After The Glitter Fades.

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each chapter is named after the song that inspired it - includes how 'The Tears' was written.

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Fuck The Pain Away – Peaches

Contents

Fuck The Pain Away – Peaches

just close your eyes and think of him…

We slumped over the bar, leaning heavily on each other, laughing hysterically at something we weren’t quite sure of. I was clutching a can of larger as Noel sipped a luminous blue cocktail which, from the look and smell of the thing, was about 90% vodka, 5% sugar, and 5% pure light; a very Noel drink for a very drunk Noel.

Girls kept flashing Noel seductive looks, and he wasn’t exactly ignoring them. Even as he was talking to me, he had his arm round some girl, Megan, or Meg, or something. She wasn’t exactly shy, but I still wished Noel would take his hand out of her bra while he was talking to me.

When, as I was mid-way through describing an idea for the Boosh film, she leant over his shoulder and started biting at his neck the way I had fantasized about for months now, it was too much, and I couldn’t stay sitting there. I shouted, a little louder than necessary, that I was going to the bathroom. He barely even looked up from sucking her face off.

I didn’t go to the bathroom. I pushed through the crowd towards the glowing exit sign, then changed my mind and elbowed my way back to the bar, ordered a shot of tequila, downed it, and ordered another.

As I was ordering my third, watching in fascination as the room began to swim, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I ignored it, hoping it was some random Boosh fan about to ask me “Where’s Noel?” But, as I hunched over the bar, ready to deny my name, I heard a girl’s voice mumble in my ear, “What’s up Ju? Tequila’s made you stupid!”

I turned round, and through the lazy haze of my eyes saw who it was.

“Dee?” It had been over a month since her break-up with Noel, what was she doing here? And alone? She lived with sue right on the other side of Camden. She laughed and hugged me. Her laugh sounded weird, not like usual, and the hug was hollow.

“You alright?” I asked, still confused.

“Yeah! Great! Just came here to um… well, see how Noel’s doing, but I see he’s busy.” She laughed weirdly again, and I could now see how bad she looked. There were dark circles under her eyes, her make-up was smudged, and her brown roots were showing through the red and black streaks.

I glanced back over to where Noel had been with that girl, but they weren’t there anymore. I looked around the packed club, until I saw them in the dark corner of the room, where there were couches and bean-bag chairs. They were surrounded by couples getting off, and I could just make out Meg slowly getting onto her knees in front of Noel, as he looked up at the ceiling, biting his lip.

“Oh, right. Yeah.” I looked away, unable to handle the feeling in the pit of my stomach. I glanced at Dee, and saw that her eyes were swollen and filled with tears. I knew exactly how she felt. We both needed to get away from this place.

“Dee, shall we go…”

She cut me off. “NO! No, Ju, really, I’m fine.” Unconvincing smile. She grabbed my arm and pulled me onto a bar stool, and ordered four more tequila shots. She began babbling incessantly about anything that popped into her head. “So, I’m writing this new song at the mo, think it’ll be great, it’s about being hurt… he cheats and you’re there wanting to kill him and the other girl and stuff! One of the lines is “I’ll cut her from ear to ear, and the… yeah… so…” She was staring at Noel as she trailed off, jumping between singing and shouting and high and low pitches at an alarming rate, then fading into silence, like she was just giving up.

I’d seen her like this before, but before she’d been out with Sue, she had her armour. I remember seeing her on countless occasions watching Noel get off with some random girl across the room, while she pretended not to see, and sang loudly with Sue and danced and drank. And drank. I’d seen that sorrow in her eyes so many times, usually cleverly hidden with make-up, and now I finally understood it.

Suddenly, all my feelings turned to pure anger. How could he do this to me? To Dee? He’d made it perfectly clear that he knew what had happened at his place before we came out, and it was only a month since his split with Dee, yet there he was getting sucked off by some random girl in club.

I wanted to get back at him, show him how it felt. I turned to Dee, and I could see from her expression that she was thinking the same thing as me. Her nostrils were flared and her eyes were wide and filled with hot tears as she turned away from Noel in the corner and stared up into my blurry eyes.

Before either of us knew what was happening, we were kissing wildly, grabbing at clothes and clawing at faces, taking out all our pent up anger and lust and despair. In our minds, it was Noel we were kissing and grabbing at and scratching – it was Noel’s hair I was tugging, it was Noel’s face she was clutching, Noel’s hands down her top, Noel’s fingers running down my stomach, Noel’s tongue down her throat, Noel’s grip on my arse, Noel’s body pressed against hers.

The room was spinning as we staggered out of the club, still locked in our fantasy, and hailed the first cab we saw, not caring about direction or time; just wanting to get away from here, from him.

The whole journey seemed merged into a single gasping breath. We arrived at a flat, not knowing or caring whether it was mine or hers at that moment, and scrambled up the stairs, not even looking at each other more than was necessary, just so we could remain trapped in the idea that it was still Noel. Still Noel.

It was all happening so fast, neither one of us wanted to stop in case the spell broke. We were in the door, stripping off, naked, fucking, on the bed, on the floor, against the wall. We were fucking Noel, in every sense of the word – I was caught somewhere in between fucking Noel’s girlfriend to show him what pain feels like, how it feels to be betrayed and consumed by jealousy, and just wanting to fuck anyone, just so I could picture Noel. I knew Dee was feeling exactly the same. We both needed this.

We were a blur of flesh spinning & whirling round the apartment, flipping upside down and back to front constantly, trying to avoid the reality that it was me fucking Dee as we both thought of him. We were crazed by our make-believe: lips on me, tongue on her, hands, fingers, mouths, teeth, nails, hair. Ripping, tearing, screaming, crying. As we came together, a vibrating ball of agony and ecstasy on the floor, screaming out his name to the silent universe, we collapsed against each other, overwhelmed with pain and heat and shame.

Sucking on my titties like you wanted me
Calling me, all the time like “Blondie,
Check out my chrissy behind.”
It’s fine all of the time,
Like sex on the beaches.
What else is in the teaches of peaches? Huh? What?

Sucking on my titties like you wanted me
Calling me, all the time like “Blondie,
Check out my chrissy behind.”
It’s fine all of the time,
What else is in the teaches of peaches?
Like sex on the beaches. Huh? What?

Huh? What? Right on.
Huh? What? Right on.
Huh? What? Right on.
Huh? What? Right on.
Huh? What? Right on.

Sucking on my titties like you wanted me
Calling me, all the time like “Blondie,
Check out my chrissy behind.”
It’s fine all of the time,
What else is in the teaches of peaches?
Like sex on the beaches. Huh? What?

Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.

Huh? What? Right on.
Huh? What? Right on.

What else in the teaches of Peaches?
Sex on the beaches?
Huh? What? Right on.

Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away.