Trapped cabinets

A bit of fluff about Noel and Julian moving furniture.


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“So, are you coming over to help or what?”

“Yes Noel,” Julian sighed, “but don’t you think it’d be much easier to get some removalists in?”

“What a waste of money, when we can do it ourselves.”

Ourselves, he means I’ll do it and he’ll watch.

“Plus, it’ll be dead easy, down the lift, no troubles.”


“Okay, I think that’s physically impossible. If we got it in there, we can get it out.”

“Well it’s not moving, and I’m fucking knackered.”

Julian slumped down on the steps and tried to peer at Noel through a gap between the stairwell and Noel’s cupboard. They had started trying to move the beat up old thing 20 minutes ago. It hadn’t fit in the lift so they’d started to edge it down the stairs. Now it was soundly lodged in the first corner.


Julian couldn’t see Noel but he could tell the way he was thinking.

“Yes, please do call the removal people.”

Julian puffed and used his collar to wipe off the sweat from his forehead. Why did he let himself get roped into this sort of stuff? When it came to Noel he always got protective and always felt the need to help him out.

“It’s not my fault,” Noel whined, “just trying to save a bit of money. I am spending a small fortune on the new one.”

Julian could hear Noel shuffling around behind the cupboard.

“Why did I let you talk me into helping you?”

“Aw, because you love me really.”

Julian pondered this. Sure, he and Noel were friends, but why? They were so different, always bickering about silly things and fighting about big things.



“Jeez, don’t leave a man hanging when he says something like that. You’re meant to say ‘of course I love you, Noel’ not leave me dangling. I was sitting here like an idiot, thinking you don’t love me at all.”

“Don’t be stupid, you’re the most important person to me in the world.”

He is, he fucking is too.

“You big sap,” Noel said, but Julian could hear the smile in his voice, “you always try to be so hard but you’ve just a squishy puppy.”

“A puppy?”

“Yep, full of love and eager to please. No one can love you as whole-heartedly as a puppy.”

“That’s a bit patronising.”

Noel laughed again, “Well I guess it is, but I didn’t mean it that way I swear. I was just trying to say thank you and that I feel the same way. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“Pop star?” Julian grinned. “Or possibly crushed by this fucking huge cupboard as you tried to move it by yourself.”

“They should have that on a greeting card ‘without you I’d be flattened by my own furniture.’”

Julian smiled and found himself trying to catch a glimpse of Noel. He saw a quick flash of shadow and pictured his friend pacing animatedly.



“I love you too you know. Just in case you were wondering.”

Julian shrugged, trying to be casual about the situation, and then he realised that Noel couldn’t see him.

“Um, thankyou.”

“Thankyou? You berk!” Noel laughed. “Okay, I’m gonna head down so I can get to a phone. I’ll be back in a sec.”


Julian jumped as he felt something cold pressed against his back.

“Thought you might like a cold drink,” Noel said, waving a can of coke. “They’re on their way,” he said, sitting down next to Julian and resting his head on his shoulder. They both sat and stared at the cupboard. “Thanks for the help anyway. Even if now if my furniture is lodged in here forever.”

Julian laughed.

“It’s quite useful having your closet here, really. You can dress on your way out.”

“Hey, Julian.”


“We really have a strange relationship, don’t you think? I mean, look at us, professing our love for each other and snuggling up on the stairs.”

Julian breathed in deeply and moved his arm around Noel’s waist.


“You know, there’s only one thing I can say about this whole situation.”


“It’s a trapped cabinet, it’s a trapped cabinet…”

“Will it get out, can it get out?”

“Course it will!” they sung in unison as they held each other close.

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