Vince’s neck, pulling herself up, and pushing back down onto Vince’s cock, making Vince’s thrusts even more powerful, each on delivering waves of pleasure.
Vince was close, he could feel it, but he wanted to feel Kitten come with him inside her. He pumped his fist harder, and whispered in her ear “Oh God, Kitten, it feels so good inside you. Do you like getting fu.cked by me, up against a wall like this?” her eyes flicked open, and her lips parted further, fixing Vince with a gaze clouded by ecstasy “It feels so good with you inside me Vi…” Kitten’s words were cut short as an orgasm tore through her, she threw her head back and a low keening sound escaped her mouth. Her body shook, and Vince felt her muscles tighten around him, sending him into his own, earth shattering orgasm, “Oh… Kitten… Kitten!” he moaned, burying his face in her neck and soft hair, his muscles shaking as he came inside her.