Booshdust

Stardust/Mighty Boosh crossover. Howard Thorn wishes to impress Victoria Gideon by going beyound their village wall to find a fallen star in a new magical world.

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Chapter Six-Rescues and Discoveries

Chapter Six-Rescues and Discoveries.

At the witches’ manor, in a huge dark canyon and beside a waterfall, Saboo opens the carriage door and, with a snarl-like grin, pulls on the chain and leads Vince and Monkey out. Antrax and Ebola open the door.
Antrax: The star! And who else?
Saboo: A servant, someone to help clean up around here.
Ebola: You’re just in time, brother, you look awful!
They all cackle, as Vince is led towards the back while Monkey is kept at the door.
Bainbridge arrives at the wall and the horseless caravan and immediately follows the tracks.
Inside the manor, Vince is being strapped to the same table on which his sister lay when her heart was cut out.
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Howard has arrived at the manor and crouches beside a window, looking in. He sees the witches and Monkey, but no Vince. Suddenly Bainbridge is suddenly there, holding a knife to Howard’s throat.
Bainbridge: Who are you? What business do you have here?
Howard sees the letter B tattooed on the man’s hand.
Howard: Bainbridge… I knew your brother, Hitcher.
Bainbirdge: Unless you would love to join him in the afterlife than I suggest you answer my question. What are you doing here?
Howard: I was about to ask you the same thing.
Bainbridge then realizes that Howard is jabbing a dagger in his belly. They both lower their weapons and peer through the window.
Bainbridge: There are four of them. Do as I say and we may stand a chance.
He moves off but halts when Howard doesn’t move.
Howard: How do I know you can be trusted?
Bainbridge: You don’t. Why? Do you have a choice?
Howard: No.
Bainbridge: Well then, let’s go.
The two men charge in and see Saboo and Antrax trying to tie Vince down, while Ebola and Monkey are near the door. The ghostly princes are sitting on the fireplace. Howard disappears to fight Ebola, while Bainbridge grabs Monkey and flings her down on a fur-covered bed, and raises his sword to kill her. Monkey spins around and at the sight of her, Bainbridge halts.
Bainbridge: Monkey?
Monkey: Bainbridge!
Ghostly brothers: Sister!
Bainbridge moves on until he faces Ebola, who causes his sword to burn hot and made him drop it. She blasts fire at Bainbridge and his coat catches alight. He beats at it, putting out the flames, then he kills Ebola by impaling her with his thrown sword.
Back near the door, Monkey was running, Howard grabbed her as though to fight, but she called out his name as they came to a kneel.
Monkey: Howard! I… I’m your mother. I’m your mother.
Howard is stunned, but hugs her back. The two of them are hiding behind a cage throughout all of Bainbridge’s battle.
Saboo takes out a small green clay doll and holds it up, in Bainbridge’s sight. He takes hold of one arm and bends it backwards, making Bainbridge collapse in pain as his real arm is bent. Saboo then breaks Bainbridge’s leg and then, when he’s still trying to get up, holds the doll out above a fountain.
Saboo: Let’s end this.
He drops the doll into the water. The real Bainbridge begins to float in mid air, gasping and drowning, until finally he sags, limp, and his body falls to the floor. His ghost appears, soaking wet, beside his brothers.
Ape of Death: Now what?
Lester Corncrake: We learn to live with each other.
Hidden behind the cages, Monkey holds Howard’s head and kisses his forehead.
Monkey: Be the man I know you are.
Howward nods and sends her outside. Monkey flees and watches from the closest outside window, as Howard stands and walks forward. Vince sees him and begins to glow and Saboo looks between them and ‘clicks’. Antrax walks towards Howard, he smashes the locks on the animal cage doors, freeing various animals who climb all over the witch and they kill her. They then run outside, past Monkey when they’ve finished. Saboo descends the stairs and walks towards Howard, his sword is shaking as he passes the body of Bainbridge.
Saboo: So what’s it to be, Prince Charming. Frog or tadpole?
Saboo fires a spell at him, but the snowdrop flower prevents it from getting close. Frustrated, Saboo instead begins to magically haul objects across the room, smashing them into him.
Howard takes off the lightning canister and briefly opens the mouth, making a bolt shoots across the room and knocks him off his feet. He stands and opens it again, better footing this time, and Saboo is hit and thrown back, agaisnt the fountain. In the water, he sees the doll, picks it up and begins to move the arms and legs, walking up the stairs.
Behind Howard, Bainbridge’s corpse is lifted, making the ghostly Bainbridge be taken aback. Howard turns to see this limp corpse ‘standing’, sword held up. Saboo is twisting the arms very well despite not seeing any of it, for Bainbridge’s body does a fine job of keeping Howard away. And, when Howard does score a fatal blow, by stabbing Bainbridge right through the chest, it has no effect on a man who is already dead.
Howard is backed up to where some ropes are holding the chandeliers. He sees one above Bainbridge’s head and cuts a rope, but the wrong fixture falls. Glass crashes onto the fountain and splatters Vince, who shrieks. Howardcuts another rope, but it falls to no effect. Finally he grabs the last rope and cuts it, flying into the air with it and crashes into Saboo, knocking the doll out of his hands and lands on the floor beside Vince. Howard scrambles up, trying to free him, but Saboo has also risen and holds a crystal butcher knife.
There is nothing Howard can do while he is weaponless. Saboo hesitates, looking between his two dead sisters, then shrieks and slams the blade down, freeing Vince’s arm and throws the knife down.
Saboo: Youth, beauty. It all seems so pointless now my sisters are dead!
He has turned away. Howard and Vince can hardly believe it.
Saboo: Go.
Howard hurridly unbuckles the other strap and the two of them hurry down the stairs, towards the doors. Monkey, watching, smiles in relief and goes to meet them at the door.
Howard and Vince hurridly cross the large floor, with Howard holding Vince’s arm, not quite delighted but looking happy. They approach the large door, which suddenly slams shut. They suddenly stop, and Saboo’s sobs change to cackles of laughter. They back up as from above every window a heavy metal shutter drops, blocking their exit. Soon every window is covered, and the room darkens.
Suddenly Saboo stops cackling and hisses, making Vince shriek as the windows near them shatter; Howard covers him and they both duck. Then, mirrors and more windows shatter as Saboo gestures with his hands, back still turned. They try to get away, but are running to where the windows are stll intact, and they each shatter in turn. They drop and Howard leans over Vince, shielding him. Outside, Monkey pounds at the locked door.
They end up close to Saboo, who begins to decend the stairs, knife in hand. They stand as he gets nearer.
Saboo: I should thank you, boy. You’ve killed my sisters, but now I can have it for myself. What use was her heart when it was broken?
Vince reaches out to hug Howard.
Vince: Hold me tight, and close your eyes.
Howard: Why?
He does so, holding Vince close.
Vince: What do stars do?
Saboo is coming closer, but Vince is smiling and glowing, stroking Howard’s hair.
Vince: We shine.
His light intesifies. Howard squeezes his eyes shut and buries his face in Vince’s shoulder. Saboo halts, worried as the light grows brighter. Vince and Howard’s bodies are no longer visible in the brightness. Saboo screams as the intensity burns him to a crisp. There is no body left, just burnt embers.
Slowly, Vince’s light dims until they part and can look at each other, his necklace has disappeared.
Howard: Why didn’t you do that earlier?
Vince (shyly): I couldn’t do that without you.
With Saboo’ss death, the locks are broken and Monkey pushes her way inside and joins them. Vince goes over to hug her, while Howard notices the broken necklace on the ground, the clear stone that has fallen from it. He picks it up and walks to the others, but he slows as he realises the stone is turning red in his hands. The seven ghostly brothers are now standing with Monkey and Vince.
Monkey: The last of the Stormhold bloodline. It’s you, Howard.
Bainbridge: But if he’s the new king, then that means…
The ghosts brighten and turn into tiny points of glowing light, which vanish.
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At Stormhold Palace, Howard is sitting on a throne, dressed very fancy with the ruby in another necklace around his own neck. Beside him is Vince, dressed in royal blue, gold and silver robes, a silver tiara on his raven hair with a smaller ruby in it. Every tier is filled, as they watch Howard’s coronation.
Another bishop lowers the elaborate crown onto his head, and the audience cheers for the new King of Stormhold. Among the guests are Victoria and Joey, Naboo, Tony Harrison and Captain Rudi, with his crew all dressed first-class. The pirates cheer in a very third-class way and Howard’s nervous face softens for a moment as he replies to their gesture.
Victoria is looking at the glamour and cheers around her and looks at her ring under a lacy glove with a sneer. Rudi turns a little to see Humphrey behind and a little farther down from him in the seats, and winks. Joey winks back, as Victoria looks outraged.
On the stage, Monkey, dressed in the jewels and silks of a princess, leaves her seat beside Tommy and approaches the couple. She hands a white box to Vince.
Monkey: My gift to you, to you both.
She walks off, as Vince opens the box and smiles. Inside, lying on the silk is a black Babylon candle. He turns and leans so Howard can see inside the box. He smiles too before giving vince a hard, passionate kiss that leaves them both breathless.
Narrator: They ruled for eighty years, but no man may live forever, except those who posesses the heart of a star and Vince had given his to Howard completely.
High in the royal tower we see two male figures silhouetted against a window.
Narrator: When their children and grandchildren were grown, they lit the candle and ascended into the heavens, where they still shine today.
The figures face each other, hold hands and a light flares. They vanish as lights shooting up into the sky, forming two new stars.

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