Category: Real Person Fic
Characters: Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding
Pairing: Noel Fielding/Julian Barratt
Genre: PWP (porn without plot)
Warning: Smut (graphic sex scenes)
Length: 1-5k words
Notes: Betaed by the lovely plain_jane08.
There would always be a moment at which Julian would consider the what if’s. He thought he was pretty confident and secure in his own sexuality. He saw Noel as being the same. He remembered their early conversations about kissing on stage; bringing the homoeroticism that, apparently, existed between them, to being a tangible thing. To tongue or not to tongue? Should they hug or clutch, or should one be passive and the other one grabby? It wasn’t the sort of conversation that most men had. But then, Julian didn’t tend to think that most men had to deal with people questioning their sexuality. Like Noel had said; let’s bring the homoeroticism to the masses (he had said to the kids first of all, and both of them had decided that sounded all shades, sizes and colours of wrong). There was an element of rebellion in that. You want homoerotic? Well here ya go; deal with this.
Of course, the thing is, what do you do when one of you does something, and the other reacts as a man might react? Wandering off mumbling that you missed your girlfriend would only last so long, especially if she was in audience. You could claim that the love and adulation of a live crowd gave you a hard on; but who wanted to admit to that? In the end, Noel and Julian learned what not to do if they didn’t want to cause themselves, or each other, embarrassment. By proxy, of course, that also meant they learned what to do if they wanted to make the other blush and apologise and leave the stage a harder man.
For example, Noel was a very anal person. Julian enjoyed telling him this every time he groped Noel’s arse on stage, and felt the resulting reaction against his crotch or his thigh. This particular move was a dangerous one; Julian found the idea of Noel getting a hard on from Julian groping his arse quite sexy. He supposed that was the insecure part of him, which screamed as Howard Moon and convinced shy-Julian to take his clothes off, demanding his own share of attention.
In terms of what Noel could do to Julian, his biggest secret weapon, if he wanted the older man to limp rather than walk offstage, was to moan. As soon as Noel moaned against his lips, most of the blood supply from Julian’s body seemed to race straight to his dick. The problem with that, as Noel freely admitted, was that Julian getting a hard on as a result of his moaning gave Noel the horn. Julian supposed that was the insecure part of Noel coming out, the part that made him wear the brightest boots in the room whether he was Vince or not, and getting the lion’s share of the attention.
Julian could muse on these things and could talk about them with Noel too. They spoke about what happened when they did those things, then they wandered off and dealt with it quietly. Nothing would be said, just a knowing glance from one to the other. The words had all been said. They both knew that if they wanted to, they could be the best lover both of them had ever had. Julian hadn’t told some of the women he’d slept with the things he told Noel. He regretted that sometimes; then he realised that he was more willing to talk about what he liked and disliked, after he’d talked to Noel. He wondered if Noel was the best lover he’d never had, or the best therapist.
And then, there was today. Julian was fed up, lonely, angry and horny and was tired of all the questions and the conversations. He’d watched Noel strut around a thousand and one dressing rooms with nothing but his y-fronts on. He’d noticed more than once that Noel had the sort of pert, round backside that Dannii Minogue would kill for. Not Kylie. Kylie was impeachable. He knew that Noel put body lotion on his legs because people saw them a lot these days. He also knew that he liked watching Noel put it on. Noel knew too, and perhaps that was why he’d been looking at Julian for the last five minutes in the dressing room mirror, rubbing lavender-scented cream into his thighs. It was around the time that Noel exposed his arse and started rubbing cream into his buttocks too, that Julian lost it.
“Are you asking for trouble?” Julian said, letting his hand drop over his crotch and accentuate his dick straining against the front of his trousers.
“Maybe,” replied Noel, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.
Taking two long strides across the dressing room, Julian shoved his crotch against Noel’s naked arse. He didn’t know if it was the hand he’d pushed into Noel’s y-fronts, or the fact that Julian’s erection was digging into Noel’s back that made the younger man harden beneath his palm. He didn’t care much, especially since he was fighting with his belt and trousers. He cared even less when a squeaked apology, rush of footsteps and slammed door alerted him, and Noel, to the fact that Dave had been in the room. All Julian cared about was the fact that his cock was digging into Noel’s back, and that was the wrong place. All wrong. He looked at Noel through the mirror. What he saw in those electric-blue eyes might have stopped him. Maybe. Then Noel pushed his crotch against Julian’s hand, and his eyes fluttered shut. No matter how vulnerable Noel might have looked in that moment, he knew what he was doing.
Julian dragged him away from the mirror. He pulled him over to the saggy couch in the corner.
“Kneel on the seat,” he said, his voice harder and harsher than he might have imagined.
Noel didn’t speak, just kicked off those stupid fucking y-fronts and dropped the bottle of body lotion into Julian’s hand. When Noel’s arse was tilted up and the smooth expanse of Noel’s back was before him, Julian pumped out a little of the body lotion and let it drip between the globes of Noel’s arse. He threw the bottle on the sofa, stepped forward and rubbed his cock along the crease, feeling Noel tense beneath him.
“Relax,” Julian said, stroking his hand over the bumpy curve of Noel’s spine. “I’m not going to do that to you before we go do a gig, am I?”
Noel laughed a little, his buttocks unclenching. As they did, Julian pushed forward; his cock nestled between them, the lotion making the space hot and sticky.
“Yes,” Julian whispered, reaching around Noel to grab his cock. His fingers closed gently around the smooth skin of the shaft, reaching lower to squeeze Noel’s balls lightly. Noel moaned again and Julian responded, his hips pushing his cock up and between Noel’s arse cheeks. Grabbing Noel’s hips with one hand, Julian started to build a rhythm. He stroked Noel in time with his thrusts, knowing that neither of them was going to last long. Julian could feel Noel’s cock leaking precome as he pumped his dick. One of Julian’s thrusts went astray, pressing against Noel’s entrance and rubbing against it.
“Fu-ck,” Noel whispered in response. His body jerked forward so quickly that he fell forward slightly, then braced his arms against the back of the sofa. He pushed back against Julian, who tried to hit the same mark again. Noel moaned, “Yes, fuck, yes,” and Julian knew he had found it. He began thrusting again at a new angle, trying to hit the same spot over and over. Noel’s little noises of response made tension build up in Julian’s stomach.
“Coming,” Julian managed to whisper before came. Strings of spunk left trails over Noel’s back as Julian jerked against him, trying to remain standing.
“No,” Noel whispered, as Julian’s hand stilled on his cock. He was breathing heavily. For a moment, Julian was worried that he was crying. Then Noel’s hand clamped around Julian’s as he tried to take it off Noel’s dick. “Don’t you dare,” he ground out. Julian pulled his hand from Noel’s grasp.
“Just a second,” Julian whispered, scraping his come from Noel’s back. “Not going to leave you hanging,” he said as he wrapped his messy hand around Noel’s dick again.
“Is that?” Noel started to ask before Julian twisted his hand around Noel’s cock, and left him gasping. Julian’s steadily drooping cock was pushed against Noel’s hole, since he seemed to enjoy the stimulation. Then Julian began to stroke Noel harder, the younger man’s body rocking and shuddering with the movement.
“Does it feel good?” Julian whispered, his voice deep. “Touching you with my hand covered in spunk?”
Noel took a sharp inhale of breath, then his head nodded slightly. “Yes,” he whispered. “Yes, please, Jules. Jesus.”
Julian felt Noel’s thighs tremble and he wrapped his arm around the younger man’s waist, jerking his cock fast until Noel’s backside clenched. Then Noel was making wordless sounds, bucking against Julian and coming over his fingers. Julian pulled Noel up and flopped them both onto the sofa in a heap. Noel was panting, making high-pitched noises on each inhale. His skin was warm and damp, and even the lightest touch seemed to make him react.
“Okay?” Julian whispered, dreading the thought that this really might not be. The signals had been clear enough. Now he had his arms full of a very quiet, very still, Noel.
“Mmm,” Noel replied. “No talking ‘til I know my name again,” he muttered.
Julian figured it was probably alright. He stroked Noel’s shoulder until the younger man talked again.
“Does that class as homoerotic?” he asked Julian, his voice full of smiles.
“Yeah,” Julian mused. “We could ditch the rest of the show and just…”
“We’re not taking this to anyone,” Noel said, rocking and wriggling in Julian’s arms. “S’ours.”.