Stripping Stone

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Noel and Julian's relationship changes from what it once was, into something new.

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Part 4

Contents

Part 4

Noel woke Julian the next day making breakfast loudly in the kitchen. Julian’s eyes flew open when Noel sent a skillet clanging noisily to the floor.

“Shit!” Noel said quietly, looking up guiltily to see if Julian was awake.

“What the fuck are you doing? Killing a mouse?” Julian said, trying to shake the sleep away from his mind.

“Sorry, Julian….it slipped. I’m making you breakfast,” he said, happy now that Julian was awake and he had someone to talk to.

“I’m a grown man. You don’t need to make me breakfast,” Julian said, yawning and getting up onto his feet.

Noel just shrugged. “I wanted to, I guess. I put your laundry in the washer too. It looked all wrinkled.”

“Why are you acting like you’re my wife?” Julian asked.

“That’s sexist darling,” Noel said, smirking as he stirred a strange looking sauce on the stove. “I am your wife now.”

Julian stretched, reaching his arms out into the air. “Alright, well if it makes you happy. What are you making?” he asked, walking over to get a closer look.

“I’m making you one of the Quinoa Burro’s I told you about. You’re not hungover today, but they’re still good.”

“No, you just don’t have anything else in your fridge to make,” Julian said with a sneer.

Noel lifted his wooden spoon and flicked it at Julian. A few drops of whatever sauce he was making hit Julian’s skin.

“Ow!” He said when the liquid burned him. “That hurt you tit!”

“You deserve it. I’m making you breakfast and washing your clothes, and all you have to say is some snide remark about my food?” Noel said smiling.

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” Julian said grinning back. “I’m going to take a shower. Will it be done by the time I’m out?”

“Well now I’m probably going to burn it because I’m going to be thinking of you naked.”

Julian shook his head and started toward the bathroom.

“Yes, it will be done Julian,” Noel added, laughing as he watched him disappear down the hall.

Around fifteen minutes later, as Julian was stepping out of the shower Noel flung open the door and informed him he was done making breakfast.

“Do you mind?” Julian said, slightly embarrassed standing there, toweling himself off.

“Oh, yeah…sorry,” Noel sniggered and disappeared out the door.

Julian emerged a few minutes later, fairly hungry. Noel brought him over a plate when he sat down at the table. It looked repulsive.

“That looks great Noel, thank you,” Julian smiled up at Noel, who looked extremely pleased when he heard Julian’s approval.

“Wait until you taste it.” Noel turned and walked back into the kitchen and started cleaning up his mess.

Julian looked at it apprehensively but ended up tasting it anyway. He didn’t have the heart to turn it down after Noel had looked so excited about it. He’d cooked for him before and it hadn’t been a disaster then. It ended up tasting pretty good, not anything like it looked, and Julian had no problem finishing it off.

Noel was flirting more than usual today, touching him whenever he got the chance and making off-colour comments about most everything Julian did. By the time it was the afternoon, Julian was getting tired of Noel insinuating that everything he put in his mouth was a metaphorical cock.

After one particularly irritating comment Julian finally said something.

“Noel, do you want something from me?” Noel looked up innocently from painting his fingernails.

He had been dropping hints so long, Noel didn’t see the use in hiding it at this point. “Actually, I’ve been dying to suck you off all day.”

“So instead of just doing it, which would make us both happier, you thought you’d be a disgusting pervert, is that it?”

“Well I guess it would sort of be breaking the rules if I did that. I mean, you’re supposed to be proving your undying love for me. Of course your gonna love whoever is begging you to stick your cock down their throat,” Noel answered.

“Oh my God Noel, when are you going to let it go? I told you I love you. I left Julia, for Christ’s sake,” Julian complained. He had to admit, a blow job didn’t sound like too terrible of an idea right now.

Noel glared at him. “This is breaking the rules….but fine. Go sit in the chair over there.” Julian did what he was told.

Noel was waving his hands through the air trying to dry them. “You’re gonna have to get your cock out for me. My nails aren’t dry yet.”

“Oh well if it’s such a chore for you.” Julian started to get up and walk off.

“No! No…it’s not a chore. I just didn’t think you’d want nail polish all over you,” Noel said hurriedly.

Julian smirked and came back to the chair. Before he sat down he removed his jeans and underwear. Noel looked up at him. “On second thought, take off everything.”

Julian did so, taking time to fold his clothes and put them in a pile beside the chair. Noel walked over to him once he sat down. “Hey Julian, could you do me a favor and take my drainpipes off as well? I don’t want to get paint on them.”

Julian leaned forward, carefully unzipped Noel, and worked to pull his trousers to the ground. Noel did his best to step out of them. God he was beautiful.

“Underwear too, please.” Noel let Julian remove these as well while he blew absentmindedly on his fingernails.

“Alright, I could wait for these to dry…,” Noel started before Julian cut him off.

“Don’t you dare,” Julian snarled. Noel walked forward abruptly and straddled him.

“…but I don’t want to, so you’re just going to have to bear with me because I can’t use my hands. Besides, you only really need my mouth anyway.”

Julian was so turned on now, it hurt. He didn’t need to tell Noel that though. He was sitting on him. He could feel it. Noel leaned forward, set his elbows on Julian’s shoulders and kissed him painfully gently, brushing his tongue over Julian’s and breathing softly into his mouth. He shifted his body up further, so his cock was now resting heavily on Julian’s lower stomach. The older man groaned from the friction as Noel moved.

“Fuck, Noel. Why are you going so slow?” Julian asked him desperately.

“I want this time to be slow. Shut up,” Noel whispered back.

“Are you good at this?” Julian questioned.

“You’re already about to come all over the both of us, and I haven’t even started yet. Does it really matter?” Noel sighed between the kisses he was now placing all over Julian’s jawline. His hands were held up in the air like he was being robbed.

Julian didn’t answer. Instead he closed his eyes and focused on how it felt to have Noel touching him like he was. A part of him wanted to force Noel to go faster, harder, anything than the painfully slow and teasing way he was bringing him off now, but another part of him wouldn’t have it any other way. He could have pulled him in roughly with his hand or grabbed Noel’s neck and forced him down. After all, Julian didn’t have anything drying on his fingernails. But this was a game they were playing, and these were the rules. No one spoke them and they had never played before, but there was no question as to what Julian was allowed to do. Touching Noel more than he had to was not one on the list.

Noel backed off of him now and got onto his knees. He leaned forward and, starting right above Julian’s cock, he pressed his tongue to him, dragging it up Julian’s skin to his collarbone, where he stopped. He made his way back down then, nipping Julian softly every once in a while. Not enough to make him bleed, but enough to hurt a little and leave marks.

Once he was back down flat on his knees again, he started getting serious, lapping at the skin around Julian’s cock, making him twitch. Julian wasn’t sure if he was going to come right then and there before Noel had even really gotten started, but he didn’t really care. This felt too good to worry too much about how it happened.

After all the agonizing teasing he had done, Noel finally closed his warm mouth around Julian and began the process of easing him down his throat without gagging. Julian let out a wanton moan above him, and Noel looked up at his face. Julian didn’t see it though because he had his eyes shut tightly. Noel had him squirming in more than one way. If he hadn’t had his mouth full, he would have been grinning.

He let Julian slide down inside of him as he brought his head back and then forward again, using his teeth, his tongue, everything he could to make Julian shake and moan like a wounded animal. After a minute of working Julian’s cock in his mouth he got what he wanted. Julian’s breath was hitching above him, and he was crying out Noel’s name softly over and over. Only a few more seconds now.

Julian’s mind was a battlefield. He felt like it was short circuiting. Everything he had ever learned was gone now. All that remained were rapid tiny explosions of pleasure all through his brain. He was going to come, and he was going to come hard.

A few seconds later an ecstasy flooded through him, and he lost control of his body. If he had had control he would have stopped himself from thrusting into Noel’s mouth so violently that he moved forward off the chair and forced Noel onto his back as he came. The younger man’s head thudded dully on the floor, Julian’s cock still in his mouth. Julian pulled out of him quickly trying to avoid making him choke to death.

Noel coughed and spluttered as he got up.

“Fuck, Julian! That’s the second time you’ve choked me in two weeks. Do you want me dead or something?” It was obscene the way he was talking. He had swallowed, but he hadn’t wiped his mouth off. Obviously he didn’t care, because he rolled over onto Julian who was laying flat on the floor at his side and kissed him.

Julian kissed him back, too weak to do anything but move his lips with Noel’s. The tongue sliding over his tasted different this time. Julian expected it though. Noel’s mouth was still full of him. He was beginning to feel light headed and needed to catch his breath, but couldn’t. With both a mouth over his and Noel’s weight crushing his lungs, it was nearly impossible to get air. He didn’t care though. Nothing was more important than Noel right now, not even consciousness.

Luckily Julian didn’t pass out. Noel broke away and wriggled his body down so his head was resting on Julian’s chest, right above his heart. Julian just lay there, his breathing slowly returning to normal. He stared up at the ceiling, wondering how the hell he ended up here with the most beautiful man in the world resting on top of him. Resting on top of him, Julian thought, in a way strangely reminiscent of a large cat.

“Julian?” Noel said softly.

“Hmm?”

“I think you have a heart murmur or something.”

“Way to ruin the mood, Noel.” He felt the younger man’s body above him rippling with laughter.

“I’m sorry! It sounds weird though!” Noel placed his arms on Julian’s chest, resting his chin in his hands. “That must’ve felt fucking genius. Your heart’s beating a million miles a minute. You should hear it!”

“I can feel it you twat. It’s inside me,” Julian said, smiling.

“You know,” Noel started in a matter-a-fact tone, “I bet I could get you off with out touching you at all.”

Julian scoffed. “Either you think too highly of your abilities, or not enough of my ability to resist you. I hardly think you have the power to do that,” He could feel Noel’s weight pushing his body into the cold wood beneath him.

Noel wasn’t phased. He settled himself more comfortably on top of Julian. “I bet I could. You’d lay here on the floor just like you’re doing now. I’d sit right next to you and whisper things in your ear. You’d beg me to touch you but I wouldn’t. When I refused to touch you, you would get upset and say that my words didn’t affect you. I wouldn’t believe you though, because I’d be able to see your cock. I’d be able to see exactly what I was doing to you. I’d tell you that. You would get off a little on that wouldn’t you Julian, knowing I could push you further and further and watch every second of it? I’d make you sweat. By the end I’d be listening to you choke and gasp my name, begging me to go on. I’d watch you breathing heavy. I’d see you come. And all from me talking. It would all be without one touch.”

He wasn’t sure if it was the way Noel had said it or the words themselves that were switching something on in his brain again. All the familiar places were feeling warm again. The very beginning of excitement and hunger were creeping into his mind, urging him to act, dare Noel to do just what he was teasing. He was astonished he wasn’t satisfied. It had been only a few minutes since he’d come down Noel’s throat and he was already starting to crave him again. This sort of energy was for young people. Not for him. Noel slid his thigh down to place pressure in between Julian’s legs. He started to laugh like I delighted child. The sound of it made Julian feel strange. He didn’t want children to be one of the things on his mind while Noel was pushing up against him like he was.

“Christ Ju, I was just kidding, but now I’m not so sure I couldn’t actually bring you off without laying a finger on you. That was nothing! I can get ten times dirtier, want me to try?” Noel said hurriedly, making the force he was exerting on Julian a bit more insistent.

“No. God, Noel, once was enough.” Noel relaxed and sighed.

“Suit yourself. I want to try that sometime though.” He paused for a bit before he spoke again.“I didn’t mean to make you come that hard, now that you’ve gotten what you wanted you’re probably gonna leave me again, huh?”

Julian pushed the warm body off of him onto the floor, switching positions so it was now Noel’s hips between his knees. He placed a hand on the wood on either side of Noel’s face and locked his arms so he was above him, looking down into his eyes.

“Do you keep saying that just because you like hearing me talk about you? I’m not going to leave you. If anyone should be worrying it should be me. If word gets out about how well you can get another man off, someone is going to steal you from me.”

Noel smiled. “I don’t want anyone’s cock in my mouth but yours.”

“You are so terribly romantic,” Julian said, rolling his eyes and then finally lifting himself up off the floor. “Look at me. I just showered and now I’m a mess again.” He felt his sticky thigh with his fingers.

“You’re welcome,” Noel said, smirking proudly.

********

Julian left and cleaned himself up in the bathroom before walking out and redressing himself. He took care to try and get the creases out of his clothes. Once he had them sorted out, he turned to see Noel emerging from the bathroom, dressed again and with a toothbrush in his mouth. Not even that stopped him from talking.

“Julian, I’m bored,” He complained.

“How can you possibly be bored right now?” Julian said, surprised.

“Well it wasn’t me at the receiving end of that now was it?” Noel responded.

“I would return the favor, but you haven’t been letting me touch you,” Julian said, not knowing what Noel was getting at.

“I don’t want anything like that. I want to DO something today. Let’s go somewhere!” Noel’s words came out a little garbled through the toothpaste.

“Where do you want to go?” Julian asked.

“Why don’t you take me to Camden Market?”

“Why do you want me to take you there? You’ve been there a thousand times.” Julian didn’t really want to go out anywhere. He just wanted to sit down. That little escapade had tired him out and thinking about it made him feel old.

“Yeah, but not with you though!” Noel walked over and looked at him challengingly. “You owe me.”

Julian decided not to argue. “Alright, fine. You want to go now?”

Noel’s face lit up. “Yeah, hold on one second. I’ve got to change into something else. This looks like something my Auntie would wear.” In the end, the outfit Noel changed into; silver boots, black drainpipes and a red velvet shirt, didn’t make him look any less like his “Auntie” than he did before, but Julian chose not to point that out.

Walking by the booths and weaving through the people, Julian felt strange. It wasn’t an all together unpleasant sort of strange, just an unfamiliar one. This was the first time he’d been out with Noel publicly since they had decided to be “together.” Driving there, Julian had been worried it would be a terrible experience, but now that he was there it wasn’t drastically different than it was going out with Noel before things had changed between them. Noel pointed at things delightedly once in a while, just like he always did when they were out shopping together. The only difference now was Julian held Noel’s hand loosely by his side as they walked.

At first it had been nerve wracking. The first few fans who came up to them asking shyly for autographs nearly sent Julian into a mini panic attack. Did they notice their hands? Did they know? What did they think? After a while though, he noticed that some of the fans did indeed notice Noel’s fingers entwined in his, but most didn’t react unless it was to smile. It made him relax a little, but Noel could still tell he was uneasy.

“Your hair is gonna turn grey if you keep worrying about everything so much,” Noel said, squeezing Julian’s hand slightly once the last group of fans had wandered away and left them alone again.

“I’m just nervous about what they’re thinking. I mean, some of them probably know about Julia and my kids. They probably think I’m a dick for being here with you like this.”

“Why d’you worry about the fans so much? They don’t mind us being together, Julian. Quit stressing.”

“How do you know that?” Julian asked, even though he knew what Noel had said was true.

“Half our fans are horrible perverts. You remember that story they wrote about us that I showed you? They’ve expected this was going on longer than you have,” Noel laughed.

“I guess you’re right…” Julian shrugged.

“I know I’m right.” Noel pulled him to the side and faced him, letting go of his hand but still touching Julian’s arm softly while he started talking. “This is what you want right? You want to be with me?”

“Yes, I want to be with you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care what…,” Julian started, but Noel cut him off.

“Good. That’s settled then. Now stop worrying, and enjoy this. For me at least.” Noel’s hand dropped to hold Julian’s once again, and he pulled him back onto the walking path. However, once they had returned to browsing, Julian pulled his hand away in order to slink an arm around Noel’s waist instead.

Noel made a happy sounding noise. “You’re learning,” he said, looking up and grinning. Julian returned the smile. “Oh! I know the perfect thing to cheer you up, Julian! Let’s find you a proper hat.”

Three hours and a meal later, they returned home to Noel’s flat, Noel holding three jackets and a shirt, Julian holding a hat he would never wear.

********

“You sure you don’t wanna come?” Noel asked Julian once again the next night while he applied eyeliner in the mirror.

“No, Noel. It’s really not my sort of thing.” Julian remained resolute.

Noel sighed looking at Julian’s reflection. “Okay….you’re missing out though. What are you gonna do while I’m gone?”

“Probably move the rest of my stuff over here or into my car at least. There’s no use paying for a hotel room if I’m staying here,” Julian answered, biting at the corner of a nail.

Noel snapped the cap onto his liner and spun around, posing for Julian. “How do I look?”

“Like a prostitute.”

“Perfect,” Noel said smiling. He crossed the room and picked up his vintage looking bag that was lying on his chair. He rifled through it and pulled out his cell phone.

“Shit, they’re already here,” he said, glancing at the screen. “Alright well, I guess I’m off then. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” He briskly crossed the room to where Julian was sitting, tilted his chin up with a curled finger and gave him a quick kiss. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, don’t come home too drunk. I’m not helping you unlock your own door. You’ll just have to sit outside,” Julian called to him while Noel walked toward the door. He looked back and smiled before slipping out into the hall.

Julian lingered a while after he was left alone, rearranging the spare bedroom to make room for some of the things he would be bringing over. Noel had turned it into a sort of make-shift studio for his painting. Where canvases and paint bottles weren’t, Noel had used the space as a large closet. In short, the room was a mash up of items and it ended up taking Julian almost two hours to even clear a space for his belongings. Of course, the process would have gone faster if Julian hadn’t kept getting preoccupied flipping through Noel’s sketchbooks and looking at his paintings. He saw countless paintings of unidentifiable creatures, cartoon like animals and likenesses of celebrities. They were amazing, though nothing different than what he’d seen ever since he learned Noel had a knack for painting when they had met. It was when he looked through the sketchbooks, the ones Noel hadn’t shown him, that he saw something different. These pieces didn’t look like Noel’s typical artistic style. They were faces, hands, rooms and landscapes, but instead of having fat choppy lines and bold colors like Noel’s other works, these had been sketched to look just like they did in life, right down to the tiniest details. Julian wondered why Noel had never shown him before. They were actually quite good.

He eventually forced himself to pry his eyes away from Noel’s curious renderings when he realised how late it was getting. He rushed to drive back to the hotel, not wanting to have to check out in the early hours of the morning.

His room was how he left it, minus the fact that it was perhaps a little cleaner. Room service had come around while he was gone, and he was secretly glad he had cleaned most of his mess before they had to. He loaded the rest of his things out to his car, taking care not to leave anything. Just to make sure, he gave the room one last check and turned to leave. Out at the front desk, he turned in his key and paid for his room, thanking the receptionist politely for his stay.

Back in his car he took a short detour, looking out his window at some of the flats he might potentially stop by and look into in the future. He knew he had to buy his own place soon. A large amount of his stuff was still at Julia’s and he needed to get it out. Noel wouldn’t put up with all of Julian’s stuff cluttering up his studio forever. The thought depressed him though. He finally admitted to himself he really didn’t want to leave Noel’s company.

He was still attempting to convince himself that the sooner

he moved out the better while he was standing once again outside Noel’s door ten minutes later, a portable telly on his hip. He had had enough of not being able to watch anything here and had complained numerous times already about the absence of cable in Noel’s flat. Raised voices stopped him from opening the door.

Noel was home already Julian realised a little confused. From the sound of it, he was arguing with someone. A woman. Julian pressed his ear against the door. Listening closely he recognized the voice as Dee’s, though he’d never heard her sound this upset. Their voices weren’t clear enough to hear sentences, only words here and there, but after only a few seconds listening Julian gathered enough from the conversation that it wouldn’t be a wise idea to enter. So instead he walked back downstairs and out into the night where he sat on the front steps, leaned on his portable television and pulled out a fag. He tried to figure out why Dee would be here. He was fairly certain Dee and Noel had stopped spending time together. Besides, Julian had figured that Noel would be out at the party for most of the night, so why were the two of them arguing upstairs? He sucked the bitter smoke into his lungs, deciding to enjoy the calm while he could. Noel would probably be bitching to him about this fight for the rest of the night from the way his voice had sounded.

After what seemed like at least a half hour, Julian was shivering in the cold and half inclined to get back in his car and just let Noel sort if out with Dee. He’d go back and check out another room and sleep there and text Noel so he wouldn’t panic. He’d come back in the morning. Right as he had made up his mind to go through with it, he heard quick footsteps nearing the door. When he’d risen to his feet and turned, he saw Dee emerging from the building. Her eyes were red and swollen. She jumped a little when she saw him standing in the dark in front of her.

“Shit, Julian! You scared me.” She sniffed quietly after she spoke.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. I was just….um….waiting until you two were done,” Julian said carefully.

She let out a humorless laugh. “You should’ve interrupted. We weren’t having the happiest conversation in the world.”

Julian didn’t know why, but he hugged her. She felt weak in his arms. “I’m sorry.” he told her.

“Don’t worry about it Ju. You weren’t the one who cheated on me.” She pulled away and wiped her eyes. “You smell like smoke.” As far as Julian knew, Dee didn’t smoke, but he knew her well enough to know she was asking. He offered her a cigarette and a light, which she took gratefully.

“Thanks, Julian.” She walked down the rest of the steps onto the sidewalk and turned back to him. “I hope he loves you more than he loved me. For your sake.” He felt like he should say something to make her feel better but words failed him. When he didn’t say anything, she gave him a small wave and walked into the night.

Julian wasn’t completely sure what would await him when he finally let himself in Noel’s flat, but he was surprised at what he got. He’d expected anger, seething eyes and flying insults. At least, that’s what he’d gotten a lot of when Dee had initially broken up with him. What he wasn’t anticipating was Noel, immediately on him when he shut the door, wrapping his arms around his neck and crying into his shoulder. Julian leaned down awkwardly to set his television on the floor so he could hold Noel back.

“Hey now. Alright. Shhhh….,” Julian said softly, holding Noel’s shaking back. “Come on. Let’s go over and sit down. You can tell me what happened.” He started to lead Noel into the living room. Julian felt a panic in him. He’d only seen Noel this upset a handful of times in all the years he’d known him.

“I don’t want to sit down,” Noel said in an angry voice. “I want you, now.”

“What?” Julian scanned his face. Something in his voice didn’t sound right.

“I said I want you right now.” Noel jumped up and started kissing Julian furiously, the tears on his eyelashes brushing onto Julian’s skin. Noel walked forward while they were locked together, and before Julian knew it Noel’s bed was nudging the back of his knees. It snapped him out of the moment he’d let Noel lead him into.

“What are you doing?” Julian said, pushing Noel away and holding him at arms length.

“What does it look like?” Noel pushed him back onto the bed and then covered him with his body so he couldn’t get back up. Julian felt a hand slip down his jeans and close roughly over his cock.

“No,” Julian said. Noel ignored him. “I said NO,” Julian commanded, pushing Noel off of him when he didn’t stop.

Noel glared at him viciously. “What the fuck is your problem? She was right wasn’t she? You don’t want me, do you!?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just not going to have sex with you when you’re crying,” Julian answered, hoping desperately that he would snap out of this, whatever it was. He got up off the bed so Noel wouldn’t straddle him again. Noel had other ideas.

“You don’t love me. No one fucking loves me.” Noel walked over to Julian and raised his hand up to hit him, but Julian grabbed his wrist harshly and forced him down to his knees. Noel cried out in pain.

“Noel, I don’t know what’s wrong with you right now, but you’re going to have to calm down. I’m going to count to ten and let you go. If you back up and give me some space I’ll talk with you. If you touch me in any way, I’m leaving for the night.” Julian used a technique he used many times on his children and hoped to God it would work now.

Noel choked back a sob and nodded.

“Ten….nine….eight….seven….six…five….four….three….two….one.” Julian let Noel’s wrist go, and Noel immediately rose and backed up against his dresser, looking at him with tear-filled eyes. He was scary when he was crying. There was nothing soft or defeated about it. It was fire and anger behind the tears.

“Alright Noel, now tell me what’s wrong.” Julian was astonished that Noel had actually listened to him. “Let’s start at the beginning. What was Dee doing here?”

“She was at the party. I see her sometimes. We still move in the same social circles,” Noel tried to say, his voice cracking. “She wanted to know what happened with you and me, and I wanted to thank her.”

“Why couldn’t you tell her there?” Julian asked quietly.

“Because I wanted to try and apologise again for cheating on her forever ago, finally fix things. I didn’t want to do it there with all those people.” Noel said sounding angry.

“Okay, so you got her here, and then what happened?”

“Well it was alright at first, but then she started getting mad when I mentioned you cheating on Julia. I suppose it reminded her of when I cheated.” Noel ruffled his hair, Julian noticed, even when he was upset.“She told me I was an arsehole, and I was the reason she wasn’t happy anymore. I tried to tell her I was sorry, but she just let loose into me, telling me how she hated me for what I did. I thought this was done with, Julian. I honestly fucking thought she had gotten over it, and I told her that. Once I said something about how she needed to move on though, she started bringing you into it saying how I was only a distraction to you and that you’d leave me just like I left her in the end, because that’s all I was: a distraction to people. And I know I am Julian. No one ever fucking sticks around. It’s like they suck up some limelight, fuck me and they’re done. Dee meant something though. She did. I loved her, and I lost her. But I’m moving on like I should. And I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my life but I know you’re gonna leave. You’ll get sick of me, just like everyone else does. Or maybe I’ll make a mistake a few years down the road and you’ll chuck me just like that. I’m tired of people leaving me. And the worst part about it is she’s right. You have your kids, and you have Julia. I’m just a distraction. That’s all I’ll ever be,” Noel finished. His eyes were dull now. He didn’t look mad anymore, just drained. Julian just let him think. After a few seconds he spoke again.

“Can you hold me….please? I won’t hit you, I promise,” Noel begged. Julian didn’t have it in his heart to tell him no. They crawled onto the bed and Noel snuggled up to him.

“Dee is still coping, she said things she didn’t mean. I know you don’t believe me…but you’re not a distraction. There is no more Julia. Only you. You don’t need to get so worked up about it. I love you, okay? I love you even when you’re crying and look absolutely disgusting.”

Noel actually laughed then. It was strangled sounding, but still a laugh. Julian pulled him close and leaned down to kiss the top of his head.

“Can I sleep in here with you tonight?” Julian asked him, knowing that’s what he wanted.

Noel sniffed and then nodded. “Thank you, Julian.”

They stayed like that, both fully clothed until Noel fell asleep, and Julian snuck out from under him to change out of his regular clothes. He made sure to hurry back though, and was still next to Noel in the morning when the younger man opened his eyes.

********

It was scary how easily they fell into the daily movements of a domestic relationship. Getting up, eating breakfast, watching telly, living together like that’s how it had always been. It had been a week since Noel had had his meltdown. He had apologised the next morning and they talked it out, Noel finally relaxing and returning to his normal self. They had spent much of the following days together talking, watching telly, and sometimes doing nothing but sitting together in comfortable silence.

Now, sitting on the couch, Julian was mulling the last two weeks over in his mind. He strummed his fingers lazily over the strings of the guitar on his lap while he thought. Noel was in front of him, humming and moving his body languidly to the song.

“Play a bit faster Julian. It’s hard to dance to a funeral dirge,” Noel complained, but didn’t stop moving to the tune.

Julian gave him a dirty look and switched songs, this one faster and more lively. Noel grinned and sped up, closing his eyes and not caring if he looked odd dancing alone to acoustic guitar.

“Anything else? Or is this song danceable enough for you?” Julian said with a scowl.

“Well,” Noel said, while he glanced at the muted telly in the corner. “Looks like if you turn up the volume, you could dance with me.” Julian followed Noel’s eyes and sure enough, it must have been on the concert channel, because a couple of men with skintight jeans and massive hair were bouncing around onstage.

Julian let out a sigh, cursing the cable he had insisted on hooking up a few days ago. “I am not dancing to that.”

“What! You can’t even hear it. How do you know you don’t like it?” Noel exclaimed.

“Because…just look at them. The only dancing you could do to that would be head-banging, at the most.”

“Well what kind of dancing do you want to do then?” Noel asked. Before Julian could tell him that he didn’t want to dance at all, Noel gasped happily and said, “You want to waltz with me, don’t you!? Well you’re going to have to do it properly. Pretend I’m the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, and come ask for a dance. Find the classical music channel and see if they’re playing a waltz for us.” Noel was shoving the coffee tables into the corner to allow them more room. “C’mon Julian, get up. I can’t move the sofa if you’re on it.”

“Who said I was going to dance with you?” Julian said, but he wasn’t angry. Noel was rushing around the room so excitedly it made Julian grin despite his efforts not to.

“I did. And you remember when we were at that party? I didn’t get my dance. I haven’t forgotten. You owe me one.” Noel smirked like he had just presented Julian with a foolproof contract set in stone.

Julian knew there was no arguing with him at this point. Once Noel got something in his head, it was nearly impossible to get it out, so he leaned his guitar on the sofa and let Noel haul him up by his hands.

“Go on, find some music, Get your laptop if you have to,” Noel ordered. When Julian turned to go, something happened that made him stop. Noel had given him a sharp smack on the arse. He turned to see him grinning mischievously. He wanted nothing more than to wipe that smile off his face. He was being much too bold. Julian hooked his hand roughly around the back of Noel’s neck and pulled him in to kiss him. But when Noel’s hands rose up to twist through his hair, Julian grabbed one in his own hand and forced it down to rest over his jeans so Noel had no choice but to feel what was underneath.

“Do you feel that?” Julian growled, his mouth inches from Noel’s. Noel didn’t answer, just looked at him.

“If you don’t stop being such a tart, I’m just going to have to rape you.”

Noel beamed. “Rape only works if it’s not consensual. Everyone knows that.”

“As I recall, you seem to be depriving me of a certain something still, so I believe it wouldn’t be consensual.”

“You had your chance the night I was crying. Don’t complain.”

“I already told you, I don’t sleep with people when they’re crying. It reminds me of cheesy movies, and it makes me feel ill.”

“Maybe I can arrange something if you make this dance extra good,” Noel said smoothly in Julian’s ear. He was quiet for a second, and Julian could tell he was thinking. “You know…maybe if all the rapists in the world were better-looking blokes then rape would just cease to exist. Or maybe if ugly people only raped ugly people. Or pretty people who enjoyed ugly people, I guess. But if…”

“Oh shut up,” Julian said as he rolled his eyes and let go of Noel. “You’re repulsive, you know that?”

“I’ve been told,” Noel said in an unconcerned voice. “Now hurry up and get some music.” Noel busied himself with pushing the sofa out of the way while Julian picked up the remote and began clicking through the music channels, looking for something that may have a waltz on it. Feeling like an idiot, he clicked on the classical music channel. Why did he always do what Noel asked him to, even when he didn’t want to do it? He silently hoped a waltz wasn’t playing, which he noticed with relief that it wasn’t, but he wasn’t sure why it mattered. He knew Noel would just wait for the next song or make him find one on the internet. Noel was clamoring behind him, scraping the legs of the sofa loudly on the wood floor. When Julian spun around he saw Noel standing there with his hands on his hips, breathing heavy.

“Turn it up. I can’t hear it.” Noel was squinting at the screen. “William Billings….that’s no name for a classical artist. It’s got no style or anything. Sounds like someone who answers telephones and files paperwork.”

Julian smirked. “Yep, and this isn’t a waltz.”

“We don’t need to go about it like we’re fucking professionals. We can pretend this a waltz, well enough.” Noel walked to the middle of the now cleared out room. “Okay. Turn it up as high as it can go, and then ask me for a dance. And remember, depending on how good this is, you might get something from me after,” he finished with glinting eyes.

Sighing, Julian straightened up, turned the volume all the way up and took off his jacket, which he tossed into the corner. Just get this over with, he thought, make Noel happy. It couldn’t be that hard could it? Sweets could make him happy for God’s sake. Music was wafting through the room now, bleeding into the cracks of the walls and consuming the relative silence that had been there a few seconds before.

“Can I have this dance?” Julian requested, offering his hand. He bowed to Noel slightly, knowing he’d soak it up. A pleased noise from Noel proved Julian’s suspicion. If something would make regular people feel sick, Noel would embrace it. He was a self-proclaimed enthusiast of overly sentimental things.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Noel replied, placing his hand in Julian’s larger one and stepping forward so Julian could wrap an arm around his waist.

“Do you even know how to waltz, Noel?”

“I’ve never done, but it can’t be that hard can it? Anyway you’re the gentleman here. It’s your job to lead me through it.” Noel smiled up at him. “Have you waltzed?”

“My mum used to waltz with me a little when I was really young. That’s all I know how to do though,” Julian answered.

“You must’ve been the cutest kid ever Ju, waltzing around. I bet you were reading epic classics when you were still in nappies,” Noel jested.

“No, I was reading them when I was still in the womb. I was writing them by the time I was in nappies,” Julian said, twisting his fingers more comfortably through Noel’s hand, and raising it up in the air. “Now try not to step all over me, alright? I like being able to walk.”

The song playing was a fairly slow one, which was fortunate because it took a while for the pair to get their rhythm. Julian did his best to guide Noel around, and Noel was doing a fairly good job at following Julian’s movements, though he did end up stepping on Julian on a few occasions. Noel would snigger and say he was sorry, but by the third or fourth time Julian thought he may have been doing it on purpose.

“You should’ve just danced to what I wanted to danced to. This is well boring,” Noel complained. But before the words had even finished leaving his lips, a new song started. Noel twisted in Julian’s arms to see what it was.

“Shostakovich, Waltz 2,” Noel said the name awkwardly. “Now that’s a proper name, I can already tell this is going to be better.” The song was quicker and more powerful, and in a delighted voice, Noel added, “Exactly what we’re looking for.”

Julian pulled Noel in even closer, pressing his hand firmly into his lower back. Julian began twirling him around the room rapidly, stepping surprisingly gracefully now around Noel’s feet. They adopted a more defined pattern of moving, Noel leaning into Julian’s chest and letting himself be guided easily. They stepped and spun together, with quickened breaths. The powerful tune was a little haunting and it surrounded them as they moved. Violins were getting louder and the beat was growing faster, and Noel and Julian moved obediently with it, doing their best to keep up without falling over each other. They weren’t the best dancers in the world, but it didn’t seem to matter to either of them. Noel was laughing happily as he was whirled around, every turn making him lose it a little more. Julian was loving it, and purposefully whipped him around forcefully just to hear him shriek with delight. By the time the song was settling down to a close, Noel was laughing into Julian’s shoulder, while Julian held him and chuckled as well, not being able to avoid the contagious happiness filling up the room.

When the instruments’ lingering end finally drifted into silence, Julian let go of Noel’s hand and hugged him tightly. Noel was trying to stop laughing while he held Julian back, muffled partly by Julian’s chest. When they broke apart, they were both grinning at each other.

“See, I told you! That was brilliant!” Noel said out of breath.

Julian just smiled at him. His face was flushed with a tinge of pink, just like it was after they had sex. It reminded him.

“Noel?” Julian said hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“Was that good enough? Was that what you wanted?” Julian felt slightly stupid asking him, but he was past the point of shame.

“Yes! You are a much better dancer than you let on,” Noel beamed at him. “Now I get to make it up to you. I just need to ask you one more time.”

“Whatever it is, yes,” Julian rushed.

“Julian, do you love me?”

“I love you,” Julian answered truthfully.

“You are with me now, and you’re not going to leave?” Noel asked

“No. I want you more than anyone in the world.”

“Then I’m yours,” Noel purred, and then lifted his own shirt over his head and tossed it to the side. Noel moved Julian away from the wall and slowly pushed him flat onto the floor, letting all his weight lay directly on top of him. Julian couldn’t believe how amazing it felt, having Noel’s warmth on top of him again. Noel put a knee on either side of Julian’s hips and rocked back into a sitting position on top of him. Julian would have been bothered that the back of his head hit the ground with a thud, if Noel hadn’t ground Julian’s erection against his own in the process of sitting up.

“Oh god. Noel,” he groaned, struggling to focus. “Are you sure you want me? Out of all the people in the world. You want me? Because, I can’t guarantee I can make you happy, and you don’t need to go through losing someone again. Not that I’m saying I’m leaving, because I’m not. But honestly….”

“Shut up. I know what I want,” Noel replied absentmindedly as he struggled with the buttons on Julian’s shirt. Eventually he had it off, and thrown next to his own discarded top.

“Don’t you think we should…uh, move somewhere more comfortable?” Julian tried to keep his voice steady. It was difficult with Noel rhythmically rocking up against him.

“Will you shut up if we do?” Noel breathed into his mouth when he returned to kiss him again.

“I suppose so…”

“Then come on!” Noel rolled off of him and got up, dragging Julian with him. He led him over to the couch before crawling on top of him again. Noel was kissing his neck, pressing their bodies together, holding his face, anything he could do to make more contact between their bodies. “It has been so hard not to let you fuck me these past days. I about died,” he said.

Julian struggled out from under a protesting Noel and slid onto his knees in front of the couch. He unbuttoned Noel’s drainpipes and peeled them off him. He laid his hands on Noel’s pale thighs for a second before he reached up to kiss his navel, slowly working his way down the dark trail of hair that contrasted fiercely with the smooth, white skin underneath it. Julian couldn’t help but glance at his hip bone, which jutted out from his body and cast a small shadow across his stomach. He leaned over and traced it with his tongue, before returning to his previous path. He was so close to Noel’s cock now that it was causing the younger man’s legs to shake. He was already panting above Julian, and he hadn’t even taken him into his mouth yet.

Noel laid his head back onto the couch, exposing his neck. Julian could tell he was getting impatient and finally took him into his mouth. Noel shuddered. Julian twirled his tongue around Noel, savoring his taste and loving the sounds he was producing.

Noel suddenly gasped. “You think after all this, I’m just going to let you suck me off and that’s it? I want more. Want you to fuck me, Julian.”

Julian was afraid of this. He wanted to, more than anything. He wanted to be rough with him, make him scream, make him come all over the couch moaning his name. But he was afraid it would hurt him. He didn’t think he could mentally handle it, but he didn’t know if he could help himself if he took it a step further. On top of that, he was terrified that Noel would beg him to hit him, like he did last time. He’d complied before, but he wouldn’t now. It would kill him to hit Noel, even if he wanted it. He couldn’t hurt him anymore.

Noel seemed to read his mind. It was actually something he did quite well. “You don’t have to hit me if you don’t want. I won’t ask. I just need you inside me, Ju. Please. I’ll do anything.” Noel brushed back Julian’s hair from the side of his face, and Julian leaned into the touch.

“Will you tell me if I’m hurting you? In a way you don’t want, I mean,” Julian said quietly, looking grave.

“Yes, anything,” Noel said.”I swear.”

“Aright, okay….I’ll do it. Where’s your lube?”

Noel pointed into his room. “Nightstand, second drawer. Blue bottle. Hurry.” Julian retrieved it in seconds. Noel was in the process of situating himself, knees on the seat, arms draped over the back of the sofa. Julian stopped for a second to stare at him. He was so fucking sexy like that. It sent a painful jolt through his cock. Noel saw him looking and blushed a little. “I feel stupid sitting here. Would you hurry up?”

Julian felt himself laugh, a real laugh. It felt so good. “Sorry, Noel. You’re just really gorgeous.”

“Oh, piss off,” Noel said, but he grinned at Julian at the same time.

Julian closed the distance between them, removed his trousers and pulled out his throbbing cock. He covered it with lube and then tended to Noel, pushing one finger, then two inside him, making sure he was ready. Noel groaned as he did so, letting his head fall down in between his shoulders and gripping the fabric on the back of the sofa with his fingernails. Julian bent over Noel, kissed his spine and wrapped his arms around him, hands gripping the base of his ribs.

Noel sighed happily and closed his eyes as he felt Julian about to enter him. A groan from Julian and a sigh from Noel and he was inside, moving in him, slowly, gently. It was the best feeling in the world for him, being completely and utterly one with Julian, feeling his body inside him, hearing his shallow breaths behind him.

“Thank you, Julian…oh God,” Noel mumbled, completely lost in the moment.

Julian didn’t speak. He simply moaned in reply. It was all he could manage. The feeling of Noel around him was unimaginable. Unspoken, they both wanted more and Julian began to thrust inside him harder, pushing Noel into the back of the sofa a little more each time. Noel gasped and whimpered, not able to control himself now that Julian had found his prostate. He was letting words flow out of him without thinking. Mostly he just repeated Julian’s name. In all truthfullness, every time Julian rammed further inside him it did hurt. But Noel wanted it so bad he didn’t even consider telling Julian to be gentle. He wanted anything but to be handled like he was fragile.

“Oh my God, Julian. Yes. More,” Noel whined.

They kept on for a bit, breathing together, lost completely in the other. Tears began to seep from Julian’s eyes, tears because of guilt and pain. Tears for Noel, the most beautiful thing in his world, now breathless and shaking beneath him. Julian gripped Noel’s body closer to him and clawed at his soft skin. Noel loved every fucking minute of it.

“Julian, touch me,” Noel begged. Julian reached down and began to feel him, dragging his hand over Noel’s wet cock, teasing the head, scraping ever so slightly with a fingernail along the shaft. He continued to pull his hand up and down Noel, loving the way he was arching underneath him, watching his muscles move underneath his skin. They were both getting close, Noel biting his lip and gripping the sofa with white knuckles, and Julian, feeling himself fill, ready to release. They moved together a bit longer, and then Noel, edging closer to climax, flung his head up and let out a wanton moan, his body rippling with euphoria.

That moan sent Julian over the edge, and the blood rushed to his head as he came inside Noel, collapsing over his shaking body, feeling the tears on his face and sobbing into his skin. “Oh fuck,” he moaned, feeling like his entire being was being ripped apart from all the searing emotions tearing through his mind. Noel came right after, stiffening and letting out a loud shuddering groan, before collapsing, completely spent under Julian’s warm body.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. So sorry, Noel…,” Julian repeated, not caring that he was crying.

Noel just lay there drinking his voice in, his apologies, feeling Julian’s heartbeat on his skin. “Sorry for making me come all over my own sofa? You should be.” Noel grinned at him.

Julian choked out a laugh, but still looked upset. Noel’s voice softened.“It’s okay. You’re forgiven. You’re forgiven, Ju. It’s going to be alright.” He ran his hand comfortingly through the older man’s hair and wiped away a tear from his cheek with a finger. “None of it matters. Just us, here and now. Don’t let this slip away ever again.”

Noel crawled out from under Julian, but only so he could put Julian’s arm over his shoulder and curl up close to him, resting his head on his collarbone. Just like the first time. Julian responded by pulling him in close, protective and warm. Noel let his arm rest on Julian’s chest. And that’s how they stayed. Skin against skin, Julian holding Noel in his arms, feeling his heart.

Neither of them said anything for a while, just listening to the other breathe, until finally Noel said in a hushed voice, “I ask you too much if you love me.”

Even though he didn’t pose it as one, Julian knew it was a question. One that he would readily answer. “Noel Fielding, I love you. Always have, and always will. I’ll never get tired of saying it.”

Noel seemed to be satisfied with the answer, but after a moment he looked up at him and studied his face. “Are you going to leave me again? Decide you can’t do it? Like you did last time?” His face held a child’s innocence. He looked scared of what Julian would say.

Julian was quiet for a minute, thinking of the appropriate thing to say to convince Noel of his intentions. He bent his head down to kiss him. “Never again.” He felt Noel relax in his arms and settle even closer into his embrace. “Never again.”

End Notes: FIN

Sabooyouslag
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