Like Putting On A Glove
Category: The Mighty Boosh
Characters: Howard Moon, Vince Noir
Pairing: Howard Moon/Vince Noir
Genre: PWP (porn without plot)
Warning: Smut (graphic sex scenes)
Length: <1k words
Notes: written for mspotamus for the Boosh kink meme, with the prompt: “Awkward, super nervous first-time sex. Vince having to talk Howard through it and give him instructions and encouragement. Vince preparing himself before Howard fucks him and Howard watching.”
Like Putting On A Glove by accioarse
“Get off me, you spazzer! Your cock’s never gonna go in my arse like that!”
Howard fell back on the bed, confused. “But, Vince… You said you wanted me inside you… where else is my cock supposed to go?”
“You can be a right dimbat sometimes, Howard! You don’t just stick your cock straight up inside me! It’s not like putting on a glove!”
“No way! I’m not a bleedin’ fashion accessory! So use a little TLC!” Vince grabbed a tube. “And a good dollop of this.”
Vince shook his head. “Sometimes I worry about you, Howard.” He held the half-used tube up by his face and grinned. “This, my friend, is our ticket to a good, hard fuck.”
Howard whimpered. He thought he liked the sound of that.
“So I just squirt out some of this stuff… and put it down here… Christ, that’s cold!” Vince lay back on the bed. His already-straining cock stood out red and hard against his belly. Using two fingers, he measured out a length of lube and began rubbing it around his arsehole.
Howard watched as Vince squirmed before him. Without thinking, his hand moved to his cock.
Vince saw Howard touching himself. He smiled and widened his legs to give a better view. Teasingly, he slipped the end of one of his fingers in. “This is where your cock is going to be, Howard. It’s so hot and tight.”
“Guhhh,” said Howard.
Vince pushed his finger in deeper. He began to fuck himself on it, slowly, pushing his hips up with every thrust. He grinned at Howard. “And you can stop wanking yourself right now, you idiot! I need you to stay focused on fucking this.” And Vince ended by jolting his arse up towards Howard.
Wide eyed, Howard let go of his cock.
“That’s better. But still, I’m way too tight. That big cock of yours’ll never fit in here yet. Another finger…” Vince arched his back as he pushed it in.
Howard’s mouth was a dropped circle of lust.
“Three fingers,” gasped Vince, starting to sweat.
“Oh God, Vince,” breathed Howard.
Vince’s eyes were closed. “Oh God, I can’t wait. Do it now. Please, Howard—fuck me now.” His eyes flicked to the beside table and up to Howard. “Condoms…”
Howard found one.
“Carefully—just tear the edge.” Vince removed his fingers from his arse, gasping. “I’ll put it on. Here, let me do it.”
Howard trembled. He felt Vince’s nimble fingers rolling the latex down his cock.
“And some more lube on top of that. Nice and extra slidey for your first time—right? Can’t be bad?”
Howard nodded, unsure of why he needed it, but trusting Vince.
Then Vince lay back down upon the bed. He pulled Howard down on top of him, grabbing Howard’s cock and helping him into position. “Come, on then, Howard! I can’t fucking stand it any more! I need you! Fuck me!”
With a cry, Howard pushed in home.