A Crap Story About An Arguement

As best friends go, Vince and Howard have a lot of faults.


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Notes: This story is one of Kelly’s.

A Crap Story About An Arguement by A Moment In Subtext

“Friends don’t let friends drive drunk,” Vince said, pointing to the sign. He nudged Howard’s shoulder. “What do you make of that?”

Howard scowled at him irritably. “I’ve never let you drive, let alone drive drunk. Friends don’t turn friends into slaves in the middle of the desert.”

“Oh, and you’re Saint Friendship, are you?” Vince sneered, hurt. “Friends don’t sell friends to creepy old men in the middle of the woods.”

“You told everyone I was a prostitute and sold me to trannie!”

“You sabotaged my chances with Kraftwerk Orange!”

“I warned you about that. You begged me to help you!”

“Oh, some help you were!”

“You ate my record!”

“It nearly killed me!”

“Oh, yes, Vince, everything is about you.”

“You’re the one who always needs me to step in and save your arse.”

“Unless you’re too busy primping to notice.”

“That’s not fair.”

“You show me up every chance you get!”


“You upstaged me at my birthday party!”

“You didn’t even want a party!”

“That’s beside the point! Then you got off with the Head Shaman’s wife!”

“I swear, I never did!”

“And you got my best friend beheaded.”

“I thought I was your best friend.”

“And,” Howard exclaimed, sure of his victory, “You kissed me and made me fall in love with you.”

“That was only temporary!”

“No it wasn’t!”

“You said it was.”

“I lied!“ Howard yelled, the anger visibly draining out of him.


“Yeah. Sorry.”

They stood in awkward silence for a couple of minutes.

“Why?” Vince asked finally.

Howard shrugged. “You obviously weren’t comfortable with the idea.”

Vince frowned thoughtfully. “That’s not true.”

The stood in a more comfortable silence for a couple more minutes.

“I think you were right,” Vince said finally.

“What about?”

“What you said up on that roof. About us. Fighting. Molten sexual tension.” He waved his hands.

Howard narrowed his eyes. “That isn’t funny, Vince.”

“I’m not laughing.”

“I… suppose not.” Howard said doubtfully.

Vince kissed him.

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