Through the Haze

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What is it that Noel and Julian feel for each other? They can’t quite figure that out, or what they should do about it. These two have a long way to go together.

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Chapter Seven

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Chapter Seven

Julian smiled up at Kate as she rummaged through the register for his change. “How’s Oliver this week?”

She handed over a couple of bills, rolling her eyes and grinning. “Energetic.”

Julian chuckled, folding the money away in his wallet and taking his bags from the counter. “Terrible Twos.”

She laughed lightly, crossing her arms. “Terrible doesn’t quite cover it.” She glanced over to make sure there was no one waiting in line. “Are you boys still recording? I listened to episode five the other day.” She grinned again.

“Nah, one more left to air. Not too sure what we’re doing next.” He looked down at the bags in his hands, shuffling his feet.

“Well, I was wondering because I’m pretty sure there is more than one grocery store closer to your flat than this.” She raised an eyebrow, but her face was clear and pleasant, not mocking.

“Can’t resist those low, low prices!” Julian said after a moment, gesturing towards the obnoxious sign in the front window. It looked like someone had let a child go with a rainbow in hand. They both burst out laughing.

“See you next week, Julian,” she waved as he began walking off.

“Good luck with Ollie,” he said, nodding and winking.

Julian walked straight into the kitchen and began putting things in cupboards. He was just finishing up when he felt two hands snake around his waist and lips at his ear. “Where have you been?”

The hot breath made him shiver. There was no suppressing it, as much as he wanted to. Noel giggled softly. “Grocery store. I didn’t buy sweets.” He set the last thing on the shelf in front of him.

He could almost feel Noel rolling his eyes. “Liar. You always buy me my sweets.” He started nibbling at his ear and Julian just closed his eyes, tipping his head back slightly.

This is what it was. Noel sneaking up behind him to pinch his arse, plant a kiss on his cheek, or whisper sweet nothings in his ear. Well, it wasn’t just that. It was still them. It was them like they’d always been; giggling in corners, hovered close together, no one in on their little secret worlds. Whether they wanted them to be or not, no one else got it. It’s like when you’re a child and you make up a fantasy world with your mates. But even then, everyone had their own variations. Things were different colors, paths went left instead of right. It wasn’t like that for them; their worlds bled into perfect cohesion. It felt like there should be some boundary encasing their brains together from the rest of the population.

There had always been the elephant in the room. Ever since the moment they met. Or, maybe even before that. A big, fat elephant lurking in the corners at all times wherever they ventured. But they’d never ignored it. Close as they were, it was more than difficult to just pretend it didn’t exist. In fact, they frequented pointing it out. They’d randomly turn around to look at it, laughing and pointing their fingers in its face, almost taunting it. But that’s all it ever was. An elephant. Until they were fucking each other on the couch. The floor. The chair, the bed, over the table and against the wall.

It was nice actually. It had just been an elephant, but it had still loitered over their shoulders constantly. Now it was gone between them. To everyone else, though, it was still lumbering about as a huge attraction. Julian squeezed his eyes shut harder. He didn’t want to think about it. Let them keep pointing and laughing, they don’t need to know.

Julian reached up blindly to the very top shelf, grabbing the package he’d hidden there and poising it over his shoulder for Noel to take. “Jammie Dodgers. Better than Wagon Wheels.”

Noel took them, grinning and smacking a kiss over Julian’s cheek. “I was gonna go out with Dave and Nigel tonight. Are you coming?”

“Yeah, why not.” Julian shrugged, leaning against the counter across from Noel.

“Cool, you can put your arm around me possessively,” he said through a mouthful of biscuit before walking out to the living room.

Julian made a face at his back.

“You could have just kissed me in the club,” Noel said happily through heavy breath. He was pressed up against the front door of the flat, hair plastered to his forehead and the sides of his face with sweat.

Julian drew their lips together again hungrily. “No. This is better.”

Noel rolled his eyes, pushing Julian off. “What?!” Julian looked at him, annoyed, with his hands grasping Noel’s arms. “You didn’t have to tease me in the middle of a crowd like that.”

“Tease you?” Noel looked at him quizzically before laughing outright. “Which part teased you, exactly? When I was sitting down and talking, or when I was standing up and talking?” He crooked his head, suppressing more laughter.

“Oh please, you kept giving me looks!” Julian motioned to his own face, as if that would emphasize it.

Noel burst out laughing, kneeling over to rest his palms on his knees. “I was giving you looks because that girl kept hitting on me! I wanted you to help me get rid of her!”

Julian just stared down at him for a moment, his brow furrowed. Then he was laughing too, to the point that he couldn’t breath and decided to fall back and sit on the floor. Noel had sunk down the length of the door as well, and they sat there laughing themselves to tears.

Noel coughed and sighed, leaning his head back. “You’re ridiculous. I mean, you still should have kissed me. Would’ve gotten me out of my predicament!”

Julian leant forward, a wide smile still on his face. “Shh,” he whispered, taking his face in his warm hands and kissing him deeply. Noel put his hands over Julian’s, grasping them carefully as he slipped his tongue into his mouth.

“I didn’t think you were coming back.”

Julian smirked at Kate. It had been a little over a month since he’d been to this grocery store. Or any grocery store, really. “The misses has been doing all the shopping lately.” He winked, and that made Kate giggle.

“The way I’ve seen you two walking by, you’d almost think he was your misses!” She had a sweet peel of laughter that Julian liked hearing. But now he was just straining to keep his face in an expression that couldn’t be defined as grim.

“That’s been said alright,” he mumbled almost incoherently. “How’s your boy? Excited for Christmas?”

“I’m not sure he understands what it is yet,” she said, turning over the box in her hands to look for a place to scan.

Julian smiled now as he reached into his pocket. “Well, I thought he might like this.” He held out the small stuffed panda bear he’d bought in a shop down the road.

Her lips parted in surprise before forming a thoughtful smile. “Thank you,” she said, as though it were for her. She took it in both her hands and turned it over before letting it rest in her lap.

“No problem,” he nodded, handing her money. She exchanged it for his change in silence as he gathered the bags from the counter.

“Well, I’ll see you. You know, if the misses isn’t doing the shopping.” She smiled, her eyes nearly twinkling, and Julian returned it before turning to leave.

“I cannot believe you talked me into that.” Julian shook his head as he went to collapse on the couch.

“Oh, c’mon. It was genius.” Noel, beaming, climbed on top of him.

“Get off.” Julian swatted blindly at the air, hoping to make some contact with his face hidden in the arm of the couch.

“I wouldn’t mind that, but you are making it a bit difficult,” Noel laughed softly into his hair. He felt him lay a kiss there.

“Ha, ha. I just don’t think I belonged at Christmas dinner with the Fieldings,” he mumbled.

“What? My mum loves you though!” He pushed some of Julian’s hair away, searching for his face.

“Well, yeah. But it was a family thing, you know? I shouldn’t have gone.” Julian finally poked his face out into view, observing Noel from the corner of his eye.

“As if. Mike had his daft girlfriend there. Macy. What type of name is Macy? Well dull, I thought.” He kissed Julian’s nose and met his eyes again. “What?” He asked, puzzled.

“Dunno. Just… Did you tell them? About us?” He looked apprehensively at Noel.

Noel frowned. “No. You said keep it between us. I’ve kept it between us. As the king ordered.” He sat up, sliding off of Julian and perching himself on the bit of free cushion. Julian sat up too, massaging Noel’s shoulders and kissing his neck. He wanted to say something; anything to make him feel better. But he knew he had nothing. He knew what Noel wanted, but he wasn’t ready to give it yet. Six months? Had it been that long already? He looked around, almost wildly, trying to find a reason that could hold this off longer.

Noel was turning around then, grabbing Julian’s jaw and crushing their lips together. “It’s Christmas. Let’s not talk about it… Let’s not talk,” he breathed. He pushed Julian’s coat off and allowed his hands to roam beneath his shirt. Julian tried to find words – any words – that might make this better. But Noel kept shifting, kissing deeper each time, and his thoughts were getting very fuzzy. ‘New Years,’ he thought vaguely. ‘It could be my New Years Resolution. That’ll work.’ Then he was twining his fingers through Noel’s hair and falling back against the cushions.