Made Up Stories
Category: The Mighty Boosh
Characters: Howard Moon, Vince Noir
Pairing: Howard Moon/Vince Noir
Rating: PG
Status: Complete
Length: 1-5k words
Made Up Stories by BizznessBarrattFTW
[nextpage title=”Chapter One”]
Chapter One
Howard sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the photo of him and Vince. It was the middle of the night, the house was silent, the world was sleeping. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there but there was a vague sense that the darkness had fallen outside a long time ago and had been present when his thoughts had turned from despair to hatred and back.
He heard a key turn in the lock of the front door, the sound was so out of place in this house of eerie silence, so unwelcome that he shivered. He didn’t have the energy to get up or pretend everything was still ok, not after tonight. He felt numb and there was only one thought in his mind – ‘Can’t deal with this no more.’
Thinking about it for so long still hadn’t made the situation any clearer in his mind, did he confront Vince straight away? What was he supposed to say? Howard closed his eyes, “Please wont you go back out,” an irrational hope, but right now he just needed more time to think, to be alone. Howard’s hopes were shattered as he heard Vince quietly walking up the stairs, his footfalls seemed to be steady – he’s not drunk then. Not drunk enough to laugh this off anyway.
“Don’t come back and pretend to tell me the night you’ve had with your Made Up Stories.” The line was so well rehearsed by the time Vince was standing in the doorway, but it still sounded odd. Howard meant to shout it, to hurt Vince like Vince had hurt him. But he couldn’t quite manage it, there was a lump in his throat, pounding in his head and the tears were burning his eyes again. Vince just stood in the doorway and stared at Howard, neither of them spoke or moved for a minute, and again the silence was deafening.
Vince was confused, and there was a note of panic in his voice, “Howard, what …what you on about?”
“I saw you Vince, don’t even try to lie about it, I was there but you didn’t see me.”
“You were at the club tonight?”
Howard was still staring at the floor as he ran through the memory of this evening in his head, it wasn’t any less painful now, he felt crushed – breathing wasn’t so easy anymore, as if with every breath he was closer to breaking down completely. But he knew he couldn’t give in now, there was so much more he needed to say, “there you were and the floor was empty, you and him getting more than friendly. It was just a kiss but I could see you meant it.”
Vince saw the look on Howard’s face, he wasn’t just broken any more – he was totally shattered. And it was all Vince’s fault.
“The saddest thing for me was I trusted you.” Howard had to say it now, he couldn’t look at Vince, if he saw that beautiful face right now it would break his heart even more. “Then standing out of view, I just had to leave ‘cos of what I’d have done to you.”
Vince was shaking, he knew at the time it was a stupid mistake, he’d tried to forget about it – that’s why he’d came home earlier than usual, back to Howard – his rock, his life. But he’d never thought Howard would have been at the club, would find out, how was he going to explain this? A million explanations ran through Vince’s mind, but none of them seemed right, before he could find the right words, Howard spoke again, “I brought your favourite coat, I know how cold you get, and you left it.”
Vince tore his eyes away from Howard to stare at the crumpled coat on the bed, there was something about it that seemed so insignificant, but as if it was the coat’s fault for what had happened tonight. It was as if Vince could tell how hurt and angry Howard had been by the way the coat had been thrown across the bed, it was too much for Vince and he covered his face with his hands.
End Notes: The lyrics of the song used in the fic:
‘Can’t deal with this no more.’
“Please wont you go back out,”
“Don’t come back and pretend to tell me the night you’ve had with your Made Up Stories.”
“I was there but you didn’t see me.”
“there you were and the floor was empty, you and him getting more than friendly. It was just a kiss but I could see you meant it.”
“The saddest thing for me was I trusted you.”
“Then standing out of view, I just had to leave ‘cos of what I’d have done to you.”
“I brought your favourite coat, I know how cold you get, and you left it.”
[nextpage title=”Chapter Two”]
Chapter Two
Author’s Notes: the second part of the fic – this hasn’t got anything to do with the song.
Howard couldn’t tell if Vince was actually crying, or whether he was just ashamed, he tried to scowl at Vince but he could feel tears burning the back of his eyes again.
“Why, Vince?” Howard almost choked on the words, but it had to be said, he wasn’t really expecting an answer, but it felt as if it would make things clearer when he said it. Vince moved his hands away from his face and even in the darkness Howard could see the tears on his face. Vince looked so lost, so helpless, so sorry, he slid down the wall and sat on the floor, drawing his knees up to his chin.
“I’m so sorry Howard.”
Fresh tears rolled down his face as Vince struggled to find the words, “I never meant to hurt you, he was nothing to me, I swear, I’m so sorry…” Howard had never seen Vince this upset, before Vince had come home tonight, he was so angry he had thought about leaving – getting away from Vince and his memories. Howard had even wondered if there could be a future for him and Vince after this. But now all of his anger had disappeared, what Vince couldn’t say was written clearly across his face – and Howard couldn’t stay angry at him.
“Who was he?”
The question had only just occurred to Howard, there was someone else to blame for this, and now he desperately wanted to know who. Vince however, didn’t seem desperate to tell him.
“He was no-one, I told you I swear, I don’t even, I didn’t, know his name.”
Howard knew there was something more to this, something Vince wasn’t telling him, he always knew when Vince wasn’t telling him the whole truth but this was different, and Howard couldn’t face it anymore. He stood up angrily and looked down at Vince,
“Fine! If you wont even tell me the whole story, I mustn’t mean as much to you as you do to me…I can’t do this anymore Vince, maybe, maybe we just weren’t meant to be together.”
Howard stormed out of the room, but Vince caught his arm before he could go downstairs. Vince looked horrified and was clearly fighting some inner battle with himself, he was shaking now and he looked as if he was going to collapse.
“Howard,” his confident voice wavered, he was almost whispering. “You’re right, I…I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how, how to tell you before. Please don’t go.” Vince tightened his grip on Howard’s arm to reinforce his plea, and he took a deep breath before continuing, “I need to tell you, I’ve never told you before because, because I thought it was stupid, but it hurt…I’m so sorry.”
Howard wasn’t going to let this go so easily, “How many more things have you kept from me? How many other nights like this have there been? Why wont you fucking tell me anything!“
“I was so scared,” Vince replied uncertainly, and Howard couldn’t ignore the fear in Vince’s eyes as he spoke those words, “I was so scared Howard. I wasn’t good enough. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it I know, and I can’t…I can’t ignore how much I love you, and how much I need you. I couldn’t cope if I lost you, I was always so scared you would leave me.”
Howard was taken aback by this outburst, he had never seen Vince like this, he’d never known Vince to be so honest or show so much emotion, Howard knew he’d regret it if he left now without hearing what Vince was so desperately trying to find the words to tell him, he sighed and went back to sit on the bed. “I need to know what’s going on in that head of yours little man.”
Vince edged forward slowly and gingerly sat on the bed, “do you remember how I was when we first met?” Howard smiled, how could he forget?
“Who I used to be was the real me, I mean, like this is the real me now. But really I was myself back then.”
“Vince, you’re not making any sense.”
Vince smiled tentatively at Howard before rephrasing, “I just did what I wanted to back then, I looked the way I wanted, I said and acted how I wanted – and I didn’t give it much thought. But it’s like I didn’t really believe in much, I didn’t really know who I was, not really. But then I met you, and, I thought – I knew I had to be something special to catch your eye…You became my ambition, and I tried so hard to make you notice me, and I know I made mistakes, and I know I made you really hate me sometimes when we were at the Zooniverse. I don’t know what I was thinking really, I was just trying to be more and more different…Remember when I was in all those bands? And I tried to make it work, I mean that Glam Folk band was ridiculous, and that Electro band was just mad, but I thought if I was in a successful band you would respect me as a musician and you would see we had something in common…I was also hoping that I would get famous and get out of the Zoo, and that you’d, you’d love me enough to come with me.”
Vince paused, it had taken a lot of courage for him to finally be honest, he needed Howard to understand everything. Howard looked less angry now, he was starting to understand what had happened, “So all those stupid things you did, you were trying to impress me?” Vince nodded slowly, then continued, “All those times I was horrible to you, when I was pushing you away it was because I couldn’t admit to myself what I felt for you. I thought if I wasn’t around you then I would forget what I was feeling, and you’d end up hating me so I wouldn’t have a chance anyway. I don’t know…it was so stupid, I was trying to hurt you, and I was trying to hurt myself, I know what it meant to you and I’m so sorry, I don’t deserve you anyway.”
Vince ducked his head to hide the tears falling onto the quilt, he expected Howard to hate him now, he expected him to walk out and not come back, Howard was going to leave him because he’d been so fucking stupid.
Vince didn’t expect Howard to throw his arms around his neck and hold him tightly, “you stupid tart,” Howard breathed against his neck. Vince was so stunned he couldn’t move for a minute, but then his brain started to work again, relief flooded through him and he gratefully hugged Howard back.
