Pucker Up, Sweet Lips!

Julian's tearing up inside until...


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Notes: Pst. This is my first attempt at writing Boosh fic. I’m not submitting it for the challenge, even though it is set on tour.

Pucker Up, Sweet Lips! by happy_alone

Julian watched from the side of the stage as Noel danced with a yeti, being swung around and lifted into the air. He loved this bit of the show, so ridiculous and yet so graceful. The way Noel’s big white coat flew round, the way the light played off the infamous mirrorball suit; it was like watching a ballet he liked to think.

Now it was his turn to swing Noel round in the air. He crept up to Noel, who was sitting ‘asleep’ on stage and tapped him on the shoulder. In a whirlwind of white Julian found himself briefly clasping at Noel’s lithe body when the smaller man leapt into his arms as Vince mistook Howard for the yeti. In that all too brief space of time something came over Julian.

Maybe it was the lights and the heat of the mink coat making him feel delirious, perhaps it was those beers he’d had before the show, it could even be that dodgy chicken he’d had at the restaurant earlier, but he felt something in his stomach drop.

Time seemed to slow down. Julian felt his hand on Noel’s firm behind and his own fingers curl slightly. Noel’s thighs rubbed briefly against his crotch and he felt himself burning up. This feeling was new, he’d never felt turned on by Noel before.

Or had he?

At the next opportunity Julian went to the toilet. He sat with his head in his hands trying to figure out what had come over him. Noel was a friend; he was like a little brother! Heck, they both had girlfriends, this just wasn’t right. But at the same time he just wanted so much to be with Noel, to feel his body against his own, all small and firm. He’d never felt this before he was sure. Surely he hadn’t. Julian racked his brains, he was certain of it.

But, he started to remember, what about that time when they were filming The Fountain Of Youth? When Noel was lying in the tent looking like the cat that got the cream. Julian was standing over him wearing only a loin cloth and some chains (“Ooh kinky!” he remembered Noel laughing). Noel had done that thing with the peacock feather, drawing it across his eyes and staring deeply into Julian’s eyes. He remembered feeling something, something down there and wishing the scene to end so he could try and hide his embarrassment. God, he’d wanted to pounce on him there and then, wanted to fuck him senseless. Julian flushed with shame at the memory, he thought he’d successfully put that behind him. He thought he’d blocked out the memory. This wasn’t helping, he was getting hot and flustered again.


“Julian, are you in there? You’re onstage in a minute!”

Shit, he thought. He’d have to see the pointy-faced love-devil again. But this time he would not let Noel get to him, he’d be professional and ignore the feeling within himself.

The show had gone really well. It was time for Old Gregg to jump out of the large parcel and surprise Howard. Julian was dreading it, it meant there would be a kiss between the two of them and he wasn’t sure he could cope. But no, he had to, he had to be professional about this and not let Noel know how much it was tearing him up inside.

The curtains closed. “You know what’s coming now, don’t you?” Noel asked, an evil glint in his eyes and he licked his lips. To anyone else it would have looked disturbing, as Noel was in full Old Gregg garb. But to Julian it was unbearable, he wanted so much to run over to him and pick him up, swing him round again and never have to put him down.

Noel walked over to the centre of the stage to join Julian shortly before the curtains were to open again to reveal Howard and Gregg ‘kissing’. “Pucker up sweet lips!” Noel whispered and lent in towards Julian. The curtains opened and gasps of glee could be heard from the audience as Howard and Gregg were caught kissing.

And all of a sudden Julian realised something. This kiss was different. Noel meant this kiss. Julian almost collapsed when he felt a tongue slip all too momentarily into his mouth. Of course the whole thing was over in a second as Gregg and Howard separated after being caught. Yet as they came apart Noel lent into Julian’s ear and whispered before dancing away giggling.

Julian was gobsmacked and it took him several seconds to realise just what Noel had said to him, “Don’t think I didn’t feel you grope my bum earlier, you sexy minx!”. Julian smiled, his grin broadening hopelessly and he couldn’t think of anything else. Maybe they did have a chance after all!

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