Home and a Place in my Heart for Love

If Noel and Julian make one whole person together, surely there's room for one more.


Characters: , ,

Pairing: , ,

Genre: , ,



Length: words

Notes: Russell’s POV.

Didn’t happen, no money.

Home and a Place in my Heart for Love by plainjane

They are complete opposites and yet it occurs to me that the one cannot live without the other. Apart they are nothing, just as darkness cannot exist without light; Julian cannot exist without Noel, and Noel cannot exist without Julian. Together they make one whole person, one perfect person. For the first time in my life I am in love and as if fate is trying to make up for my years of loneliness, I am in love with two people at the same time. I don’t think I could not love the one without loving the other.

I was entranced from the first time I met them. They came to see me do stand up and even in my drug induced haze they stood out like a beacon of perfection. Noel was like an enticing pixie, shiny and magical, it was impossible not to notice him. Julian on the other hand was dark and mysterious, preferring to let Noel to all the talking. Julian was intense. Even from then, when I hardly knew them, I was hooked. They were better than heroine. I couldn’t stop thinking about them. Even in rehab, when my life was falling apart, they were in my mind. In my head they were my reward for getting clean, the light at the end of the tunnel.

It wasn’t until a few years later, after I’d finished with the whole drugs hoopla that I met up with them again at a Christmas party. This time in a more sober state I could finally appreciate their mystical beauty. It was obvious from the start that they were an item; in fact it was hard to imagine them apart. Although I was bitterly disappointed, it didn’t stop me from flirting shamelessly with both of them. I was like a moth drawn to a flame and Christ, did I get burnt. Luckily, I’ve always been a bit of a masochist.

Towards the end of the night both Noel and Julian were thoroughly pissed. I couldn’t say the same for myself. Actually, this was the first Christmas since I was a teenager that I wasn’t completely drunk or high for. The party was winding down and I was getting ready to leave, sadly alone. I went to say goodbye to Noel and Julian, who were standing apart from everyone else and whispering to each other. I felt rather awkward intruding on an obviously private moment, but I’ve never been afraid of awkwardness so I just meandered over to them.

I said my goodbyes to them, trying to remain bright and sunny despite the fact that I felt quite depressed to be leaving them. My words were met by smirks and for a moment I felt like I had missed something, then Julian pointed to the ceiling. I looked up to find a sprig of mistletoe hanging above our heads. Hope flared in my chest and suddenly I felt nervous. I looked from Julian to Noel, wondering if they were going to follow the Christmas tradition. Noel looked to Julian, who nodded, and then turned back to me and leaned forward before placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

When he pulled back he was smiling and I felt a wave of bitter discontent when I thought that would be the closest I’d even get to them. Then Julian stepped forward and cupped my face with his hand, he too leaned forward and kissed me, but unlike with Noel, this kiss was longer and less than innocent. He the kiss ended I was in a daze. I couldn’t believe that quiet, demure Julian Barratt had just kissed me like that in front of his partner.

Noel slipped his arm around Julian’s waist and then took my hand in his. Then he invited me back to their place.

That night we made love. I was honoured to be included in something so intimate between two long standing lovers. The love they showed each other was tangible. I have never seen something so beautiful in my entire life. I was shocked when they turned their attentions towards me and showed me equal affection. I was an intruder in their bed and yet they treated me with such care that I felt like I had always been a part of it.

The pleasure I felt with them was unlike anything I had ever felt before. They are truly considerate lovers but it wasn’t until after, when I was cocooned between them as we drifted off to sleep that I knew I was in love.

We spent many more nights in their bed after that. I learned every inch of them and they mapped every inch of me. There were times when I didn’t know whose name to cry as pleasure overrode my body.

Soon I was spending more time at their house than my own, only popping back to visit my cat and get more clothes. Before long it wasn’t just their bed they were sharing with me, but their lives as well. I went from third wheel to third person in the threesome to third lover and partner. No longer was it Noel and Julian, now it was Noel, Julian and Russell.

Noel and Julian mean more to me than anything else in the world. They are my confidants, my carers, my lovers and my best friends. They are always there for me, through thick and thin, and I’d like to think that I’m there for them. Noel is always there to help when I feel depressed, his bubbly demeanour making it impossible to feel down. Julian is there to ground me, he reels me in when I’m being ridiculous and he always knows just how to calm me down. I trust them with my life and I’m eternally grateful for what they have given me; a home and a place in my heart for love.

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