Category: The Mighty Boosh
Characters: Julian Barratt, Russell Brand
Pairing: Julian Barratt/Russell Brand
Genre: PWP (porn without plot)
Warning: Smut (graphic sex scenes)
Length: 1-5k words
Notes: Thanks to the Lizard for the beta, especially considering her hatred for Russell Brand.
Couch by Replenished
“Why does the conversation always end up so dirty when you’re around?” Julian said.
“Talent?” Russell replied, deadpan. He reclined back, stretching his arm over the back of his chair.
Julian, Russell and Noel were hanging out at Noel’s place. Russell had come over to run over some ideas with Noel about their upcoming charity gig. They were distracted by a discussion on the pros and cons of different hair styling products when the door buzzer rang. Noel had got up from the couch and headed for the door, still talking animatedly. As Noel had glanced through the peephole, Russell immediately noticed the change in his demeanour. Noel had opened the door to Julian and hurriedly declared Russell’s presence.
By now, Noel had relaxed, grinning as he fluffed his hair. The conversation had since taken a somewhat more risqué tone.
“Personally, I like both,” Noel confessed . “In some situations I’m a Dom, others a Sub, it all depends really.”
“Well, I’m a Sub all the way,” Russell said proudly.
“Duh!” Julian rolled his eyes. “That’s not half obvious.”
“What about you, Julian?” Russell said, with a trace of a smile, knowing his question would be met with unease.
Julian shifted in his seat and Russell’s smile grew. He wasn’t stupid. In fact he was a very clued-up individual. More so than that, Russell knew sex and he was very aware, from Noel’s reaction at the door, that Julian had popped around to Noel’s for a more than a chat.
“I’d imagine you’re a Dom,” Russell said and saw Julian incline his head slightly in agreement. “Mainly because you’d be too scared to let go. You seem like the kind of person who likes to be in control all the time.”
Russell expected Julian to get angry at this but was dumbfounded when he merely shrugged.
“Do you wanna share a cab?”
As they’d left the flat, Russell was surprised at Julian’s suggestion, figuring he was going to stay at Noel’s tonight. He realised the guys were trying to be discrete but he didn’t think it was really necessary. He didn’t give a rats if they were regular fuck buddies.
They wandered down to the street and flagged a cab.
“Do you want to come over to mine?” Julian suggested casually, as they walked towards the waiting taxi.
Russell was scared to say anything in case he ruined the moment. He had always felt that Julian merely tolerated him because of his friendship with Noel. Yet here he was asking him over. “Sure” was all he managed to mutter.
The cab ride was silent, each looking out the window, Russell wondering if he had somehow misread the invitation. As the cab dropped them off at Julian’s flat and drove away, Julian shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged at Russell.
“You’ve gotta try new things sometimes, right?” Julian said, unexpectedly.
Suddenly, it all clicked into place for Russell. Julian wanted him to take charge. “Okay,” he thought, “if that’s what he wants, I’m just gonna go for it, cut loose.”
“Let’s head up.” Julian produced the keys to his flat and headed towards the front door.
Once inside, Julian closed the door behind them and they both stood awkwardly in the entrance. Russell leaned closely into Julian’s personal space and studied his expression, nodding slowly.
“I like your couch.”
“I think you should go stand behind it, bend over and put your hands on it.”
Julian eyes widened and he stood, frozen for a moment. Russell raised an eyebrow. “Well…?”
Julian gulped then walked over to the couch, obediently leaning forward and placing his hands on the headrest.
Russell moved slowly towards him, and then wandered around behind him, all the while watching intently. Julian’s eyes tracked him but he stayed very still.
Russell knew exactly what Julian wanted now and he wanted it too. He stood some way behind Julian, watching the rise of his broad shoulders as he breathing increased in rapidity.
“Maybe this was…” Julian began, starting to stand up.
Russell moved swiftly towards him, pressing his whole body along Julian’s warm back, forcing him to bend forward again. He placed his lips against Julian’s right ear and whispered low, “I didn’t say you could speak.” He brought one hand up to Julian’s chest and the other he ran down the side of Julian’s leg. Using his left thigh as leverage, he pushed Julian’s legs further apart.
Sliding his hand around Julian further, he followed the seam of Julian’s jeans, down then up again, with his index finger. Julian hummed deep in his chest and Russell felt the vibration in his groin.
Russell stepped back a little, wanting to prolong Julian’s anticipation. He stood just behind him, their bodies occasionally grazing against each other as his own groin swelled.
Julian closed his eyes and focused on the warmth of Russell’s jean-clad hips. As Russell pressed against him, Julian could feel his increasing erection. This, combined with the knowledge of what they were about to do, caused Julian to shiver slightly.
He heard Russell move away into the bedroom. Julian tucked his chin into his chest as he considered stopping the whole encounter.
“One thing you can count on,” Russell called from the bedroom, “is that the lube and condoms are always in the top drawer of the bedside table.”
Julian peered over his shoulder towards the doorway. Russell leant on the doorframe; lube in one hand, condoms in the other. He began flipping the tube slowly as he stared intently at Julian.
“Eyes forward,” Russell ordered, sternly. Obediently, Julian snapped his head back.
Russell was suddenly behind him again, gently pushing his bulging crotch against his rear.
“I’m guessing you haven’t done this before.”
Julian kept his head forward and nodded slightly.
“Poor Noel, always on the receiving end. You selfish Northern brute,” he said, a smile in his voice.
Julian’s cock twitched and strained against his clothing.
“You two aren’t that clever, all covert like,” Russell said as he reached around and undid Julian’s fly. He used his free hand to yank down Julian’s jeans and underwear.
“Don’t tense up, you’ll just make it more difficult on yourself.”
Julian found himself focussing on the feeling of the tube of lube pressed into his side as Russell steadied him. He felt it was an odd thing to focus on, given the situation.
Russell gently scraped his thumbnail up Julian’s perineum, enjoying the sharp intake of breath it prompted. He continued up, relishing the visible flexing of Julian’s muscles and the strange hiss of gratification his action prompted.
“Well, this is fun, isn’t it,” Russell said, sensing the roll of Julian’s eyes. He took the opportunity to unscrew the lid from the lube. Slicking his fingers, he bit his lip in anticipation of Julian’s reaction. Russell inserted one finger into Julian, quickly then, not allowing Julian a moment to recover, followed it by another finger.
At first, Julian’s body was rigid but as Russell worked his fingers inside him, Julian loosened and began a low moan, which Russell took to mean he was enjoying himself.
Russell removed his fingers and grabbed a condom that he’d let fall to the floor. Undoing his belt, he intentionally let the buckle jingle noisily. He had always preferred being the subject of someone’s sexual attentions but now he could see the appeal of a dominant role. The power he felt at that moment was intoxicating, having someone completely in your control; their ears straining to hear your every move, their skin prickling with every current of air.
He opened the condom packet and slipped it over his full erection.
“I imagine Noel puts up with a lot from you,” he said, teasing Julian with the tip of his cock. “It’s the beard,” he continued as he pushed the head his cock slowly into Julian, feeling him tense slightly. “I mean, I’ve got a beard but yours is…” Russell slowly petered off as he eased himself in further, hearing Julian’s deep groan. “Fuckable,” he hissed through his teeth, pushing his cock fully into him.
Julian gritted his teeth and winced at the feeling but, as Russell began to thrust in and out gently, he found his grimace fading, relaxing a little. Russell’s pace increased as he snaked a hand around Julian’s waist and found his erect dick. As they moved faster, Russell leaned forward along Julian’s warm back. He sunk his teeth into Julian’s shoulder through the fabric of his shirt, enjoying the grunt of pain his actions caused. Sensing Julian was close to orgasm, he increased the vigour of his hand-job.
Julian winced again but this time it was from sensory overload. His threw back his head as he came soundlessly, his mouth wide open. Russell wasn’t far behind him, gripping Julian’s waist tightly, groaning and swearing loudly.
Both men breathed heavily as Russell’s hand slid up Julian’s stomach, leaving a sticky trail.
“Hmph,” Russell breathed into Julian’s ear. He carefully pulled out and stood upright, admiring his handiwork as Julian slumped forward across the couch, prostrate and spent.
“This was a right laugh, Julian,” he smirked. He rolled off the condom and zipped up his skinny jeans, casually walking towards the doorway.
“I’ll be here the same time next week,” he said with a wide smile. Julian blearily looked up at him, furrowing his brow. Russell waved a hand expansively.
“I expect you to be in the same place waiting for me,” he called out, heading for the front door and closing it firmly behind him.