Category: The Mighty Boosh
Pairing: Bob Fossil/Dixon Bainbridge
Genre: PWP (porn without plot)
Warning: Smut (graphic sex scenes)
Challenge: Challenge 02: Secondary Characters
Length: 1-5k words
I Want to See You in Your Office Instantly by thymeth
“Shut up. Shut up!” Fossil yelled at his employees, “Shut up already.” He looked around darkly and they seemed mostly to be paying attention.
“Right,” he said, “When Bainbridge comes through that gate, I want every single one of you chutney-brains to stand up straight, look lively and do what he tells you to. Is that clear?”
The green-clad group nodded and shuffled their feet.
“He’ll probably embrace me,” Fossil continued, “ ‘Cause we’re really good friends. That’s not a laughing matter, Howard Moon!”
“Sorry,” came the muffled reply.
“Good. Right. Are we ready? Yeah. Ok! Let’s do this!” He spun around and faced the gate.
He glanced at his watch. The short hand was on the two, the long hand on the five and that meant that… Fossil frowned, thinking hard.
That meant that they were twenty minutes early.
Finally, after what seemed an eternity, there was some commotion on the outside.
Fossil’s heart leapt as he heard that distinct, deep voice shouting something about cabbies in Africa driving him anywhere and giving extra services for less than a penny.
Heavy footsteps came closer, drowning the distant swearing.
The gate opened.
Fossil’s breath caught in his throat as his eyes met Bainbridge’s.
“W… w… welcome home, Bainbridge,” he stammered and took a few steps closer. Bainbridge scowled down at him, wrinkling his nose.
“I hope you had a good trip, pumpkin pillow.”
“Fairly,” Bainbridge snapped, “Get my baggage.”
“Sure, sweetie,” Fossil said and turned sharply to the rest of the staff, “Get the man’s bags. Hurry up, you lazy sods!” Two people shuffled forward and Fossil looked back up at Bainbridge. He was so handsome in his mucky safari shirt and ripped trousers. So handsome that Fossil could not help himself.
“Hug me, doll,” he shouted, flinging his arms around Bainbridge’s waist.
“I’ve missed you,” Fossil blurted out.
“Let go of me, you crazy man,” Bainbridge shouted, then added in a whisper, “Not here.” He shifted in Fossil’s arms, trying to loosen himself. Fossil gasped as Bainbridge’s erection rubbed shamelessly against his hip.
“You…” Fossil began.
“Shut up, man mountain!” Bainbridge snapped and broke free, grabbing Fossil’s shoulders and kneeing him in the groin, “I want to see you in your office instantly!”
Fossil clutched his groin, groaning. It had only hurt a little but he had to keep the act up.
Bainbridge strode away, his wide shoulders thrown back and hair shining in the sun.
He was too sexy for words.
“Close the door,” Bainbridge ordered as they entered Fossil’s office. Fossil did so and turned, only to be pushed back against it, Bainbridge’s thigh between his legs and hot mouth locked with his.
“Oh, god, I’ve missed this,” Bainbridge whispered breathlessly, his mouth moving down Fossil’s neck.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Fossil answered, his hands inside Bainbridge’s shirt, “I’ve hardly slept.”
Bainbridge’s fingers were fiddling with Fossil’s shirt buttons and Fossil was already growing hard, the pressure of Bainbridge’s leg against his groin driving him mad with desire.
“Oh, come on!” Bainbridge exclaimed, tugging at Fossil’s shirt.
“Screw it,” Fossil said, yanking Bainbridge closer, “I want you, adventure man.”
Bainbridge smashed him against the door again and kissed him violently, biting his lip. Fossil moaned, his knees almost giving way.
He unbuttoned Bainbridge’s shirt and pulled it off of his shoulders. The heat from Bainbridge’s chest overwhelmed him and the smell of grass and old sweat rushed straight to his groin.
“Take me now,” he gasped, his knees buckling again.
Bainbridge’s strong hands grasped his shoulders and pulled him away from the door and towards his desk.
“Oh, I’ll take you,” Bainbridge whispered in his ear, “So hard you’ll never forget it.” And he turned Fossil around and bent him down over his desk.
Fossil’s stomach wrenched in painful anticipation as Bainbridge pulled his trousers and pants off. He heard the drawer open and Bainbridge ruffling through it.
Then the fingers returned, cool and slippery. Fossil spread his legs almost without thinking. The wetness touched him, gliding over his skin, and Fossil pushed back against it.
“Please,” he moaned, hiding his face in his arms, “Please.”
But Bainbridge, the bastard, ignored his pleas and continued his much too slow-paced teasing.
Fossil was shaking when Bainbridge finally pulled his fingers to himself.
“Get set,” Bainbridge whispered in his ear, his chest hot against Fossil’s back. Fossil’s knees buckled again, expectation crashing through him.
And suddenly, violently, Bainbridge rammed into him.
“Oh!” Fossil exclaimed, his thighs aflame from being smashed against the desk.
Bainbridge grabbed hold of his shoulder, digging his fingers into his flesh as he thrust again, harder and deeper. The red-hot pain seared through Fossil again and again, Bainbridge setting a rapid pace. And yet… and yet it was so good.
Bainbridge was groaning somewhere above him and Fossil had lost all feeling in his legs, keeping himself upright only by leaning heavily on the desk. His eyes would not stay open and his stomach tighted with each thrust.
Then suddenly Bainbridge’s hand wrapped itself around his cock, hot and slippery. Fossil gasped with the sensation and came, violently, the orgasm crashing through him and leaving him completely broken.
Bainbridge reared up behind him and rammed him into the desk a final time, growling savagely and clawing at his skin with his nails.
Then there was silence.
“Oh, my god,” Fossil rasped, slowly lifting his heavy head, “That was… oh, my god.”
“Yeah,” Bainbridge said, sounding slightly distracted as he pulled away.
Fossil turned and saw Bainbridge zipping up his trousers.
“Do you wanna… y’know…?” he asked hopefully.
“Sure,” Bainbridge answered distantly, not looking at him.
“How about tomorrow?”
“Can’t. I have,” Bainbridge said with a frown, “an engagement.”
“Oh, right,” Fossil said, watching Bainbridge button his shirt, “Some other day, then?”
“Sure,” Bainbridge said, “I’ll, y’know. Whatever.”
“Sure, yeah. Great,” Fossil said, keeping his cool as Bainbridge made for the door, “Don’t forget, ok?”
“I won’t,” Bainbridge said, opening the door without looking at him, his free hand twisted into a fist. Fossil’s heart was beating wildly, Bainbridge’s words glowing in his mind.
“Cool!” he beamed as Bainbridge left the office, “That’s a date, honey pie!”
The door closed and Fossil clapped his hands in pure delight. He was going on a date with Bainbridge! And this time it was really happening! The other times, when Bainbridge had not called him even though he had promised, Fossil did not even remember.