Moulin Boosh

Mighty Boosh X Moulin Rouge. Howard Moon, a penniless jazz musician and writer unwittenly falls in love with Vince Noir, the star courtesan from the Moulin Rouge and finds himself fighting of Vince affections with Dixon Bainbridge, the Duke.

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Chapter eight: The Spectacular, Spectacular ending.

Chapter eight: The Spectacular, Spectacular ending.

Inside the Moulin Rouge, chairs filled the dancefloor inside the main hall in front of the stage. They were filled with men and women dressed poshly for the play. The stage curtains were closed, and Rudi was conducting the musiciansat the front of the stage. Smoke then appears from the floor and Fossil, dressed in royal robes, with a crown and wooden sword appears. The curtains open behind him to reveal a beautiful indian background. He then sits with his back to the audience, knowing the Duke was in the audience.

Howard manages to get backstage through a window and is trying to make his way to Vince. On his way, he spots the Hitcher and ducks around a corner, making himself flat againest the wall as the bodyguard walks past. He makes his way past the supports of the stage as he continues searching.

Back onstage, the lights go dim except a spotlight in the centre. Vince, dressed in a black royal robe with a black diamond head-dress, appears through a trapdoor in the stage. Two dancers lift him up by his arms and carry him to the near front of the stage, then he suddenly coughs and gasps for breath. Fossil is worried, until Vince stops coughing and carries on the song and dance quite seductively for the evil king.

Vince (singing): “Kiss, hand, fashion’s best friend. Men grow cold, as we grow old and we all lose our charm in the end…”

The dancers move closer and lift him up into the air as he does his chorus. Fossil turns to see Bainbridge has a posessive smile on his face.

Vince: “Fashion is a, fashion is a, faahion is a boy’s best friend”

The Duke’s necklace is lower and placed around his neck, as well as a black diamond studded long coat placed on his body, whne the song ends. Fossil gets up and places his arms aorund Vince, his face emotionless.

Fossil: He’s mine.

Bainbridge: He’s mine.

Backstage, Naboo and Joey are getting ready to get into position for the next scene.

Naboo: I know he still loves Howard, there’s got to be a reason.

Joey goes to say soemthing, but falls asleep. He falls then through a trapdoor and in front of Howard. Howard gets an idea and changes into Joey’s costume. On stage, the background is now the front of a temple, Fossil is alone except some of the dancers.

Fossil: I will rasie my marriage sword…

Howard, now wearing Joey’s costume jacket, is climbing through the set.

Fossil:…And welcome my loyal subjects in celebration…

Backstage, Vince is coughing blood into an hanky. Mrs Gideon tries to get him to take some of his medicine out of a silver vial. Howard is still moving down a corridor and the Hitcher finds Fossil offset.

Hitcher: That writer’s here boss.

Naboo is watching from th wings above and hears the conversation.

Fossil: I told Vince that if he came here, he’d be killed.

Hitcher: He may very well be slashed now.

Howard finds Vince’s dressing room and enters. Vince spins round and gasps, walking backwards away from him. Naboo meanwhile, works things out.

Naboo: So that’s why Vince pushed him away, to save him. I must warn Howard.

He turns to look for him, but is rasied in the air. In the dressing room, Howard is comfronting Vince.

Howard: I’ve come to pay my bill.

Vince: You shouldn’t be here.

He brushes past Howard to get to the stage.

Vince: Just leave me!

Howard turns and follows him. Naboo is trying to make his way through the rafters above the stage to find Howard.

Naboo: Killed? He can’t be killed!

Vince is gasping as he rushes to the stage. Howard actches up and grabs his arm, making Vince face him.

Howard: You made me believe I loved you. Why shouldn’t I pay?

Vince (getting upset): Please, Howard. Just go.

Howard (angry): You did your job so well, so let me pay.

Vince: There’s no point, just go.

Vince then sees the Hitcher around the corner, his knife seen clearly in his hand. He screams and places himself in front of Howard.

Howard: If it wasn’t real, then why can’t I pay you?

Vince: Why won’t you go?

Onstage, they could hear ‘Let the doors open’. Two doors opened in front of them, revealing them to the audience. The Hitcher, who was close to stabbing Howard, jumped back, Bainbridge was not happy and Fossil looked shocked, but he covers it up.

Fossil: Ha ha ha! I am not fooled! Though he has adopts a disguise, my eyes do not lie! For it is he, the same penniless fashion designer!

The audience murmer in understanding. The Hitcher moves to the wings, with Naboo following him through the rafters. Howard drags Vince onto the stage, and throws him to the floor. Vince lies there coughing, while Howard adresses the Duke.

Howard: This young man is yours now. I’ve paid my whore.

He throws the money at Vince, who is now crying, making his black make-up smudge.

Howard: I owe you nothing, you are nothing you me now.

He makes his way down the stairs, stopping by the Duke and stares at him.

Fossil: He never loved you, see how he flees the kingdom.

Fossil bends down to Vince and whispers to him.

Fossil: Vincey, It’s for the best. The show must go on.

Fossil pulls Vince up. Howard walks down the aisle, taking of his costume jacket. The Hitcher turns away from him, satisfied.

Fossil: And now my husband to be, it is time for you to say your wedding vows to the heavens above.

Vince is weak and can hardly stand up. Naboo meanwhile remembers his main line. He rushes to say it, but gets caught in the ropes. Hanging, he says it anyway.

Naboo: The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

Vince looks up, realisation dawning on him. Howard stops, making the Hitcher gab his knife again

Vince (singing weakly): “Never knew I could feel like this…”

Howard continues forward to the exit, but with great pain on his heart. Vince sings again, his voice growing stronger.

Vince: “It’s like I’ve never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss, everyday I’m loving you more and more”

He walks forward on the stage, as Howard stops and turns slowly to him.

Vince: “Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing, come back to me and forgive everything”

Rudi conducts the musicians to accompany Vince. Vince gasps for breath, but continues.

Vince: “Seasons may change, winter to spring. Til the end of time”

The Duke grows more angry when he hears Howard beind him continuing the song. Vince just smiles with relief and happiness as Howard walks towards him.

Howard: “Come what may, I will love you until my dying day”

Howard climbs onstage and joins Vince, holding him close. Bainbridge signals to the Hitcher to stab Howard. Naboo’s rope snaps and he swings across stage, knocking the Hitcher’s knife from his hand.

Howard/Vince: “I will love you until my dying day”

The knife appears in front of a dancer, who hides behind a wooden statue in fear. Fossil stops it and tells the bodyguards to get the Hitcher. The audience laughs, thinking it’s part of the play. Spider sets of an explosion onstage, causing everyone to panic. The Hitcher tries to get his knife back, But Old Gregg kicks him in the face and the gun accidently in front of the Duke. Everyone stops panicing and gets into position.

Naboo: “No matter what you say, the show’s ending our way”.

Everyone: “Everyone must stand their ground, for beauty, trueth, feedom and love!”

Vince “One day I’ll fly away”

Howard: “The gift is my song”

The Hitcher is now with the musicians, trying to get his knife back. He gets to it, only for a dancer to iuntie a sandbag above him and knock him on the head, making the knife fly out of his hand again. Bainbridge stands up and starts walking away. The knife lands in front of him, so he turns round with it and tries throw it at Howard, who is being lifted by the dancers with Vince. As he reaches the stage, Fossil punches him, making the knife fly out of his hands.

Howard/Vince: “I will love you until my dying day”

As the song ends, Howard and Vince kiss in the centre of the stage. Black and red rose petals fall from the rafters as the audience cheers. The curtains close and they all get ready for curtian calls. Howard smiles at Vince, but grows worried as Vince falls backwards.

Howard: Vince, what’s wrong?

Vince starts coughing and gasping for breath, some blood trickles out of his mouth. Howard’s hand goes to his mouth in shock, notising Vince is nearly unconcious.

Howard (shouting): Someone get help!

Fossil turns to Mrs Gideon.

Fossil: Get the doctor, he’s in the auidence. I told him to bring his stuff just in case.

Mrs Gideon rushes off, as the others turn gravely to the couple.

Vince: I’m dying Howard. I’m so sorry I never told you.

Howard (clearly upset): You’ll be alright, I know you will.

Vince: I’m cold, please hold me!

Howard presses him close, and starts crying.

Howard: I love you so much, please don’t leave me.

Mrs Gideon comes back, Dennis is behind her. He indicates to howard to bring Vince backstage to his dressing room. Howard geantly places Vince on his bed and the doctor tells him he must leave.

Howard: I can’t leave him,I’m all he’s got left.

Dennis: I’m better working without people around me. I will get you when I’ve finished.

Howard leaves the room painfully. He’s surprised to see everyone else waiting for news. A few minutes later, Dennis reappears again.

Dennis: I have dosed him up with a new cure that was found in London. We do not know if it’ll work, so don’t be too hopeful. We shall see what happens overnight.

Narrator: That night was the longest night of Howard’s life, but it was worth it. Vince survived the night and recovered well throughout the days of recovery Fossil made him have. Though he still had a few coughing fits, no blood appeared and he just needed some rest to be well again.


Inside the Moulin Rouge, the stage was still there. Not only were they still a nightclub, but also part time theater. Bainbridge and the Hitcher were arrested for attempted murder and were never heard from again.

On the stage, there was a make-up alter with candles on top. Two people, Howard and Vince, were standing in front of it, while Naboo was behind. The chairs were there once more, but filled with the dancers and staff of the Moulin Rouge.

Naboo: I know pronouce you two married.

Howard and Vince kiss as their audience cheered for them. Except for Joey and Old Gregg, who got together after the show anyway.

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