Category: The Mighty Boosh
Characters: Vince Noir
Pairing: Howard Moon/Vince Noir
Length: <1k words
Something Entirely Different by AppaDarling
“I love you.”
Vince frowned faintly, making a face at himself in the bathroom mirror. No, that wasn’t right.
“Howard, I love you,” he tried again. He pouted, rearranged his hair over his shoulder. “I love you.” He pulled another face. It still wasn’t right.
He turned his head to each side, tried saying the words from different angles. “I love you, Howard. I love you, Howard. I love you.” He ducked his head a little, looked up coyly through his lashes and met his own eyes in the mirror. “Howard Moon, I love you.”
But nothing seemed right. How many times had they said those words to each other over the years? But this was different. How could he make him see this time was different?
He tried again. He turned his back partially to the mirror, looked over his shoulder. He lowered his coal, fanned lashes over his eyes, making them smolder, a look he knew never failed to charm whoever it was directed at right into his bed. “I love you, Howard,” he tried again, lowering his voice half an octave.
No, surely that would just confuse the poor spaz. He shook his head, looking around at all the beauty products that lined the sink. But none of them could get the message across for him, he’d tried. Last week, he’d changed his lip gloss from nude to shell pink, to give Howard a hint. But he’d remained oblivious. Vince sometimes wondered at his thickness.
He sighed, staring back at his reflection. He’d put extra effort into his hair this morning, and it was even more root-boosted and straightened to perfection than usual. He’d spent nearly an hour on his makeup alone, smudging his eyeliner a bit to give it a smoky effect and piling on extra black mascara to make his blue eyes pop that much more. He’d carefully -more than usual- chosen his outfit, even changed it three times before settling on his shimmery bluish catsuit that he’d left unzipped in the front to show the full expanse of his chest and tight stomach, stopping just before it dipped into dangerous territory below his bellybutton.
And all this was because today, he had decided, was the day he was going to tell Howard that he loved him. Really loved him. Because he’d already tried the subtle hint thing, and Howard was just too thick to get it.
But how to make him see?
He batted his lashes at his reflection, twirled a lock of his hair round his finger shyly. “Howard, darling, I love you.” Then he scrunched his nose in disgust. No, that definitely wasn’t it.
“Howard, I’ve always loved you.” Maybe that was closer. Vince leveled serious eyes on his reflection, willing his meaning into his words. “I’ve always loved you.”
But that still wasn’t it. It wasn’t the same. He needed Howard to understand that he didn’t just love him. It was more than friendship, it was more than a brotherly bond, it was so much more. Howard was his other half, his soul mate, the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And suddenly, “I love you” just seemed so generic and completely understated.
Vince screwed up his face, rolled the little phrase around on his tongue, tried to think of some way to transform it to convey this completely new meaning behind those words that they had exchanged so many times before, but now it was so different.
And then it hit him. His face lit up and his eyes brightened with excitement. “Howard, I’m in love with you. I’m in love with you, Howard!”
“Yes!” and he threw open the bathroom door and ran out into the flat to find his friend.