A Booshmas Carol

The festive season has reached the Mighty Boosh boys and Vince is as ever in the party mood with Howard tagging behind. But something isn't quite right in their fairy tale world.

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Deck the halls

Deck the halls

Shiny lights and bright colours adorned the room with pockets of gems and rubies glistening in the warm glow of Christmas. A fairy circled the top of their towering Christmas tree flitting around the room. A bell like voice rung our as the beautiful creature spoke to Vince. He was like Peter Pan, a boy who never wanted to grow up, well minus the leafy costume. Although Vince had been know to clothe himself although admittedly that had been when stranded on a desert island. He watched entranced as Naboo finished a charm to bring the small glittered sculpture of strange creatures to life, at times like this Naboo seemed like a shaman from a fairy tale rather than the lispy shaman he was with a Brixton accent and penchant for certain substances. Suddenly the creatures awoke from their year long slumber and upon seeing their hero Vince, now clad in a thick purple velvet dress and lace trimmed skinny jeans, surrounded him chattering in their beautiful voices.

Here peered around looking for and old friend by the name of Tumnus. He was a small faun named after the one in the tales of Narnia. He was a jolly and stout old flow who shared Howard’s love of jazz and stationary. In the festive season they would spend hours deliberating over which record to play on New Years Eve and discussing the merits of different types of desk tidy. Needless to say Vince took no part in this but instead delighted in watching his Christmas friends form wonderful creations of the richest silks, velvet and various fabric you have ever seen. On Christmas day he would always wear what must be the finest outfit in the land, all courtesy of the miniature mythical beauties that alighted every surface. However these fanciful critters did serve some purpose to the more serious Howard, they made the flat feel full of life and always helped him find the perfect Christmas present for the princess that was Vince. It was them that had helped him find the golden magic mirror and this year they had outdone themselves.

Hidden in the storeroom, where Vince would never go as it entailed work, was a golden device used to spin the finest of threads. Not only did it serve a practical function, once close to Vince heart as it involved textiles and therefore clothes, but it was gorgeous. It seemed not to reflect light but emit it and a soft glow enveloped anyone near it. This was none other than the spinning wheel that Sleeping Beauty had pricked her finger on. The spell that had caused this was of course void now, disarmed by the creatures that were alighting every surface now. As much as Howard became exasperated by Vince sometimes he also felt an overwhelming need to please him.

Howard looked at his watch and sighed, it was only 3 hours until the next party that Vince had planned for them to go to started. Maybe they could arrive late, fashionably late at his style forward friend would call it. He needed to rest now. Pouring himself a glass of mulled wine he lay down on the sofa with Tumnus dozing against a plant pot on the window sill. Vince, with his short attention span satisfied by his fairy tale fantasies joined Howard on the heavily cushioned beast of a sofa. Immediately the creature followed and sat along the top of the sofa.

Howard smiled as he felt a weight rest on his chest, Vince’s head.

“Howard?” Vince waited for his friend to affirm that he had heard before continuing. “Do you like Christmas? I love it; it’s so magical and beautiful. I get to dress up and go to parties and I get to sit at home with you. Its so wonderful, its amazing. I don’t see how anyone could be sad at Christmas” the words tumbled out of his mouth. Howard chuckled at his naivety and continued to run his finger though Vince’s thick lustrous hair.

“Well perhaps with you in such a good mood we can listen to some jazz?”

Vince jerked up pulling a face. “But jazz is for losers. I don’t want to hear you blathering on about Charlie Minger or whatever, you’ve got Leister Corncrake for that.”

Howard was about to protest but saw Vince’s face and realise he was simply trying to wind him up. Howard tried to pull Vince back down but failed as he stepped off the sofa.

“Where are you going?” The answer was to get ready for the party; Howard had forgotten that Vince would need several hours to prepare his make-up hair and new outfit. Oh well, he could simply catch up on his sleep.

With his eyes half open Howard checked around the room to ensure that no mischief was being created. His eyes stopped in a corner where he could see nothing. But that was exactly the problem. Whilst the rest of the room shone like it was a Christmas bauble itself the corner was dark and dusty. No Christmas cheer reached it. I the gloom in that spot he thought he saw some for of movement, perhaps a flicking of a tail or stretching of a wing. But surely none of the creatures would go there. They were all either with Vince or perfecting the decorations. He shook his head and shut his eyes.

“Howard man you really need to get some sleep, your eyes are playing tricks on you.”