Category: Real Person Fic
Pairing: Noel Fielding/Julian Barratt
Genre: PWP (porn without plot)
Warning: Smut (graphic sex scenes)
Length: 1-5k words
Notes: I do not know or own any of the poeple in the story…this is just something that I dreamed up in my own head and is not in any was factual…
Party of a Different Kind by Plastic Dream
The sexual tension had reached breaking point between them. Noel felt it. Julian felt it. Even the crew and the rest of the cast felt it.
Noel and Julian were confused by the sly glances that the cast and crew threw at them, certain that neither one of them had been found out about their inexplicit thoughts for the other.
The day Noel had fallen, rather unceremoniously, into Julian’s life things had changed for the better. Together they had created the Boosh, first on radio and then onto the BBC. They had toured together and spent long sleepless nights in some uncomfortable hotel, talking, coming up with new material…drinking.
Now, Julian was lying on his stomach on Noel’s lounge floor, Noel lying next to him, writing material for the third series of the Boosh, neither quite believing that they had got this far.
“No…I don’t like that. I think it should be worded differently” said Julian. Noel watched the cute furrow in Julian’s forehead as he crossed out the offending line and wrote it differently underneath. Noel read what he had written and laughed.
“Yeah I like that. And then he could walk into the shop and I can like, restrain you or something” he said, writing in the directions in a different coloured pen.
“They have to look slightly different you realise?” asked Julian, looking at Noel.
“Well unless we have twins that nobody has told us about I doubt we’ll find anyone who looks exactly the same” said Noel, getting up and heading to the kitchen.
“Drink?” he shouted to Julian.
“Yeah that would be great” called Julian half-heartedly, writing yet more lines onto the paper in front of him.
It was great for them both to get back onto the set. A small break from spending countless hours holed up together in a room, writing endless lines and poring over scribbled costume ideas.
They were halfway through filming an episode that they had called Party. Noel wondered what the hell he was doing, what the hell he had done, to allow Julian to write a kiss into the script…a kiss between Howard and Vince, and…unfortunately…Vince just happened to be Noel’s character,
You know that feeling you get when fate tells you that this is going to be a turning point? That’s what Noel felt right now as he stood underneath the makeshift skylight, ready to jump out onto the roof, where Julian was sat on his mark, ready.
“Ok, quiet on set!” Noel heard the assistant director yell. Silence fell quickly.
“Roll it!” yelled the assistant director, again.
“Rolling!” responded the camera man.
“Speed!” called someone else.
He heard the clapper-man call the number of the scene and what take it was. He heard the sound of the clapper-board snapping shut. There was a moments silence and then…
“Action!” called Paul. Noel whacked the skylight open and hauled himself halfway though the gap.
“Hi” he said, looking at Julian/Howard.
“Hi. What are you doing?”
“Head Shaman’s gone mental! Thinks I got off with his wife!” said Noel/Vince, pulling himself out of the skylight and perching next to Julian/Howard on the makeshift roof.
“He’s trying to chop my head off! What are you doing here?”
“I’m in hiding aren’t I?”
“I’m hiding from the shame and the embarrassment that is my birthday party”
“Ah, come on Howard. It doesn’t matter that you’re a virgin its fine. Women respect that, they don’t mid that you’ve not gone beyond the kiss…you’ve never kissed anyone have you?”
“Have you ever held anyones hand?”
“I don’t like people touching me ok? Anyway I have a deeper relationships in my mind at a distance than you’ll ever have I your lifetime, you know that?”
“Are you talking about the incident with the binoculars?”
“That was never proved ok?”
“It was in the Guardian”
“Look, I don’t flit about. I don’t play the field alright? When I make that leap across the physical boundary, it’ll be forever sir”
Noel and Julian pretended to jump, imagining the Head Shaman had just burst though the skylight, sword drawn. Someone behind the camera read the Head Shaman’s lines as Noel responded, his heartbeat picking up pace.
“Yeah, look mate. I’m not interested in your wife we were just standing in a cupboard together”
He waited for the next line to be read,
“Honestly, I’m not interested in your wife. I’m in love with someone already”
Noel’s heart beat like a piston in his chest as the next line was read.
“I’m in love with Howard”
It felt like some awful revelation to him.
“Oh, yeah, we’re in love” said Julian/Howard.
“Prove it!” the Head Shaman’s line was read from the cameras.
Noel being Noel, he didn’t even think about it. He swung around, grabbed Julian’s shoulders and kissed him hard. He felt the sudden urge to moan but, thinking of the embarrassing consequences he held it back, remembering that they were still filming a scene.
“And…cut!” yelled Paul. Noel let go of Julian and grinned at him. Julian grinned back. They weren’t uncomfortable with each other. After all, they had kissed loads of times, even live on stage during their last tour.
Immediately they were whisked off to change into their costumes for the next scene.
It took Noel three attempts before he managed to get the key into the door of his house. He tripped over the threshold and closed the door behind him.
He felt like he was wandering around in a daze. He wasn’t really thinking about anything, he just didn’t seem able to function normally. He threw his keys and mobile on the small table in the hallway and went upstairs to shower.
“What the hell are you doing Barratt?”
Julian was standing outside Noel’s door, just staring at the shiny black wood. The hallway light was on but he could hear no sounds from inside the flat.
Then he heard the rumble of the boiler and the faint sound of the shower running and his heart sank. He had come at a bad time.
That didn’t stop him knocking though.
Noel tutted angrily and got out of the shower quickly, shivering as the cold air hit his wet skin. He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist, wondering who the hell was disturbing him. His friends usually called before they came round.
He opened the door and froze…
“Um…hi” said Julian, awkwardly. Noel didn’t say anything.
“Bad time?” asked Julian, even though it obviously was.
“Um…no…” said Noel, regaining the power of speech.
He stepped back and let Julian into the hallway. Once he had closed the door the pair of them just stared at each other. Noel noticed how Julian’s eyes darted down over his chest and down, taking in the one small towel only just holding onto Noel’s dignity. Noel shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
Neither of them was quite sure how it happened. Noel had crossed the small hallway in a split second and grabbed Julian’s shirt collar, pulling him down into a ferocious kiss, a feeling of satisfaction spreading through him as he heard Julian moan and wind his fingers tight into Noel’s hair.
Julian pulled away and kissed at Noel’s neck, tasting the water on his neck from his interrupted shower. Noel whined softly and pulled back, leading Julian up the stairs and into his room. Julian stopped and looked around.
“You’ve redecorated” he said, looking around at the room, which was now bright turquoise.
“Yeah, do you like it? Very healing colour is turquoise, very soothing”
Julian was feeling anything but relaxed. Their brief kissing session downstairs had left his painfully hard and rather flushed looking. Noel laughed a cheeky seductive laugh that made Julian look at him angrily.
Noel walked towards him with a ‘come-hither’ smile spread across his face.
“Are you just going to stand there and grin all night?” He asked, rather impatiently. Noel laughed properly this time and stopped in front of Julian.
“Impatient much?” he asked, no longer uncomfortable. Julian looked at the floor.
Noel’s arms were suddenly around his shoulders and his lips on Julian’s neck. Noel put his arms around the younger mans waist and pulled their bodies together, feeling Noel’s arousal against his own, making them both moan.
Noel’s quick fingers went to the buttons of Julian’s shirt, deftly pulling them open and relishing the sound of the soft ‘flump’ of the shirt hitting the carpet. He ran his hands down Julian’s chest, running over his nipples and making Julian gasp and shudder slightly.
He unbuckled Julian’s belt and slipped his slim hand past the waistband of his underwear to his cock. At the first touch of Noel’s lithe hand against him, Julian shuddered again, more violently, and pressed himself firmly into his friends grip.
Noel grinned up at him, suddenly looking filthy as his hand worked over Julian.
“Slut!” gasped Julian, fondly. Noel laughed softly and withdrew his hand from Julian’s underwear.
Julian pushed Noel towards his bed, shedding his trousers and underwear as he walked across the room. He pulled Noel’s towel from his waist and pushed his roughly onto the mattress. Noel bounced slightly as he hit the bed and gave Julian the filthy smile again.
Julian went past Noel to the nightstand. Almost certainly this was where he was to find lube and a condom. Feeling that he knew his friend rather too well he removed these items and knelt on the mattress next to Noel, rolling on the condom.
Noel took the lubricant from Julian and squeezed a bit into his palm and, taking as much time as he thought he could get away with, slicked it over Julian’s aching erection, smiling as Julian moaned and thrust into his hand.
Julian pushed Noel’s hand away from him and grabbed a pillow from the end of the bed. He indicated that Noel should lift his ups up and slipped the pillow beneath him. He crawled cat-like up the bed towards Noel; the gleam in Noel’s eyes was cheeky as Julian’s hand skated over the smooth skin of him backside.
Noel’s head hit the mattress with a soft ‘thunk’ and a quiet moan as Julian twisted first one finger and then a second into Noel, crooking them and aiming well as Noel’s hands flew out to the sides and grabbed fistfuls of the duvet.
“Julian…” he whined, almost pleading with him. Holding onto Noel’s hips to keep himself steady, Julian began to push into Noel slowly.
“Fucking Jesus!” cursed Noel, throwing his head back. Julian shuddered in agreement as he started to thrust slowly into his friend. He leant down to bite gently at Noel’s neck and Noel’s hand flew to his hair, twisting and pulling hard as he writhed underneath Julian’s body.
Julian was close and he wanted Noel there with him. Slipping his hand between their bodies he begins to stroke Noel’s erection, working him into a terrific climax. Noel’s back arches and he screams at the ceiling as he comes hard.
Watching Noel’s body move and feeling Noel come that hard sets off Julian’s own orgasm. He freezes, cursing continually, a mixture of well chosen expletives and Noel’s name as he comes before collapsing onto Noel and rolling off to the side.
Noel snuggled his warm spent body into Julian’s side, kissing his neck tenderly. Julian turned his head towards Noel and their mouths met in a tender kiss, Noel’s tongue slipping past Julian’s lips.
Noel got up and went to the bathroom to wipe the stickiness off his stomach and, when he went back into his room he found Julian under the covers, leaning against the headboard with his eyes half shut.
“You are so predictable sometimes Julian” said Noel, burrowing under the covers beside him and playing one hand lazily across Julian’s chest. Julian laughed lazily. Noel yawned and, hating himself for being so cliché, closed his eyes and laid his head on Julian’s chest.
Julian played one hand in Noel’s hair, stroking and twisting gently as he felt the smaller man relaxing. He knew there was a silly dreamy smile on his face as he thought that this wouldn’t be the last time they had an encounter like this.