All Change
Category: Real Person Fic
Characters: Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding
Pairing: Noel Fielding/Julian Barratt
Rating: PG-13
Status: WIP
Length: 1-5k words
Man and Wife
Contents
Man and Wife
Author’s Notes: Thanks to those on the LJ community who commented on this 🙂 And I agree, drunk Julian is fun!
It was the London ‘dawn’ chorus that eventually woke him up. Some idiot gunning his car outside, threatening to shake itself apart with the deep resonating thuds of a bassline coming from ridiculously oversized speakers.
Grumbling a sleepy curse upon the ‘Southern twat’, Julian rolled onto his back; immediately regretting it as the sudden movement brought up waves of nausea and disorientation to add to the thick pounding at the front of his skull. So Ken’s stag night had been a success.
Against his better judgement, he slowly opened one eye against the glaring sunlight. The other opened with a quick flick of panic when he realised the room was in a muted semi-darkness thanks to the blackout linings on the curtains. He didn’t own blackout curtains-he usually enjoyed getting natural light into his room. The roaring in his head beat the urge to bolt upright for a better look at where he’s ended up, leaving him to try and piece together last night’s drink-clouded memories. He remembered leaving the Arms when the lock-in petered out to the last three capable of speech. A dull ache in the soles of his feet reminded him of his walk through the city-but to where?
It took the surreal empty stare of a black-eyed neon skull to shock Julian into realisation. How the hell could Noel wake up to that… thing every morning. Things, he had to correct himself as he looked round the room into more acrylic black gazes. The white walls served to perfectly set off the bright reds, blues and yellows that Noel seemed to love using. They had always reminded Julian of pots of primary finger paints; so it had come to no surprise when he’d watched Noel swirl yellow into blue with the tip of one long, arty finger. But then that was Noel all over-hands-on and physical, active and not bound by convention.
A twinge of urgency from his bladder elicited another unhappy groan. Julian swung himself round to sit on the edge of the bed as fast as he dared, not wishing to add his own palette of internal colour to his friend’s room. He was missing one sock, but still wearing both his shirt (buttons mostly undone, as if he’d started the job but been too tired or drunk to finish it) and trousers. The grottiness of dried sweat added to the overall lousy feeling he was having, so he shucked off the crumpled white linen as he padded a slow course to the adjoining bathroom.
As he expected, he looked a mess under the harsh strip light over the bathroom mirror as he passed it. Not that he could see much of the lower half of the mirror, as a myriad of bottles and cans and tubs created a strange kind of cityscape along the shelf just below. Product-he should have expected nothing less. A fond smile played on his lips as he relieved himself; despite how often he teased his younger friend with jibes of narcissism, he had to admit that Noel’s pride in his appearance only served to add to his androgynous charm. He got a lot of attention for it, which suited him fine-but sometimes left Julian feeling pushed out.
Did it?
No, it was probably just jealousy at how laid back and natural Noel was in front of a crowd. Nothing to do with wanting to have all of the cheeky Londoner’s attention to himself. Never.
Oh, he thought suddenly as his brain dredged up another memory of the previous night from the depths of Lake Lager. A slightly distorted mental video played-Noel ordering him to bed, Julian standing up with less than his usual grace, walking towards the bedroom—
Then turning back and planting his lips gently on Noel’s cheek.
Oh.
A rattle of keys snapped him back to the here-and-now with a jolt. Probably Noel, he told himself in an effort to get his heart back in rhythm. It occurred to him that, though he knew it was daylight, he had no idea what the time was. Twisting his left hand over, he quickly noticed the absence of his watch. He hoped he hadn’t lost it in the adventures of last night’s moonlit stroll.
It was one that Noel had bought him for his last birthday.
“And the dead arose and appeared to many. Mornin’!”
Venturing out from the bedroom had earned Julian a cheery greeting and a mug of tea. Noel was, as ever, smiles and sunshine, bobbing his head along to music only he could hear as he fished a loaf of bread from a carrier bag. Julian was content to lean on the counter and watch as his friend danced across the kitchen, chattering animatedly about who he’d bumped into on the way to the nearest convenience shop.
“—so I reckon I’m going to go. You up for a night out?” Noel was sporting his most impish grin, knowing too well that his closing comment would goad the older man into recalling his antics of the previous night. Julian gave a wry smile in reply, choosing to play it cool and take a sip of his tea. As the scalding liquid hit his tongue, he reflexively jumped back away from the mug. The sudden movement jerked the mug even more, sending more of the drink flooding over his hand.
Far from showing concern, Noel was wracked with laughter. “Second time in twenty-four hours!” he managed to say between giggles. Julian scowled, realising now where the red mark on his leg had come from. This was why he didn’t go out on the razz too often.
“Here.” The soothing coolness of the damp towel was a welcome feeling on his scathed skin. Noel swiftly relieved Julian of the renegade mug and set about dabbing at the burn mark gently. “I wouldn’t try the same thing on your tongue though!” he joked, his smile more sympathetic this time. Those startling blue eyes held the gaze of the deep-set brown for just a fraction too long, and a quick squeeze in Julian’s chest added to the list of today’s maladies. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just-exciting?
Julian opened his mouth, but ended up guppying as the words fled from his head.
Um, about last night… Sorry I kissed you, it was stupid.
He couldn’t say that. ‘Stupid’ just seemed too harsh.
I didn’t do anything embarrassing last night, did I?
Noel would know he was playing the innocent. Noel always did.
How bad was I last night?
That just gave the opportunity for an answer Julian wasn’t sure he wanted to hear.
Noel was grinning again. “What would you do without me, eh?” he beamed as he studied his friend’s hand. Satisfied with his handiwork, he flicked the towel into the sink carelessly. “I feel like a proper wife now!”
With a brief pause but without a word, Noel raised Julian’s hand to his lips and kissed it softly. Like his eyes, his lips lingered a little longer than they should.
But Julian wasn’t going to complain.
End Notes: This is nothing like the first draft I wrote. I got to work this morning, re-read what I’d written and promptly scrapped it and started it again! This flows a lot better, in my opinion.