Green Hours

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Noel is being offered up like a prize and Julian isn't sure he can refuse. Julian/Noel with Ringmaster Russell Brand. The second and final part is now up.

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Notes: Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. No offense is meant.

Green Hours by jeudi

[nextpage title=”Chapter 1″]
Chapter 1

“I have company,” Noel tells him as soon as he opens the door.

“Will I embarrass you in front of your friends?” Julian asks with a smile. He is momentarily thrown by Noel’s dull greeting. For all his quirks, Noel is generally a predictable creature, at least where his interactions with Julian are concerned. Despite his seeming reservations, Noel still gestures Julian inside and takes his coat.

He’s not sure what he expected, Chris and the girls, maybe, or just some of the endless unfamiliar names in Noel’s mobile, but certainly not Russell Brand, one ankle resting on a knee and his arm draped lazily along the back of the sofa.

“Julian Barratt,” Russell exclaims excitedly, half-rising to grasp Julian’s hand and squeeze it briefly. “Lovely to see you. I rudely dropped in on Noel unannounced. I hope I’ve not inconvenienced any plans.” Russell talks too quickly for Julian to do anything but smile wanly. Looking oddly baleful, Noel drops to sit next to Russell, gangly and theatrical, like his scarecrow frame has suddenly crumpled.

Julian takes a seat uneasily, the coffee table a safe barrier between them. Russell and Noel are sitting very close, their thighs pressed together. He tries to catch Noel’s eye, to get some nonverbal clue to explain his strange behaviour, but Noel is staring resolutely down at his fingers picking at the sofa’s upholstery.

The babies won’t stop crying, he wants to say. They are strange and terrifying and he just wants to be with Noel who is strange and beautiful and familiar, but with Russell here he has to stay polite and sewn-shut. He clears his throat, a nervous tic, and two sets of eyes are on him expectantly.

“What’s… what’s, uh, going on?” He asks hesitantly when it becomes apparent that Noel and Russell are going to do nothing more than stare at him cattishly. He leans unconsciously towards Russell, finding his smug confidence a bit more reassuring than Noel’s restlessness.

Noel fidgets and looks at the floor, chewing nervously on his thumb. His new haircut makes it even easier for him to hide behind his fringe. Though he’s used to the ever changing ridiculousness of Noel’s hair, this new style makes Julian uncomfortable. He thinks it’s perverse how the older Noel gets, the more he resembles a naughty child.

He sometimes feels faintly betrayed that Noel is no longer the person he fell in love with, though he knows it’s silly to think that a decade wouldn’t touch him in any way. Noel presents a reasonable facsimile of his old self when they are alone together, and Julian had been hoping for that comfort today, but instead he feels he’s stumbled into something far over his head.

Noel mumbles unintelligibly around his finger. “I believe what Noel is trying to say, Julian Barratt,” Russell says archly, hands pressed together in a mockery of a prayer pose. “Is that we were in the midst of a little game, and we thought perhaps you might join us.”

His voice is full of dark promise and Russell Brand has always conjured up vague images of brothels and fetish objects and illicit sexual encounters in Julian’s mind. He looks desperately to Noel, but Noel is staring at Russell, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, shoulders quaking slightly with quickened breath.

“I’m told,” Russell says dramatically. “That this is a game what you two used to play.”

Julian has a horrible, sinking feeling that he knows what Russell is referring to. He’s suddenly aware of Noel looking at him with keen interest. Taking a deep, calming breath, Julian tries to stay the deluge of images that threatens to overcome him—like half-remembered wet dreams he only allows himself to recall briefly and namelessly when he is close to orgasm, mistakes borne of too much alcohol, too much time, things that Julian has put safely behind him now that he is an adult, a father.

To think that Noel has shared these secrets with Russell brings a vile, acidic taste to Julian’s mouth. To think that Noel has shared himself with Russell (wiry bodies, grinning mouths, malicious nymphs tangled up in each other) makes heat course through Julian’s veins.

He sees something imploring in Noel’s expression and Julian feels a terrible helplessness take hold of him. He is terrified of the day that Noel realizes he could ask for everything and get it. For so long he has been dependent on Noel to bring magic and whimsy to his world, and to risk losing him is to risk draining his life of all colour.

His silence seems to be taken for compliance and Russell grins vaingloriously. He claps softly and Noel pricks up like a trained animal. Embarrassment and jealousy flush Julian’s cheeks and his eyes dart away from the pair across from him.

“The rules, such as they are, are quite simple,” Russell says, recapturing Julian’s attention. His tone becomes firm and instructional. His teeth flash dangerously and Noel visibly tenses like he knows what’s coming. “Fielding does what I say,” Russell concludes with obvious pleasure, jerking his thumb in Noel’s direction.

The situation has rapidly deteriorated into something over which Julian has no control, the reins so securely in Russell’s hands that Julian can only gape, dumbfounded, and sit frozen in place. Noel is being offered up like a prize or a simple treat and he’s not sure he can refuse when he trusts, however inexplicably, that Russell will skilfully steer them through the proceedings and the aftermath.

“Noel,” Russell begins, touching an intimate hand between Noel’s shoulder blades. His voice is suspiciously sing-song and Julian swallows audibly. “Why don’t you get on your knees?”

A slight whining noise claws its way out of Noel’s throat and hangs in the air heavily. He crosses his arms across his chest and looks defiantly down at his silver boots. Julian finds all the saliva has fled his mouth and he knows Noel is the one who will decide the outcome of this encounter.

“Breaking the rules already?” There is an implicit warning in Russell’s words and Noel huffs in resignation at the same moment that Julian lets out the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding.

“Alright, alright,” Noel grouses, thudding to the floor with deliberate gracelessness.

Russell is immediately again benign and cheerful. “As you might imagine, Julian,” Russell says good-naturedly, “Noel is rubbish at this game.”

Noel shuffles forward on his knees, moving awkwardly around the coffee table. As if possessed, Julian rises and takes the short few steps to meet him. Noel’s hands creep to Julian’s belt and he grins up at Julian who can think of nothing to say to his guileless expression. Noel’s smile is warm and only for the two of them and Julian can’t help but touch Noel’s cheek lightly in gratitude.

There’s no forgetting they are not alone, though. Russell reclines along the length of the couch in perfect repose. The entire encounter is so forcibly staged that all of Julian’s better intentions flee in the presence of such blasé sexual bartering. He is almost angry at Noel for allowing himself to be used so cheaply, but all he can do is breath shakily as Noel undoes his trousers and tugs them, along with his underwear, down to his ankles.

His cock is touched with something that could be either uncertainty or reverence. Julian makes a noise, half-stifled and ashamed as Noel starts to stroke him. Their previous indiscretions were always rushed, fuelled by alcohol and adrenaline. Noel’s caresses are slow and deliberate and Julian thinks bitterly that Russell must want a good show.

“Go on,” Russell cuts in when Julian has produced a half-hearted erection, too uncomfortable under Noel and Russell’s scrutiny to be fully aroused. Noel frowns but keeps his eyes on Julian as he leans forward and his tongue flickers out to lick the underside of Julian’s cock.

Julian chokes on a gasp and clutches compulsively at Noel’s shoulder. He hazards a glance at Russell who looks enraptured and overly pleased with himself. Noel appears to be considering the matter at hand quite carefully and Julian has to close his eyes because he feels like an insect pinned under glass.

Unable to see it coming, the shock of Noel’s mouth surrounding him makes Julian moan aloud. A hand curls around him to compensate for what Noel can’t take and then it’s all wet, messy heat that weakens Julian’s knees and takes him far away from the reality of what’s happening. He hates himself for becoming some mindless beast driven by lust, but he just wants to shove forward, to claim more of this uncharted territory.

Noel’s movements are arrhythmic and sloppy with saliva. It’s clearly a struggle for him and sympathetic mortification wars viciously with desire in Julian’s mind. Pulling away, Noel licks his lips, so red and glistening with moisture that Julian groans, and blinks blearily up at him. Cold air prickles his sensitive nerves and Julian instinctively curls a hand around the back of Noel’s head, trying to subtly urge him to continue. Russell chuckles deprecatingly and Julian suddenly finds it much easier to force Noel back down onto his cock.

He wants to cling to the illusion that he is angry with Noel—for involving him in this, for involving himself with Russell, for being so available when Julian can’t be as strong as is required, but he’s really only angry with himself because he’s harder than he’s ever been in his life, because he’d gladly follow Noel and Russell down any path they wanted as long as it meant he could have more of this.

“Mind your teeth,” Russell says and as much as Julian resents his intrusive presence, he is thankful that Russell is there to guide them calmly. Without him, this would all be too terrifying and unfamiliar. Blaming him helps Julian keep his fear at bay, allows him to be reprehensibly passive as Noel bobs his head obediently.

He shamefully imagines Russell teaching Noel how to suck cock, coaxing him through initial refusals and hesitant first-attempts. A peculiar sense of possessiveness grips him and he tightens his hold on Noel. Wide blue eyes peer up at him slyly, like Noel knows, as ever, exactly what Julian is thinking. Julian wants to reassure Noel and himself that he would never make Noel do this, but he is, with every spasm of his arm that twitches Noel another inch further.

It seems unsafe to look at his own hand tangled in Noel’s hair, even less safe to look at Russell—his eyes bright and intense and fixed on them. It seems impossible that this is really him, pressing Noel ever closer, making him take Julian’s cock deeper. With one unforgiving thrust he is in Noel’s throat and Noel gags and splutters and his untutored coarseness is too discomfiting to think about.

Noel bravely tries again, his mouth immediately returning to Julian’s erection, the cavern of it already achingly necessary and familiar. The soft bed of Noel’s tongue makes Julian think of overripe fruit, cloyingly sweet and sticky.

A moan reverberates around Julian’s erection and his knees buckle and he digs his fingers harder into the tender flesh that covers Noel’s skull. He glances down and realizes that Noel’s spare hand is in his own jeans and that he’s jerking himself off roughly. The sight is somehow comforting to Julian, knowing that Noel wants this. It puts Russell into the safer realm of voyeur rather than overseer.

His cock slips out of Noel’s mouth and Noel presses his forehead to the crease of Julian’s thigh, panting harshly. One hand is still around the base of Julian’s erection, the other working between his own thighs. He shudders and makes the most beautiful sound Julian has ever heard and he wishes he could see, but he just feels some of Noel’s cum dripping down his leg and then the air is stiflingly silent except for Russell’s faint murmur of approval.

After a moment Noel turns his attention to Julian with a renewed zeal. Noel’s tongue swirls around the head of his cock and Julian can feel pleasure building to an inevitable peak. His breath huffs out of him and he tries to warn Noel but he feels like his power of communication, like everything that made him human, has all retreated.

“He’ll swallow,” Russell says casually. Julian balks at how surreal it is to have Russell informing him of this as if Noel is some anonymous stranger. He thinks Noel whimpers, but he’s too far gone to tell. Noel ducks his head closer and all Julian can see is the sheen of his black hair and the tenseness of his shoulders. Noel’s hand presses warm and supportive against Julian’s lower back. Julian thinks of all he is depended on for at home. He thinks of the way his life has been streamlined and reordered by fatherhood and it is surprisingly easy to let Russell tell him to come down Noel’s throat.

Clever fingers brush against his entrance, not pushing in, but just resting there in a sly insinuation and then Julian’s hand jerks in Noel’s hair and he comes. Russell is leaning forward, enthralled, his hands clasped between his knees—knuckles white with the strain of his excitement.

Once Julian has softened fully, Noel pulls away, semen smeared obscenely at the corner of his lips. He stands, his balance shaky, and goes to clean himself off, a blush painting his cheeks bright red.

As his senses stop buzzing, Julian realizes that Russell is still staring at him. He self-consciously hitches his trousers back up and shifts his weight awkwardly, unsure whether he should bolt or sit back down. Russell’s composure is strangely reassuring and Julian drops wearily into the chair. It bothers him, being left alone with Russell, but he dreads facing Noel after what they’ve done.

“Next time,” Russell says, a bit breathless, “You can fuck him.”

Julian’s heart skips at the thought. He knows with absolute certainty that there will be a next time, that he has no possible defence against this. He lets himself imagine it—Noel on his back on the floor, the carpet rubbing his skin raw, legs tight around Julian’s waist. Would Russell join in, he wonders, or again remain aloof. He is sure that the questions, the possibilities will plague him sleepless until he is allowed, no, forced to act his part in Russell’s fantasies.

Noel returns to perch on the arm of the sofa. He looks at Julian levelly and Julian feels like he’s being smothered. Sighing, Noel stands and walks over to him, tugging Julian to his feet by his sleeve and wrapping his arms tight around Julian’s torso. One of Julian’s hands strokes Noel’s hair, the other rests on his slender waist. He sees over Noel’s shoulder that Russell is watching them, unabashed and benevolent.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” Noel says softly. “We’ll get some work done.”

Julian kisses Noel’s temple and he can feel Noel sag with relief in his hold. He wants to prolong the moment, knowing that this in itself is a rare opportunity, but Noel carefully extricates himself and turns back to Russell. He looks very much like a schoolboy expectantly awaiting praise and Julian feels his stomach turn.

Russell gets up and slings his arm over Noel’s shoulders. “Exquisite,” Russell says quietly, his mouth pressed to Noel’s cheek. Noel smiles unsteadily and runs his hand through his hair. Russell reaches over and curls his hand around Julian’s upper arm and Julian finds himself quite at a loss.

“I should be going,” he says uncertainly. Noel nods and goes to retrieve Julian’s coat, his regular aura of confidence cloaking him. Julian smiles affectionately, even knowing that the all seeing Russell is sure to catch it.

“Perhaps you’d like to offer me a ride home,” Russell says genially.

Taken aback, Julian nods dumbly. They both embrace Noel before they go—Russell first and then Julian. Noel clings to him, reluctant to let him go. A kiss, soft but persistent, is pressed to his mouth and Julian knows that something vital has shifted, is reshaping the world in drastic ways and he is absurdly grateful when Russell touches his shoulder and tells him they have to leave.

In the car, Russell moves the seat back and crosses his feet on the dashboard. Julian is surprised to see that Russell is wearing worn Converse sneakers rather than the cowboy boots he expects. He realizes suddenly that he doesn’t really know Russell at all.

The first half of the ride is silent save for Russell telling Julian where to turn. Julian keeps turning the afternoon’s events over in his mind, carefully cataloguing the details, trying to round out the parts that mystify him.

“Go on then,” Russell says after a while. Julian glances at him out of the corner of his eye and sees that Russell is smiling at him.

“What?” He says crossly, hating how at ease Russell seems. Russell just cocks his head and looks at him knowingly. “How long have you been sleeping with Noel?” Julian finally asks grudgingly. It’s difficult to admit that Noel had shut him out of something.

Russell laughs, full and gratingly loud, but strangely without a hint of mocking. “I’m not sleeping with Noel,” he says, a mouthful of teeth and gums bared in amusement. “Never have.”

He feels his world tilt on its axis and Julian is thankful that he has the road ahead of him to concentrate on. “Then what the fuck was all that?”

“That was Noel giving you a blowjob, as he has wanted to do for quite some time.” Russell’s tone is patronizing and Julian’s jaw clenches in irritation. “I’m just helping you compartmentalize,” Russell says, drawing out the word. “Selfless, ain’t I?”

Julian is suddenly cast adrift, unsure of everything, finding that nothing is as structured or ordered as he thought. He can think of nothing to say, the words all sticking in his throat. Russell hums to himself and looks out the passenger window, leaving Julian to his turbulent thoughts.

He pulls up in front of Russell’s house, vaguely registering Russell saying, “Isn’t it nice? I bought it not too long ago.” Russell chuckles when Julian doesn’t respond and leans over to give Julian a peck on the lips. “Next time,” he says, a promise, a threat, and then he is out of the car, walking jauntily to his front door.

Julian sits there for a very long time, sure that Russell is watching him and smirking from the window. When his hands are finally steady enough, he drives home.

[nextpage title=”Chapter 2″]
Chapter 2. Blue Roads

After a handful of sessions they’d moved things to Russell’s place. That, more than anything, impresses upon Julian that this is not going to stop any time soon. It becomes a regular, albeit strange part of Julian’s life, something that has to be planned, coordinated to fit everyone’s schedules. Russell jokes that they’re going to have to start going through his PA because it’s far too complicated for him to figure out on his own.

Ever diligent, Russell observes with a critical eye and makes silent, decisive decisions about what Julian is ready for as Julian and Noel gradually become more and more acquainted with each other’s bodies. Despite Russell’s breathless promise, they have yet to move on to penetration, though the inevitability of it looms large. Things progress and Julian starts compiling a catalogue of things Noel likes, detached notes he keeps in the back of his mind to no specific purpose or end. Julian and Noel never speak of it when they aren’t with Russell, a silent agreement between them.

Russell gives them little freedoms now. He’ll get up to make phone calls, to feed his cat, leaving them to their own devices for snatches of time. It makes Julian feel even more exposed and embarrassed than usual to have Russell going in and out, going about his daily business when he’s on Russell’s floor with his mouth or his hand on Noel’s cock.

They convene one afternoon when Julian and Noel are supposed to be writing. Noel answers Russell’s door when Julian rings the buzzer. He greets Julian with a peck on the lips as has become habitual for him. Julian is always last to arrive and it makes him uneasy to think of Russell and Noel conspiring together, partners in the slow procession of Julian’s downfall.

Julian catches a glimpse of Russell in the kitchen, but Noel takes his hand and leads him to the living room where a dark blue blanket is laid out on the floor for them. Noel drops to sit cross-legged, still clutching Julian’s hand to pull him down as well.

“Hey,” Noel says, mouth curving into a happy grin. His fingers press gently against Julian’s jaw as his other hand begins unbuttoning Julian’s shirt. When he’s finished, he uses both to push Julian’s jacket and shirt off his shoulders.

“Hi,” Julian breathes, slightly stunned by Noel’s eagerness. What he really wants is to talk. It’s been a little while since he’s seen Noel and it would be nice just to chat and laugh and catch up, but Noel is kissing his neck and sliding closer to better remove Julian’s clothes.

“Should we?” Julian starts to say when Noel has successfully bared his upper body. A light touch ghosts over his ribs and Noel looks at him with an indecipherable expression.

“Yes,” Noel says with certainty, pushing Julian onto his back. Julian goes unresistingly. He enjoys the feel of Noel’s weight on top of him as Noel scrambles up to kiss him. Noel kisses like a teenager, sloppy and clumsy and with endearing enthusiasm. Julian doesn’t do much more than lie there with his hands on Noel’s arse, his mouth open while Noel has a go at him.

Flushed and grinning, Noel sits up and scrubs his hand over his lips. Shuffling back over Julian’s legs, he reaches to undo Julian’s trousers and work them down enough to free Julian’s cock. He’s already getting hard, practically a Pavlovian response at this point. It doesn’t take much stroking to get him fully aroused, and then Noel ducks down and takes the head of Julian’s cock into his mouth, continuing to work the shaft with his fist.

A strangled groan escapes Julian and Noel glances up at him with twinkling eyes, so childishly proud that he’s gotten good at this. He edges his lips farther down and plays his tongue along the underside and Julian gasps, hips hitching up towards that warmth.

Just then, Russell walks into the living room, chatting animatedly on his mobile. He sits on the sofa and puts his feet on the coffee table. “What must you think of me, Matthew?” He mock-sighs into the phone. Julian stares at him, dumbfounded and a bit affronted. Russell catches his eye and winks. “I didn’t!” he laughs, “I didn’t fuck her. We discovered a beautiful spiritual connection that has not yet led to sex.”

“Turn around,” Julian hisses at Noel as Russell’s chatter continues, shaking his shoulder insistently to get his attention. Noel pulls off of Julian’s cock and swallows thickly. The look in his eyes is glazed and uncomprehending. “Turn around,” Julian says again, trying to indicate with his hands what he wants.

“Oh,” Noel says, “Oh.” He smiles in surprised pleasure and lumbers into position. When it’s in reach, Julian grabs his thigh and tries to hasten the process. Russell watches with an amused expression, his end of the conversation petering out. Once he’s on all fours above him, Noel goes back to sucking Julian’s cock with abandon.

A bit more inhibited, Julian takes Noel into his mouth slowly. He means to distract himself, whether from Russell’s presence or his inattentiveness he isn’t sure. He’s not as practiced as Noel, still finds it all a bit overwhelming—how hard he should suck, being careful not to scrape sensitive flesh with his teeth, figuring out what to do with his tongue when it suddenly seems like there’s not enough space in his mouth.

Every time Noel moans in appreciation, the echoing vibrations make Julian do the same. Julian marvels at the cyclical pattern they develop—Noel surging forward as Julian lets his head fall back to inhale sharply and then Noel licking Julian’s cock while Julian tries to emulate his superior technique.

“Yeah, I’m still here,” Russell says absent-mindedly, his voice a little uneven. “No, I’m not wanking, Matt, Jesus.” He gets to his feet and goes back to the kitchen to finish his call as Noel’s muffled noises rise in volume, though Julian can tell it’s unwillingly by the long pause between each click of his heels against the floor.

Julian doesn’t usually swallow, but in this position Noel’s cum is just going to get all over him and he doesn’t really relish that idea. He tells himself that he can do it if Noel can and attempts to relax his throat and let Noel’s cock slip deeper. It still seems strange to him that he can tell exactly when Noel is about to come, some indefinable energy that pulses between them.

Resolutely clinging to Noel’s hips, Julian shudders, but doesn’t recoil when the first spurt of semen hits his tongue. He’s not thrilled at the taste, but it’s not too awful getting it down. Noel rolls onto his side when Julian lets him go, making soft, breathy noises. His hand is around Julian’s erection to finish him off, and Julian pushes up into his fist, slick with sweat, and comes.

Noel crawls up to face him and, grinning, presses quick, damp kisses to Julian’s mouth. There’s an unfamiliar expression on Noel’s face, something Julian has only begun to notice recently. It makes his stomach churn uneasily. Noel seems to come back to himself suddenly, and he pulls away to sit cross-legged next to Julian’s shoulder, looking contrite.

Julian glances over to see that Russell is in the room again, standing behind the sofa and leaning forward with his hands braced on the back of it. He straightens when he meets Julian’s eyes. “Now then,” Russell says, doing a full body stretch, his arms reaching towards the ceiling. “For the next bit.”

Noel grins at him, a sidelong, sly look. “Think you can get it up again, old man?”

Julian chuckles, too dazed to come up with a response. He almost feels comfortable for a moment, relaxed, but then Russell jumps over the back of the sofa to settle on the cushions, giving Noel a nod. At the gesture, Noel grasps Julian’s arm and urges him up into a sitting position, avoiding eye contact. His nose bumps against Julian’s cheek in an indecisive gesture and then Noel gets on his hands and knees facing away from Julian.

He looks to Russell, his mouth slightly agape. “I told you that you were going to fuck him,” Russell says with a lascivious eyebrow raise. “And you’re going to be his first,” Russell continues nonchalantly, stretching out on his back, arm dangling off of the sofa, his fingers tracing idle, festooning patterns on the carpet. “Best try to make it good. He saved it for you.”

“Shut up,” Noel snaps, sounding almost feral. His hands clench around the blanket and Julian can see his shoulders tense in mortification. Julian turns his eyes to Noel’s backside. It’s not an unappealing thought, but it’s never been more than a vague idea in Julian’s head, nothing fleshed out, nothing as solid and real as Noel spread before him like this.

A smug little smile twists Russell’s features. “He uses toys, you know,” Russell says, “Imagines they’re real cocks—your cock, in fact.”

“Stop,” Noel says, his voice raised and his face flushed a bright red. Embarrassed, Julian rubs Noel’s back comfortingly, but Noel stiffens and cringes away.

Russell studies Noel for a moment. “Relax,” he finally says coolly. Noel grits his teeth, but he seems to calm, turning his face towards the floor. Russell reaches down by the side of the couch and then extends his arm to hold out a large plastic container of lubricant.

Taking it, Julian turns it over his in his hands. “What, you have economy sized?” He says with an incredulous laugh.

“Yeah,” Russell says with a bright smile. “It’s the most practical way to buy.”

Touching the back of Noel’s thigh, Julian tries to convince himself that this is really going to happen. Noel swivels his neck to look at him with a reassuring smile.

“You ever done this before?” Russell asks, shifting onto his side to better observe them, propping his head up on his hand.

Julian’s fingers skate up the curve of Noel’s buttock. He gives himself up by not answering and Russell chuckles knowingly. He doesn’t have to see Noel’s face to know that his brow is furrowed and that there will be questions later about things that Julian has never intended to share with Noel.

“Just use plenty of that,” Russell says, “And go slow.”

Self-conscious, Julian squeezes some lube onto his fingers. He doesn’t want to watch, but he can’t tear his gaze away from his finger slowly disappearing into Noel. As if sensing his unease, Noel doesn’t do more than inhale deeply, like Julian might spook at any moment. Experimentally, he thrusts his finger in and out and Noel, still staying reserved, sighs.

“Can you feel how good it’s going to be?” Russell says softly. “Add another one,” he instructs without waiting for a response.

It’s nothing Julian hasn’t felt before—that muscle stretching for him, all hot and tight around his fingers, but it’s overwhelmingly new because it’s Noel he’s touching like this, made even more bizarre by the fact that he can tell that Noel is enjoying it. At Russell’s order, he takes his time, so long that the act becomes mechanical.

Trying to block out everything but his current task, he doesn’t hear Russell getting up and kneeling behind him. When he feels Russell’s breath against his neck he jerks in surprise and Noel makes a sharp noise, startled at the jolt it gives him.

Russell curls a hand around Julian’s cock and starts stroking him gently. Dumbfounded, Julian can’t help his hips stuttering forward into Russell’s grasp. “You ought to be enjoying yourself,” Russell says quietly. Julian almost shakes his head, but instead he just bites his lip and closes his eyes, feeling the occasional brush of cloth against his skin as Russell’s arm moves.

Once Julian is hard, Russell kisses the back of his neck and retreats to the sofa. Jarred by the unprecedented occurrence of Russell touching him, Julian finds it near impossible to regain his focus. He feels heat rising in his cheeks, suddenly certain that he’s doing a clumsy job and that he looks ridiculous. He thinks of putting a stop to this before it goes any farther, of collecting his clothes and pride and walking out, but then Noel arches his back like a cat and moans and Julian’s resolve crumbles.

“Are you ready?” Russell says, and Julian starts to flinch before he realizes the question is directed at Noel.

“Yeah,” Noel says, his voice low and dreamy and stripped raw and unlike anything Julian has ever heard from him. “Fuck yes.”

“I assume you know what you’re doing, Julian?” Russell says archly. A vague sort of anger prickles under Julian’s skin. There’s nothing false about Russell’s insinuation, though it’s been a long time since Julian’s college experimentation.

One hand resting on Noel’s lower back to keep himself grounded, Julian slathers a good amount of lube onto his cock, lingering there to stall for time. Noel twitches restlessly and then turns around to stare at him. “It’s okay,” he says bluntly, “Really, Ju.”

He is, as ever, calmed by Noel’s confidence, and he lets Noel be his strength and his spine as he places his hands on Noel’s hips and moves into position. He can sense that both Noel and Russell are holding their breath and he doesn’t like the pressure of the moment being put on him like this. It’s that horrible mounting anticipation, really, that’s the impetus for him to work his cock inside of Noel with careful, insistent pressure.

Noel gasps and jerks forward and Julian instinctively tightens his grip to keep Noel steady as he continues his slow penetration. He has to stop when he’s a little more than half way in and just breathe, trying to keep himself from coming apart at the seams.

“How is it, Barratt?” Russell asks with a slight smile.

“Good,” Julian chokes out, flushed and breathless. He runs his hand up Noel’s spine and grasps his shoulder. He’s thought about this, of course, ever since Russell had put the prospect in his head, but the reality of it is far more devastating than he could’ve imagined.

He’d assumed that Russell was lying to wind Noel up, but Noel is so tight around his cock, mewling with each shift of Julian’s hips, that Julian feels alarmingly light-headed thinking Noel really might not have done this before. He feels bad, suddenly, that they’re not in a more intimate position, but strangely relieved at the same time.

Starting to thrust shallowly, Julian feels oddly touched when Noel tries his best to push back against him. They fall in sync with each other, a bit jerky and graceless, but complementary all the same.

“Give him some feedback, Fielding,” Russell says after awhile. Julian spares him a glance. He’s watching them closely like he’s not sure quite what to make of them and Julian wants to ask him what he’s getting out of this, but the entire situation is already too much without Julian having to think of Russell as anything but a guard dog.

“Ju,” Noel rasps. He doesn’t need to say anything else. Russell, thankfully, accepts that, and doesn’t press him. Even without commentary, it’s enough that Russell is there, otherwise Julian would fear losing himself completely.

He feels like they spend an eternity like this—just the slide of skin and harsh pants shuddering in the room. Julian feels a trickle of sweat trail down his back. He keeps thrusting until Noel is begging for more, begging to come, writhing for him shamelessly, and Julian is afraid, terrified that he can’t give him what he needs.

“You could give him a hand,” Russell says gently, breaking through the fog.

Julian bites his lip and reaches around Noel’s hip to grasp his cock. The reaction is instant. Noel chokes out a sob, forehead pressed to the floor as the rest of his body pushes up. A spasm wracks his limbs, everything tense and tight and then Julian feels Noel’s cock throb and a rush of semen spilling over his fingers.

It’s a tough act to follow, and his own orgasm feels a bit like an afterthought, taking hold of him suddenly and over too quickly. It still takes a long while for him to recover, though, his pulse wildly out of control and his fingers unwilling to release their purchase in Noel’s skin.

Noel whimpers when Julian’s cock slips out of him, and collapses gracelessly onto the blanket. Instinctively, Julian follows him down and curls around Noel, his chest flush to Noel’s back, their knees slotted together neatly. The moment stretches on and on and Julian would think Noel had fallen asleep except for Noel lazily stroking his forearm where it is draped around his middle. Russell politely excuses himself, only reappearing when they have separated and started pulling on their clothes.

They usually take separate cars when they leave, weighed down with the aftershocks of what they’ve done as they head to their separate destinations. They’re due at the office, though, some meeting about the possible film. Russell calls them a cab and then gives them each a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice while they wait. He chatters enough to keep things from being too awkward.

When they hear the car pull up, Russell escorts them to the door, so like a clucking mother hen, matronly and protective, that Julian and Noel exchange furtive grins. He kisses them both goodbye and tells them not to wait too long before they ring him up again.

“I expect he’ll start packing us lunches soon,” Julian says as they slide into the backseat.

“In paper bags with notes written on them,” Noel laughs. “Have a good day at school; don’t let the other kids tease you; remember Russell loves you,” he says in a high voice. Julian can’t tell whether he’s trying to sound like a middle-aged woman or Russell’s camp voice.

They fall quiet after that. Julian feels his fears dissolving. It’s not as bad, not as nerve-racking as he expected, at least until Noel edges his hand over to stroke Julian’s fingers with his pinkie.

“You know,” Noel says carefully. “We don’t have to do it with Russell.” Julian feels his stomach drop. Without Russell it would be an affair instead of just a game, a pantomime of desire. Julian needs the parameters that Russell sets for them.

“Forget it,” Noel says darkly when Julian stays silent too long. He wraps his cape about himself tighter and turns his head away to stare out the window.

Julian wants to reassure Noel, wants to promise him everything, but the words stay stopped up inside him. He squeezes his eyes shut and fears he’s ruined everything, feeling bile rise in his throat.

When he opens them again, Noel is sliding over to sit with their shoulders and thighs pressed together. “What kind of budget are we asking for?” He says offhandedly. Julian gawps inelegantly for a moment, but then the rush of relief he feels revives him enough to talk shop with Noel for the rest of the ride. While he speaks, he puts his hand on Noel’s knee and squeezes and knows that it will be enough.

jeudi
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