Labyrinth, Boosh Style

After Vince annoys him too much with songs from the film 'Labyrinth', Howard finally yels at Vince and tells him to grow up. Vince then wishes the goblins will take him away, which results in Howard's dissappearence and a quest to defeat the goblin king. Next in my crossover stories.

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Chapter Six-The Fireys and the Bog.

Chapter Six-The Fireys and the Bog.

Vince and Ludo made their way through a dark forest. Birds and animals shrieked as they followed the path that was covered in twigs and small rocks.

“Ludo scared..” The huge creature moaned, darting his head back and forth, looking for unseen enemies.

“You can’t really be scared, look at the size of you” Vince smiled at him “Come on now, there’s nothing really to be scared off” He walked off again, not notising that Ludo has disappeared down some sort of pit. Notising the quietness, he turned around “Ludo? Ludo? Where are you?”


Hoggle was still walking away from where Vince was until he heard someone shouting “Hoggle, help me!” He knew it was his friend and went back for him “I’m coming”

He spun around and saw Jareth, leaning againest a large rock “Well, well. And where do you think you’re going?”

“Well, that young man gave me the slip before, but I hear him now and now I’m gonna lead him back to the beginning like you said” Hoggle explained quickly.

“Good, because I thought you were going to help him. But you wouldn’t after all those warnings, right?” Jareth smiled at him.

“Me? No, not after all them. I’m not that stupid” Hoggle nervously laughed.

“But now I have a better idea. I want you to give Vince this” Jareth produced a peach from nowhere and threw it to the dwarf, who caught it “What is it?”

“It’s just a present for him, a surprise if you will. It won’t harm him of course” Jareth said.

“Good, because I won’t harm him” Hoggle nearly shouted.

“Now, Now. It’s not like you to lose your head over someone, espically this fine young man” The goblin king smiled, remembering he was just doing the same “Now, give him that or I will tip you into the bog. Got that?”

Hoggle nodded and went to help Vince “Oh and Hoggle, if he kisses you, I’ll turn you into a prince…prince of eternal stench” Jareth warned.


Vince looked around at his surroundings, afraid now his friend has gone. A noise made him turn around and a long limbed red furred creature came out, a long tail coming out his behind.

“Who are you?” Vince asked, nervous but loving the colour of the creature-firey red with streaks of yellow.

“We’re Fireys and we just want a good time” About five more of these creatures popped out and started jamming.

“ Dont’t have no problems, no problems, ain’t got no suitcase, no suitcase.

Ain’t got no clothes to worry about, ain’t got no real estate,

Or jewellery or gold mines to hang me up.

I just throw in my hand, throw in his hand,

With the chilliest bunch in the land.

They don’t look much, but they’re sure chilly chilly,

They’re positively glow glow, huh!

Chilly down with the wild gang, think small with the wild gang,

Bad help with the wild gang, when your thing gets wild.

Chilly down, chilly down with the wild gang, walk tall with the wild gang,

Good times, bad food, when your thing gets wild chilly down, chilly Down”

They did allsorts of things while singing-removing their limbs to mke themselves into other things, using their eyes to play dice. Seriously creeping Vince out, who although was loving the party and song, was trying to find a way out of the forest.

“So when things get too rough, your skin dragging on the ground,

And even down looks up, down looks up.

We can show you a good time, show you a good time,

And we don’t charge nothin’, nothin’ at all.

Just strut your nasty stuff, wiggle in the middle, yeah,

Get the town talking, by God.

Chilly down with the wild gang, think small with the wild gang,

When your thing gets wild, chillt down, chilly down with the wild gang”

One of them leaped on Vince’s back and started pulling on his head “Let’s take his head off now, it’s an ugly head anyway” Vince pulled it off and yanked of it’s head, throwing it away. He then took the other creature’s heads and threw them as well, then ran for it.

“Hey, you’re only meant to throw your own head, that’s the rules. Now we get to take your head off!” He heard behind him as he ran. More of the creatures surrounded Vince as he past quickly, only to have his waqy blocked by a wall. He then felt a rope drop next to him and looked up, smiling when he saw Hoggle waving down to him.

Vince made his way up the rope, seeing parts of the firey creatures being throw by him, shouting for him to play with them. He made his way to the top of the wall, and hugged Hoggle close “You saved me, thank you” He then kissed Hoggle on the forehead and a pit on the top of the wall appeared, making them both drop down through it.


They both landed on a small legde, overlooking a brown-greenish bog with a smell so powerful…

“Where are we?” Vince asked, rubbing his head where he fell.

“This is the bog of eternal stench” Hoggle answered.

“Oh God, it smells like…like…” Vince had to stop what he was saying before he puked.

“It’s dosen’t matter what it smells like, just don’t touch it” Hoggle nearly shouted. Then the ledge crumbled under their weight (dunno how, espically with vince’s weight) and they fell, luckily on top of Ludo!

“Ludo, you’re back” Vince smiled wrapping his arms around the big creature, Ludo got up from where he fell and saw that Hoggle was underneath him “Smell bad”

Vince nodded in agreement and looked at their surroundings. A large tree was situated by them, with a old, rickety bridge going across the bog “Looks like we have to cross to get there, let’s go!” Vince said.