Sue Does Not Approve of Your Tea
Category: Real Person Fic, Femmeslash
Characters: Dee Plume, Noel Fielding, Sue Denim
Pairing: Femmeslash, Dee Plume/Sue Denim
Genre: Fluff, PWP (porn without plot)
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Smut (graphic sex scenes)
Status: Complete
Length: 1-5k words
Notes: In my head, Dee is one of those freakish people who drinks vodka because she actually likes the taste of it. Hence her taking shots in the middle of the afternoon.
Sue Does Not Approve of Your Tea by Culumacilinte
‘Oh god, oh… fuck, fuck, fuck- ah!’
Sue writhed against the cushions of the sofa, her hands clinging to the fabric with rending force, bucking desperately into Dee’s mouth. Dee chuckled, and the hum of it vibrated against the folds of her sex, drawing a sharp gasp from the back of Sue’s throat. Dee was almost sadistic in her enjoyment of tormenting Sue, and delicately she circled the very tip of her tongue over Sue’s clit until Sue was whimpering helplessly. Tortuous warmth fizzed and burned in her abdomen and the walls of her cunt, and muscles fired randomly, sending her jerking against the touch of Dee’s lips and tongue.
‘Fuck, Dee!’
‘Hmm?’ Dee looked up, her eyes bright and wicked, and Sue very nearly moaned again when her tongue flicked out over lips pink and wet. ‘You want something, Suzy?’
She lazily trailed the fingers of one hand over the sharp angle of Sue’s hipbone, gazing up at her with entirely unconvincing innocence. Sue growled , and leaned forward awkwardly to haul Dee on top of her and kiss her furiously. One leg slid between Sue’s thighs as Dee adjusted herself atop the other woman, and Sue ground against it desperately, kissing open-mouthed and urgent. Dee tasted sour, the flavour of Sue’s own sex and the vodka shots she’d taken earlier mingling weirdly on her tongue.
The friction against Dee’s thigh wasn’t enough, though, and Sue mumbled her need incoherently in between breaths of air. Dee grinned, and then her hand was there, shoved between their bodies, her thumb skimming over the tiny hooded bud of nerves that was Sue’s clit, two fingers sliding easily inside her.
Dee grinned breathlessly, showing all her teeth. ‘You are a slut, aren’t you, Powell?’
Sue clenched around Dee’s fingers, her overstimulated nerves singing wildly, and she pulled back from the kiss, her mouth wide open and gasping for air, the pleasure like a desperate itch inside her. Dee curled her fingers inside Sue, back towards herself, until it was almost painful. She did it again, and once again, grinning down at Sue’s desperation until with a sudden surge, the sensation crashed over itself like a wave, and Sue came, pushing frantically against Dee’s touch, crying out.
After a moment to let her ride out the aftershocks, Dee pulled her hand away- with one last brush against Sue’s clit just to make her jump. Sue gave her a half-hearted glare, and Dee smirked back and seated herself spider-like on the top of the sofa, looking fondly down at Sue. Her hair was still fine and straight as ever, but it was spread all over the cushions in a tangled mess; her eyes half-closed and lips parted. She was still wearing a t-shirt, and one hand rested splayed across her belly; her bare legs were carelessly parted, electric blue knickers hanging off one ankle.
She was gorgeous all the time, of course, but Dee had a particular fondness for a post-coital Sue. It was, she reflected, a good look for her.
‘Fancy a cup of tea?’ She asked eventually.
On the couch, Sue grunted, burrowing further into the cushions. Dee snorted- Sue always had been the sleepy type after a good orgasm- and jumped over her prone body to head out to the kitchen. Her feet- one bare, one clad in pink and orange stripes- padded an uneven rhythm onto the kitchen floor and before long, she returned with two steaming mugs. Sue whinged, but Dee eventually coaxed her to sit up so she could take the other space on the couch and handed her a mug of tea. She took a sip and wrinkled her nose.
‘What is this?’
Dee raised an eyebrow at her. ‘Tea.’
‘What kind of tea, you loon.’
‘Dunno.’ Dee shrugged, taking an amiable sip. ‘Whatever Noel had in the cupboard.’
Sue shook her fringe out of her eyes, peering at the tea as though it had done her a personal injury. ‘Your boyfriend has bizarre taste.’
Dee scoffed. ‘Chuh. It’s Noel. When has he been anything other than bizarre?’
And Sue could do nothing but nod and take a sip of her unsatisfactory tea, because of course Dee was right.
Noel himself came home several hours later, fizzing over with excitement the way he sometimes got after a really excellent writing session. The reverberation of the slammed door carried through the foyer to where Sue and Dee were still lounging in what Noel and Dee affectionately called the living room, but which was really nothing more than a couch and a couple of chairs grouped ‘round a carpet. Sue had got dressed again, though her socks remained where they had been thrown across the room, and Dee was wearing only one of Noel’s larger t-shirts and a pair of knickers. Dee perked up as soon as she heard Noel enter.
‘Hoi, fucker!’ She yelled genially, ‘We’re in here!’
His smile when he greeted the two girls lying on the couch was dazzlingly bright. ‘Alright? You two had a good fuck?’
‘Mmm,’ they both nodded vague assent, smiling mischievously, and Noel shook his head with a tiny, snorting laugh.
‘Sue,’ Dee informed him solemnly, ‘does not approve of your tea. I expect you to do something about this.’
Noel blinked. ‘We have tea?’
‘Apparently.’
‘What is it?’
‘Buggered if I know.’ Dee shrugged. ‘Some all-natural rubbish. Yogi something.’
Brow furrowed into tiny lines beneath his fringe, Noel stared at the wall for a moment as if he could divine some meaning from it, before seeming to be struck by a memory. ‘Oh yeah! That, yeah. I didn’t buy that; Russell gave it to me.’
Sue blinked first at Dee, then at Noel. ‘Russell Brand?’
‘Mmm.’
‘He gave you tea?’
‘Well,’ Noel drew the word out to a ridiculous length, waving a vague hand, ‘you know he’s all into yoga and vegetablism and whatever. ‘Spect he thought I could do with a break from alcohol and caffeine. I’d forgotten all about that. We’ve Earl Grey above the microwave, I think, if Sue’s desperate for something more normal.’
And with that he wandered off upstairs. A moment passed, and then Sue burst out into giggles. ‘You two are so weirdly domestic in the most incredibly twisted way!’
Dee looked quite pleased with herself.
