After The Glitter Fades.

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each chapter is named after the song that inspired it - includes how 'The Tears' was written.

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Flash Delirium – MGMT

Contents

Flash Delirium – MGMT

Julian can’t handle his fantasies anymore.

God, he is so beautiful it hurts if I look at him for too long.

Every curve and arch of his body is like poetry, and his face looks like it’s been designed by Gods. Schitzo Gods, from another dimension, on acid, but Gods.

No one has ever been so unearthly beautiful! I’m certain of that…

Jesus, what would it be like to run my hands over that face? Feel whether that pale skin was as soft as it looked, comb my fingers through that ridiculous hair that filled me with awe, gaze into those eyes that were innocent and lustful at the same time, touch those perfect lips, trace the lines of his neck, his chest… Wonder where else I could run my hands…

“You’re staring again!”

I was jolted out of yet another day-dream by his absurdly masculine voice, which never quite seemed to fit the beautiful, androgynous exterior. He was looking at me; his head tilted to the left quizzically, and those fathomless eyes filled with confusion and amusement.

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

I flashed him a quick, defensive smile and immediately glanced round his room for something else to focus on. Everything in that room reminded me of him, and everything about him made me twitch. Fuck!

I hurriedly pulled my jacket into my lap, and settled for staring out the window onto Camden’s heaving streets.

“Ju?”

Shit, had he seen?

“Um… yeah. What’s up?”

I tried to sound as casual as I could with a ridiculous erection throbbing almost painfully against my now-taught jeans. Noel sighed and ruffled his hair, gazing at me from beneath his heavy fringe. Bloody tart. I smiled briefly.

“What are you thinking about? Every time I look up you’re staring at me like that.” He laughed and ruffled his hair again.

“Oh, yeah, I was just… um… do you wanna get out of here?” I was desperate to distract him, and could see it working. His confusion turned to childlike enthusiasm in a split second.

“Yeah, genius! I’m burning up in here!” He fanned himself dramatically.

“Well, look what you’re wearing, ‘course you are!”

“What?! Charles of London made this for me!”

He gestured flamboyantly at the skin-tight leather jacket with feathers round the collar he had been squeezing himself into that morning when I arrived with coffee.

“Don’t you like it?”

Although his eyes still had the cheeky glint in them, I could sense the slight hurt in his tone. He always liked having my approval, even though I’ve got no bloody clue what he’s on about when it comes to fashion. Christ, if only he knew how much i approved of his skimpy outfits…

“Ok, whatever, let’s go do something, yeah?”

He’d already lost interest, and was now practically buzzing at the thought of ‘doing something’.

I had to shake myself to get rid of all the amazingly fucked up images that flooded my head with that line. I was relieved we were going, I couldn’t be in his room anymore, sitting on his bed, surrounded by his things. I was just getting up, when I suddenly remembered my… situation. Shit!

“Let me just nip to the loo first, then we’ll be off.”

“Jesus, what’s wrong now?”

He giggled and shot me a glance that seemed to say he knew exactly what was wrong, then huffed in the way a child does when told they can’t have more sweets. He sat down cross-legged and rolled his eyes.

“Alright.”

I sprinted to the bathroom, locked the door and stared at my face in the oversized mirror. I was bright red and sweating out, no wonder he thought something was up! I splashed cold water on my face, and clutched the side of the bath, willing it to go down… Come on! Grandmas, Grandmas, Grandmas… Nanageddon… Noel in a dress and heavy eyeliner screaming into a microphone… FUCK! I had to! I really, really had to!

I stopped and listened, heard Noel flick on the TV and begin watching NME. I had time. Could I do this? Really, here? In Noel’s house? Just the thought was getting me harder, and I knew I had no choice…

I reached down, and slowly undid my fly, pausing every now and then to listen for signs of movement. Noel’s attention span was so short I couldn’t be too careful. I closed my eyes, and began to run my hand up and down. Noel was flooding my head: black hair, white skin, blue eyes, red lips, narrow hips, tight arse… I was so hot by now it only took a few strokes and I was gripping the side of sink with white-knuckles, cursing and saying his name under my breath as I came hard.

I splashed my face with water again, and sat panting on the toilet lid for a few moments to cool down. I glanced in the mirror again as I opened the door. I looked just as flushed as I had when I had come in, but at least I didn’t have an appalling boner to worry about anymore.

As I shuffled out of the little room, I turned and saw Noel sitting with his knees tucked up to his chest on the chair facing me, a mildly amused expression on his face, but with one eyebrow raised and his lips slightly parted. I had never seen him looking sexier. And that is saying something.

He smirked at me for a moment, slightly parting his knees and tilting his head back. Then, in one movement, he turned, stood up and began walking towards the door, with even more swagger in his step than normal. I hesitated a moment, not sure of how to interpret his current mood.

He stopped for a moment at the door and slowly turned to face me. His smile grew wider and more cheeky.

“Coming?” he asked slowly, as he raised an eyebrow. He glanced down at my crotch so quickly I was wondering if it had even happened, then turned immediately and walked out the door, leaving me reeling.

Mild apprehension.
Blank dreams of the coming fun.
Distort the odds of a turnaround.
Gut screams out next to none.

So turn it on, tune it in, and stay inert.
You say “I’ve got the backbone.”
The back way to escape the gun.
Climbing a tree with a missing limb,
And not saving anyone.

And now it hurts to stay at home, and see…
Flash! The mirror ball’s throwing mold,
You can’t get a grip if there’s nothing to hold.
See the flash catch a white lily laugh and wilt,
But if you must smash a glass first fill it to the hilt!

Plants, as far as I know are still,
Still bending toward the light,
And if we dance until the heart explodes,
It’ll make this place ignite!

And even if this hall collapses,
I can stand by my pillar of hope.
It’s just a case of Flash delirium!

Here’s a growing culture,
Deep inside a corpse.
Ages stuck together,
Taking it to the source.
Timeless desperation.
Pictures on a screen scream:
“hey people, what does it mean?!”

Comfort keeps us nice,
So quick to donate everything.
Die wolken drifting blinding smiles circling.
And time’s tingling spines,
Attaching hands to floor.
The rosy-tinted Flash!

The hot dog’s getting cold,
And you’ll never be as good as the Rolling Stones!
Watch the birds in the airport gathering dirt,
Crowd the clean magazine chick lifting up her skirt.

Why close one eye and try to
Pledge allegiance to the sun,
When plastic ghosts start terrorizing everyone?

Geometric troops aligning,
Carried up to the burial mounds.
My earthbound heart is heavy.
Your heartbeat keeps things light,
With the violence forever threatening the night.

And even if this hall collapses,
I can stand by my pillar of hope and trust
That our heads won’t burst!

Lines when I close my eyes and just aim blindly at the sun,
And hear love when the ghosts start singing terrorizing everyone.

Geometric troops aligning,
Carried up to the burial mounds with gold.
It’s a heavy load but your,
You rhythm makes it light and explode
Like a violent star keeps threatening the night.

And even if this hall collapses,
I can stand by my pillar of hope and trust
That our heads won’t bust!

66 55 red battleships
40 earthlike planets
3 holes 2 tits
1 fork in it’s side
Zero tears in their eyes

Sue the spiders
Sink the Woelsh
Stab your facebook
Sell sell sell
Undercooked
Overdone
Mass adulation not so funny
Poisoned honey, Pseudo science,
Silly money, You’re my honey.